Maurilio Amorim

Category: personal growth

  • Workout Systems to Help Your Lack of Motivation

    I’m a naturally disciplined person. I exercise 6 days a week, usually early mornings. It’s not always easy. That’s not true. It’s never easy.  Getting up at 4:30 a.m., hitting the pavement for a run or going to the gym for a hard workout is often the last thing my body wants to do.  So I have come up with a few systems to help push through when motivation alone is not enough, which happens to be pretty much every day.

    workout partner

    Set up goals. Different seasons in life I have different goals. They provide me with the motivation I need.  I have trained for a 5k, 10k and marathon. I’ve done triathlons. My current goal is hitting single digits body fat. I’m almost there. If you have a goal, you’ll go much farther, faster.  It gives you a reason to say “no” to the warm cookie the flight attendant offers late at night after a brutal day, or to order the baked tilapia and steamed broccoli at Maggiano’s when your entire family is feasting on a mountain of delicious carbs.

    Schedule the workouts. On Sunday night I schedule my entire week’s workouts. If I’m traveling I try to find a gym near my hotel, and if I can’t workout, then I make that day my rest day. This week, for example, I’m doing chest, triceps and abs on Monday, back and biceps and running on Tuesday, shoulders and abs on Wednesday, running and legs on Thursday, arms on Friday and a long run on Saturday.

    Prepare the night before. I have a tendency to walk around aimlessly in the mornings. If I don’t pick my clothing and pack my gym bag the night before, I’m usually late for the gym and my workouts don’t get done. I get everything ready so all I have to do is get up, brush my teeth and get out. Self motivation is not enough.

    Have an accountability partner. I have a workout partner, several running partners and I even have friends in cities I visit often to get a good workout or run in. Knowing someone is waiting on me, forces me to get up and get going. I also work harder when I’m doing it with another person. But make sure you find someone who is reliable and who’s going to push you. A demotivating, unreliable partner can derail your plans faster than training alone.

    Have you developed systems to help when you lack motivation?

  • HAES [Health At Every Size] and the Slippery Slope

    I just found out about HAES, Health At Every Size, from a Google+ shared blog by Chris Brogan. The post By Amy Pershing titled “Is The Idea Of Health At Every Size Just Permission To Be Fat?” The implied answer in the title is “no” but I’m having a tough time with overall concept.

    In her own words Ms. Pershing says,

    According to the BMI chart and the cultural message, I still have about 35 lbs to go. My body, however, seems perfectly healthy and happy right here. I figure she knows better. So “HAES” is NOT about “permission to get fat.” It is about each of us individually listening with body and mind, letting our unique bodies find the way to the weight they are happy to be, and valuing whatever the result.

    HAES and obesity in America

    While there is a lot of support for HAES, I think it’s a dangerous slippery slope for those who need the most help. One of my concerns is how a HAES mind set manages the line of settling for what its supporters believe is “appropriate, comfort and enjoyable” weight and the human mind’s ability to challenge ourselves to reach goals and stretch beyond the status quo. And I’m not talking about crash diets and unsustainable exercise programs.

    I’m also not advocating an idea of physical standards that’s unrealistic for every body type. But when results from the 2007–2008 National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey (NHANES), using measured heights and weights, indicate that an estimated 34.2% of U.S. adults aged 20 years and over are overweight, 33.8% are obese, and 5.7% are extremely obese, it’s easy to see how people who don’t want to confront their health issues can use HAES as a cop out not to take personal responsibility. “I’m big and beautiful.” While that might be true you are not healthy and your quality of life is going to suffer greatly.

    Somehow an “average” size person today in America is by any world standards, an overweight, unhealthy individual. I live in one of the most unhealthy places in the country, Tennessee. If I compare myself with the average size person, I would probably gain another 30 lbs and still look average.

