Maurilio Amorim

Category: personal growth

  • Are We Working too Hard?

    “If you work too much you make yourself and your boss look bad.” That is certain not the American way! Recently I spoke with a friend whom works for an European-owned publishing company. It has taken him a while to acclimate to their working environment where more work hours doesn’t mean more credit from your supervisors.

    My friend was gently reminded that he was working too much, and, therefore, making his boss look bad. What?! Yes. According to the company’s thinking, if you’re working past 5 p.m. or before 9 a.m., you’re not being effective and not managing your time well. If you work too much your productivity drops and your work quality suffers. According to the French, you make yourself and your supervisor look bad–effectiveness before busy work.

    And, by the way, they close their offices from December 23 until January 2nd and that’s doesn’t count toward the month’s vacation you must take during the summer. Oh, yes, I almost forgot this one: in the next few weeks they’ll be closing the offices at noon on Fridays. I’m thinking about applying for a job there. The Immigrant I work for is definitely not French.

    All right, I think I’ve said enough. What’s your take on the American work ethic? I’ve subscribed to being the first in and the last out because that’s the way you get ahead, right?

  • You Can Buy Happiness

    Money can buy happiness. It’s not a typo. Unlike popular belief, money does buy happiness. Studies have proven it.  And that’s a great vindication for power shoppers just in time for black Friday (for those who read my blog from other countries, black Friday is the busiest shopping day in America.).  After all people are already sleeping in tents outside Best Buy stores so they can get their new flat screen TV for a bargain. While some of us chase the deal, others chase the emotional high they get out of a purchase, we all ultimately seek the happiness that owning stuff brings. Hold on. Not so fast That’s not how money buy happiness, however.

    money buy happiness

    According to author Robert Frank, in his book Luxury Fever, the positive feelings we get from material objects are frustratingly fleeting. Spending money on experiences, especially ones with other people, produces positive emotions that are both meaningful and more lasting. For instance, when researches interviewed more than 150 people about their recent purchases, they found that money spent on activities such as concerts and group dinners out, brought far more pleasure than material purchases like shoes, TVs or expensive watches.

    In another study, 46 students were given $20 to spend. The ones who were told to spend the money on others were happier at the end of the day than the ones who had been instructed to spend the money on themselves.

    The activity of spending money on others is called “prosocial spending.” As we enter the Christmas season, we often contemplate what we are going to ask for Christmas or, in my case, what new fun, expensive toy I’m going to “reward” myself for being, well, me.

    What if instead of treating ourselves with stuff we can’t really afford to impress people we don’t really like, we decided to create meaningful experiences for those we love? How different would our Christmas be if we chose to bless those whom cannot pay us back in any way? Your act of prosocial spending might be financially helping a friend who’s going through a tough time, or perhaps it’s spending time and resources on someone you don’t know well because, if you don’t, no one else will.

    Search your heart. I’m sure you’ll come up with a list of people you are uniquely positioned and gifted to help.  I’m challenging you as I’m challenging myself. I hope we don’t ignore the prompting to make a difference and spend more on ourselves.

    As you read this, did some one(s) come to mind?

  • The Question that Can Take You to the Next Level

    Recently I’ve spent time with two great communicators: one has sold over 37 million books and the other is a leader of one of the nation’s largest churches and an amazing teacher. For all practical purposes these men are “on top of their game,” after all they have achieved the kind of professional success most people only dream of achieving. Interestingly, each of them independently of one another asked me the same question:

    How can I get better at what I do?

     

     

     I’m sure the very reason for their success is, what I call, “the life-long learner syndrome.” I was first introduced to it but an 83 year-old camp cook in South America when I was only 15. She called me in the kitchen and ask me to show her how to make Brazilian Stroganoff. She had been cooking five times longer than I had been alive, and yet, she was willing to learn from me. She was gracious and kind and did everything I ask her to do. There was no fuss, attitude, nor even the occasional “here’s a better way to chop onions.” I taught her how to make a dish, but she taught me a life lesson I have never forgotten: it’s never too late to learn. I blogged earlier about another life-long learner here.

    From time to time, I also find myself asking: How can I get better, what do I need to change or learn? It often means reading a new book, attending a seminar or meeting with an expert who can help me break through a problem or a plateau.

    What about you? How do you keep from getting stuck in your professional life?

  • What I Learned from Andy Rooney as I Watched 60 Minutes

    I want to live and  die like Andy Rooney. This past week he passed away at the age of 92. After watching Mr. Rooney’s life from my seat in front of the TV since I was a child, I have come to the realization that when it came to work, he got it right. I never met Andy Rooney or knew much about his personal life or religious views. That’s not the point of this post. But here’s what he taught me about life over the decades as I saw him on my tv.