    HAES advocates believe one should not use exercise to lose weight. Really!? There’s nothing wrong with exercise to maintain a healthy BMI or weight. People have been doing it for centuries. I enjoy running, but sometimes I run a little farther because I know I’m about to eat a big dinner. I run for competition, for fun and for life and that means controlling my cholesterol, my body fat and the quality of life that being lean allows me to have, and yes, it includes fitting in a size 31 jeans at age 47. I used to weigh 40 lbs more than I do today. I was lethargic, had asthma attacks, and battled depression. Since my teenage years my body had “settled’ around that weight. I was overweight, I ate too much and I was sedentary. I finally had enough and decades ago I changed my mind, my habits, my health and body in the process.

    Again, I’m not advocating an ideal of beauty, but with the obesity epidemic we face in America, the last thing I want my 14-year old son to hear is that his body has found his ideal weight at  230 lbs and he should be ok with that.

    How do you feel about HAES?

  • Judging the Struggle

    I haven’t met anyone perfect yet. There are few people who want me to believe they have it all figured out, but I’m not buying it. Some struggles are easier to hide, others play out in the public eye,  and some are devastating. But part of the human condition means that we are fallen creatures and that we often sweat the small things, wrestle with  big questions, doubt was supposed to be certain. Some refer to these struggles as baggage. I don’t agree. Baggage is something you choose to carry around. Our struggles are too often tied in to the very core of who we are, to the human condition.

    struggle

    As a Christian, I find myself wanting to judge people whose battle is different than mine more harshly and empathize with those whose struggles mirror my own.

    That’s very hypocritical.

    Today as I run into hurting people whose struggles are so different than mine that I can’t relate to, I’m committed not to judge them. I’m going to try to love them. While judging comes naturally for me, loving takes a lot more effort. That means showing,

    respect,

    kindness,

    attention,

    grace,

    friendliness,

    I believe this will be harder than I expect, but I must start sometime. Today feels like the right day.

    Is there a change you need to make in your attitude, life, thinking that you’ve been putting off? Why not join me and make this your starting point?

  • Life in Detour

    No one like detours. If you’re an impatient type-A person like me, you really hate detours. I don’t build enough margins in my day for extra time to get somewhere.  By its own nature, a detour is a slower, longer, less convenient way to get anywhere. Who wants that? But it has been in the detours of my life that I have grown the most.

    Life in detour

    As I take inventory of the times where I made the most progress in the professional, personal, as well spiritual parts of my life, I can point out to specific “detours” that forced me to get off the highway, take the slower more cumbersome path that would eventually lead me to a place a discomfort but growth at the same time.

    I remembering taking a detour in college when my parents called me on my 19th birthday to let me know that they couldn’t send me any more money. Brazil had new laws for sending money outside the country, and besides they could no longer afford to pay for my tuition. Not the call I expected. But that detour led me to trust God in a real way that I had never done before, and looking back, it was the best gift I could have received. During that season I transferred my dependency from my parents’ resources into God’s hands, an excellent exchange.

    While some personal detours are inconveniences, others are painful. Some we bring upon ourselves, like the time I allowed the wrong person to manage my team, others come without provocation.  But however difficult it is to be content in the middle of something we didn’t plan for, or wanted in the first place, we can easily find ourselves there again unless we are willing to learn and grow.

    Chances are that we are going through a detour in some area of our lives right now. It might be a career, relational, physical, spiritual or even an existential one.  What should we do? I’m not sure. Each detour is different. I just know that there’s always a growth opportunity, a lesson to learn, or simply a much needed slower pace somewhere in the midst of the inconvenience.

    What kind of detour are you going through right now?

  • The Liability of Being Passive

    There’s a big difference between being easy going and being passive. The first allows you enjoy life more than someone who’s always worked up about the little things or the stuff he cannot control. Being passive is a problem. It assumes that the old saying “que sera, sera” or “whatever will be, will be” is true. While being easy going might be a virtue, being passive is a liability.

    Passive Fear

    I have enough self awareness to know that I’m not easy going by any means. My natural tendency is to micromanage just about everything. I’d like to think I have become better with age at letting things go and trusting capable people to do their jobs. But It’s not an easy thing for me. Just ask my wife.

    As I think about my propensity to be more passive than I’d like, I try to find out what motivates me not to deal with something I know needs fixing or not to pursue an opportunity with all the energy and resources available. After all it doesn’t make sense for a control freak not to want to be proactive. Or does it?

    As I thought about my predicament I came up with the following formula:

    control + passiveness = fear

    People who are motivated by fear will fret over the smallest, most insignificant details but will avoid the confrontation, the pursuit, the push that will have the most benefit. Think about it. If we operate from a fear base and not from an opportunity base, our biggest concern is not to mess up, lose, get fired, get found out. Only when we shift our thinking from fear into possibility, then we’ll be able to move from being passive to being active. Unless we are ok with failing, we cannot move away from fear-based thinking . Ultimately, the freedom to fail drives the courage of possibility and overcomes the paralyzing fear of passivity.

    The longer I live, the more I believe there’s no other way around this one. As the Bible points out we cannot serve two masters, I say we cannot have two primary motivators driving our key decisions. What I am not saying, however, is that we should throw caution to the wind and take foolish risks.

    How much of control freak are you? How much do you avoid confrontation?

  • Building Your Personal Brand

    ‘You don’t have a brand. You are a brand.’ Those were words came out during a conversation with a client recently and have stuck with me for a while. If you’re not sure what I mean about brand, I defined it here. Corporate brands aside, each one of us are crafting every day what are brands are what it stands for and all the other dynamics that go with the intangibles of who we are.

    Your personal brandBrands are created by impressions that, over time, create a picture of who we are in the mind of our audience, no matter who they are. Everything we do, say, wear, drive, matters. Our personal brand is not only the professional head shot on a blog or social media profile, but the total effect of everything we put out there. The implications are huge.

    Our words matter. Language defines us more than most anything else. Words can be angry, sad, encouraging, proper, kind, blessings, curses, gossip, difficult, hopeful. Our brand is being shaped by the types of words we use.

    Our appearance matters. Are we put together, fashionable, unfashionable, country, cosmopolitan, plain, starched, earthy, trendy, hipster, formal, casual? While you might not want to be labeled, people have already labeled you. It’s just human nature. We need order and, therefore, we put people in categories. While you might not have thought much about your appearance, others have already put you in a category. Ask a trusted friend. They will tell you.

    Our actions matter. No matter what we say and how we dress, what we do will ultimately seal in the minds of others how they see us. There’s a trend currently that says “my personal life has nothing to do with my professional performance.” I don’t think anyone really believes that. If you’re a scoundrel in your personal life, people will ultimately, and rightfully, think you’re up to no good in your professional life.

    Your personal brand is the essence of who you are. Trying to project an imagine that’s not true for the sake of building a fictitiously better you is not only exhausting but ultimately futile. I have a better suggestion. Instead of working hard to create the image, we should strive to become the brand, the person, we are trying so hard to portray. Crazy idea coming from a marketing guy, huh? But in my experience, we can make any claims we want in a marketing campaign, but unless we deliver on the promises, the campaign will fail. So let’s spend time in making the “product” what we want it to be and the branding will become a natural outflow of the real deal.

    What area of your personal brand you need to focus next?

  • A Relationship Guide to Making Friends

    I’m not a relationship expert by any means, but I am surrounded by great relationships with  co-workers, clients, life-long friends and family. I remember, however, a time in my life where I had a difficult time making friends. What changed? I did.

    I remember being so insecure that I believed I didn’t have much to offer anyone. I couldn’t imagine walking up to the “cool people” of the day and introducing myself. I used to think that I needed to be wealthy, smart, good looking–preferable all three– in order to get attention and popular friends. After all, at least the money and some expensive toys could buy a few people’s affections.

    how to make friends

    Needless to say that never worked. It wasn’t until I began to have a better understanding of who I was as a person, my true identity, that I was able to muster the confidence to get out of my self-pity bubble and engage people who I once perceived as intimidating. Before I could have successful relationships, I had to changed the way I thought about myself. Here are some of the most fundamental changes:

    1. Believe I have something to offer. Regardless of my bank account balance or any professional skill set, I can be a good friend. I can listen and encourage. While that takes effort and intentionality, it’s something we all can do at any age or stage in life.