    What Andy Rooney taught me about life While watching him on 60 minutes

    He taught me that I need to love what I do. There was no question Andy loved his job. At get 92 in this final interview, Mr. Rooney answered the if-you-had-to-do-it-over question with a simple answer: I would have been a journalist; I would have worked for 60 minutes. In other words, he would have it done it all over again.  I want to look back in my career and know that I did what I loved in a the place where I loved doing it.

    He taught me to speak my mind. Andy cared more about speaking what he believed than what it was popular.  Whether you agree with Mr. Rooney’s views or not, he let you know where he stood. A few years ago, he said something that upset a minority group. CBS suspended him for a month and saw a 20% decline in viewership. He was quickly re-instated. I want to stand up for what I believe even when it’s not the popular thing to do.

    He taught me that while my body might age, my mind doesn’t have to. He was old, he was feeble and according to some, cantankerous–at that age, I say you can be whatever you want to be. But his mind was sharp and his memory strong until the end, allowing him to write and comment on the world around him with a perspective very few could have. After all, he didn’t read about it but  lived through The Great Depression, World War II,  Vietnam, the Civil Rights Movement, Reaganomics and beyond. I want new generations to engage with the content that I produce in my latter days because it brings a critical perspective that only experience can generate. It’s not looking back and glamorizing the past, but interpreting the present in the light of where we have come and understanding where it might take us.

    He taught me that I should not quit until I’m really done. Mr. Rooney died less than a month after his last broadcast. What great timing. I want to contribute to my world until the day I die: nothing left to do, no more work left to be done, no bucket list item left uncrossed. I know that’s not up to me, and God’s timing is different for all of us, but what an awesome way to go.

    How do you feel about working until you die? Shouldn’t we retire?

     

  • The 5 Average: What Impact Your Closest Friends Have

    Someone said you are the average of the 5 people closest to you in every area of your life. That thought has stayed with me for a long time. Could it be true? Think about the 5 people whom you are the closest at this point in life. Where are you financially, physically, spiritually in relation to them?

     We grew up hearing about the dangers of peer pressure and not getting “mixed up with the wrong crowd.” People have a way to affect us negatively as well as positively, and in my experience, no relationship is strictly one way. Not for long, anyway. So we influence those around us as much as they influence us.

    For the sake of this mental exercise, let’s then assume we ARE the average of the five people closest to us. What are the implications not only for where we are currently in our life journey, but for the next steps to where we want to be?

    It’s fair to say there are seasons in our lives that we need different friends. That doesn’t sound very loyal but people change, priorities shift and we might find ourselves stuck in a place we don’t want to be. This is not about a self-serving idea of discarding people who cannot help get us to the top. But about being intentional about those in our lives who can help us grow and hold us accountable to higher performance, standards, and even a stronger faith. These are mentors/friends as well as those whom we mentor who share some of the same values and goals and make the idea of the 5 work.

    I have life-long friendships that are dear to me and that I will always have. These are people whom I trust with my heart and life. However, we might not be as close as some of relationships I see daily or “do life” close together for a season, but I know I can count on them and they on me. But often these are not part of the 5.

     How intentional should we be about the 5 people closest to us? Should we just let life happen and not worry about it?

  • Becoming the Best Me I can Be

    “That’s just who I am, and I have made peace with that.” I could not help to eavesdrop on the conversation going on next to me. The gist of the whole thing was that the man speaking those words had come to grips with himself, more specifically, with his weight and whatever other dynamics that go along with being a large person. I struggle with that statement every time I hear it.

    best me I can be

    There’s something good and even healthy in realizing who you are, and as the Bible says we are “fearfully and wonderfully made.” Understanding that God created us uniquely and for a purpose is a great place to be psychologically because culture tries hard to define for us whom we should emulate, how we should look and act. It’s comforting hearing from people who do not buy into all  of that.

    But there’s a darker side of that statement that I cannot help but consider, specially coming from someone who could benefit from losing weight even if done so for health reasons alone. There’s this nagging feeling that it’s easy to settle for the status quo than to pay the price and fight to get to a better place. I wrestle with it constantly. I must confess I have a tendency to go overboard with everything I do, so I’m aware I can be overzealous about personal goals, specially when it comes to health and fitness.

    I have decided that  I need to become the best me I can be. I know what that means for me, or at least I’m trying to figure it out. I have no idea of that means for you, and I will not impose my own personal goals on you, on my family, or friends. I must confess, I have done that in the past with no success, instead, I frustrated and hurt the people whom I love.

    But I still believe that tomorrow can be better than today. Call me naive, but I do. I believe that I can grow, learn, train, lose weight, and get stronger even when most people would label me as being past my prime.  The way I see it, if I shoot for the stars and only get to the moon, I will be further than I have ever been.

    How do you handle the tension of becoming your best and being content with who and where you are?