    2. A smile opens doors. I found out that a simple smile broke down more barriers than the most clever opening conversational line. Walk in a strange room and smile. You’ll soon be talking with someone.

    3. Show genuine interest in others. The more insecure I am the more I want to talk about my accomplishments and drop names of famous people I know or claim to know. If you want to make friends fast, get to know your new friend better and get them talking about their lives instead of yours. You’ll have a new friend in no time.

    4. Don’t discriminate. I try hard not to only seek friendships with people whom I think I can benefit from. I have friends who are much older and much younger and everything in between. Some of them are very wealthy while others are just starting out their professional careers and can barely afford rent. Yet, I have never been in any relationship that I have not been blessed by my friends. Whatever I end up giving, I usually get so much more back.

    What else would you add to this list?

  • The Gift of Summer Solstice: Daylight

    Today is a special day for me:It’s the Summer solstice. I’m not a sun or nature worshiper, but  I love summer because I love daylight. I’m energized by getting a lot done in a day,  and there’s nothing that says carpe diem more than the longest day of the year. In the northern hemisphere it happens to be today. We’ll have 14h 37m 25s worth of light in beautiful Brentwood, TN. And I’m going to celebrate it by squeezing everything I can out of this long day.

    daylight summer solstice

    But as I try to curb my enthusiasm, I understand that not everyone feels the same about it. While I’ll be up at 4:30 so that by 5:00 I can be running the neighborhood before hitting the gym at 6 and getting to work by 8 a.m., some are dreading the long day.

    I don’t know where you are on this one, but however difficult yesterday might have been today is a new day. Much like golf, which I hope to find a way to play later on, where each hole is a new beginning, each day is an opportunity to start fresh. Sure our problems, challenges and difficulties don’t vanish overnight, but a new day brings along with it hope. Nothing seems more hopeful to a Brazilian than a very long sunny summer day.

    Whether you have given any thought to the summer solstice or not,  I’d like for you to think of all the great things you can accomplish with the extra daylight today and join me in a celebration of the gift of hope this day brings.

    What are you going to do with the extra daylight?

  • Overqualified and Underpaid: Your Career Detour

    So you’re doing a job you are over qualified for. That’s not that uncommon these days.  I have friends who are working in positions they had mastered several years back. They have more education, experience, skill and knowledge than the job requires, and yet, they find themselves performing tasks that those whom worked for them used to do. Whether you are in this situation because of a life transition, a re-entry into the work force or a corporate restructure, you might be tempted to be frustrated and even disillusioned. Before you get too discouraged consider:

    detour

    You are not defined by what you do. For most guys this is easier said than done. We often have too much of our identity tied up in our careers. I know I do.  I often need to be reminded that who I am as a person is much more important than what I do as a professional.

    Strong performance gets rewarded. Starting over is not fun because there’s no challenge in doing something you’ve done before, but it also allows you not to make some of the same mistakes and to move faster through familiar territory. Performers get noticed and rewarded. Do a good job and soon you’ll be back at the varsity team.

    There’s purpose and meaning even in life’s detours. Some of my greatest professional and personal accomplishments have come from the seemingly disastrous. I would have not started The A Group without being asked to leave a business I helped start and that owed me a lot of money I never saw. Sometimes the detour is a blessing in disguise. I know that’s not much consolation while you’re in the early days of the detour, but if you stick with it long enough, you’ll be able to see the positive in it.

    Are you, or have you been in a career detour situation?

  • Reading to Rest the Mind

    Today I did something I have not done in a long time.

    I read fiction.

    I read fiction that I didn’t have to read.

    I read fiction that was not a client’s submission or a potential author I’m considering representing.

    I didn’t skim the book. I read every word.

    beach 2011

    I purposely put aside all the other reading I “have” to get done on vacation and got lost in a story under an umbrella on the beach. I had no idea how much I needed to rest my mind from going into so many different directions, even if was just for a few hours.

    When did you last take time to read a novel? When was the last time you got lost in a story?

    If you had asked me that a few days ago, I would not have known how to answer it. I hope you don’t take as long as I did to rest your mind on a good story.