  • Wrestling with Discontent

    “If I am not moving forward, I know I am sliding backwards.” That’s a cliche for many, but it’s a foundational truth for me. Some label it discontent, or ungratefulness, others personal growth. I have come to the realization it can be both a lack of gratitude or a great opportunity to grow and reaching new personal heights. The difference has everything to do with our motivation.

    discontent

    No one would ever accomplish greatness without challenging the status quo. The inner drive to take us beyond where we have been, beyond our own perceived limitations comes from within, and I believe is from God. But even this part of our divined-inspired nature can be corrupted. In this case, replacing our God-given drive to become better at who we and what we do, to grow, and even accomplish the impossible with the search for happiness and significance is the difference between personal growth and ungrateful discontent.

    Please, don’t settle. Keep pushing. But also realize that there is not a pot of gold at the end of your personal-accomplishments rainbow that will make you happy. Our achievements cannot do that. While they can bring a certain amount of joy into our lives, their enjoyment is temporary at best. Soon we’ll find ourselves discontent, yet again.

    Recently I was struggling with some of my personal goals. I finally had an honest conversation with myself and began examining the motivation behind them. I had put too much weight on the pay off, knowing that even if I accomplished all of them, they could never give me the satisfaction I needed.

    Have you ever pursued something (even a someone) that turned out to be a disappointment? How did it impact you?

  • Instead of More Effort, Try a New Strategy

    “That guy works hard, but he has looked the same for the past year,” was the remark. It was true. The man at the gym we were watching was no slacker. He had been hitting the weights hard for nearly an hour and the sweat dripping down his face was proof of his commitment. Sadly, however, he had not made any gains in muscle size, weight loss, or definition for a long time. While there are a lot of factors that go in changing one’s physique–from genetics, to diet, exercise form, etc–one thing stood out to me: he has had the same exercise routine since I had first noticed him. As I contemplated this man’s dilemma, I thought of all the effort we put in other areas of life with seemingly little or no return.

    change new strategy

    It’s part common sense, part human nature to press on towards a break through. If we are not producing at work, we just work harder, longer hours. If our organization is not growing, we work the same plan harder. It seldom seems to occur to us that “more” or “harder” might not be the answer. Sometimes the only thing that works is “different.”

    It’s the old definition of insanity that’s so overused these days but that still works: “insanity is doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results.” I’ve tested this theory several times. Most recently I did it with my workouts and diet. I have always been active, but in order to get to single digits body fat and put on about 10 lbs of muscle I had to completely change my diet and exercise routine. Same effort + a new plan = different results.

    It sounds so obvious and elementary as I write this, but much like the man who is stuck on a no-change routine, we get stuck more often than we care to admit. I know there are other areas of my life that I need this lesson. If I were completely honest with myself I would have a self conversation that says, “you’ve got to do something different. Quit the insanity and change strategy”

    Have you ever been in a high-effort, little-result situation? How did you deal with it?

  • The Rule of Five

    “You are the average of the five people closest to you.”

    you are the average of the 5 people closest to you

    I have been thinking about this statement for several years now. The more I analyze it, the more it seems to ring true, even though I cannot prove it.  If it’s true, those closest to us have a tremendous influence in our total well being. They impact us:

    professionally

    financially

    spiritually

    physically

    How do you feel about the idea that you are the average of the five people closest to you?

  • How Not to Leave a Job. A Lesson From Caddy Steve Williams

    The way you leave a job says more about you than the way you started it. Recently Tiger Woods fired his caddy of 13 years, Steve Williams. Unfortunately for Mr. Williams, his public reaction to the event is a classic case of how not to walk away from a job. Whether or not Tiger was justified in firing Williams, the time and manner of it is truly irrelevant. The only thing Williams can control is his reaction. In Steve’s own words:

    “Following the completion of the AT&T National I am no longer caddying for Tiger after he informed me that he needed to make a change. After 13 years of loyal service needless to say this came as a shock. Given the circumstances of the past 18 months working through Tiger’s scandal, a new coach and with it a major swing change and Tiger battling through injuries I am very disappointed to end our very successful partnership at this time.” You can watch the video announcement below:

    The words “scandal,” “earn my respect,” “put my family through,” and “I’ve been loyal” do nothing to help a man who made 31 million dollars from his job as a caddy. If there was ever a chance of reconciliation between Tiger and Steve, I’m sure this interview killed it. If I were a professional golfer looking for a new caddy, I would think twice before hiring him.

    Being fired is beyond our control, but leaving a job well is a 100 percent in our hands. Had Mr. Williams said, “I’m disappointed but it’s Tiger’s decision and I wish him well,” most of us would have a lot more sympathy for the man. After watching the interview, I’m thinking: quit your whining.

    Have you ever left a bad work situation? How did you handle it?