Maurilio Amorim

Category: personal growth

  • Lies We Believe: You Always Need 100% Effort

    Assumptions don’t always work out for me.  Well, I could sanitize the word a bit and call it a “myth” or an “erroneous supposition,” but at their core, these are lies that I have treated as facts. Some are as innocuous as “if I train hard I can be a competitive runner.” Well, If I train harder, I could potentially be faster than I am now, but I’ll never be a 5-minute-mile elite athlete. But then there are lies that can derail your entire life. One of them has cost me a lot of pain until I came to grips with it. Somehow early on my childhood I believed that if I couldn’t be the best in doing something, than I shouldn’t even try doing it. If I couldn’t do it at a 100 percent, than I would do nothing at all.

    Lies we believe 100 percent effor Maurilio Amorim

    That sounds like crazy talk, doesn’t it? After all we all know that we can’t be the best at everything. Truth be known, we can only be good at very few things. “You’re a perfectionist,” you might diagnose me, but I was convinced from an early age that I was expected to excel in everything I did. I can recall even to this day many activities and opportunities I missed out on because the threat of not mastering them kept me from even trying.

    But I have a hunch I’m not alone on this one. I see people who “lapse” during a diet and then they just give up completely: “since I ate that pizza I went ahead and order the brownie and ice cream.” In their minds, once they “blow it” then all the effort is wasted and the opportunity is gone; one slip up and you’re out of the race.  I have known people to make pledges to church financial campaigns and not be able to fulfill their pledges. Instead of giving what they can, they decide not to give at all. If they cannot do it at 100 percent, they don’t do it at all.

    We all know that we’d be better off with 70 percent effort in our pursuit of health meals than nothing. We should reason that our church could benefit from 50 percent fulfillment of our pledges than our not giving at all. While I’m not advocating laziness, sloppiness and poor work ethic, but I’m certain that sometimes even the little we have offer is more than sufficient.

    Somehow we have distorted the fact that doing our best and being THE best is the same thing. It’s not. The first is our responsibility, the latter a big fat lie.

    Is there an area of your life you’re not willing to tackle because you’re afraid of failing?

    What if just 30% worth of success was enough to make a difference? Would you try it then?

  • Sometimes You Need Off the Bubble

    Recently, I have been thinking about the bubble I live in. It’s a very homogeneous existence where I associate mostly with middle age people who look, think and act like me. If I’m not careful, I can find myself trapped in conversation about our latest aches and pains and a boil that needs lancing. Lately I have challenged myself to go beyond my natural “habitat” and discover someone else’s perspective. Life is so much fuller when you get off your bubble.

    I have intentionally spent time with young professionals lately and I have truly enjoyed their perspective. One thing that has stood out and resonated with me is what I call the “power of perspective,” or the ability to dream and to believe that such vision can and will come true. I love engaging 20-somethings and watching them approach their careers full of optimism.  Life has not beaten them down yet and they have not exchanged eagerness, passion and energy for cynicism, doubt, and fear.

    For some, this young generation is a threat or trouble, at best. Not for me. Being around them energizes me to the point of dusting off dreams I have put up in the attic and getting ready begin to purse them anew. After hanging out with the young, I believe the best is yet to come.

    What’s your bubble?

    How are you breaking away?

  • Self Discipline Is Not Enough: How I Get My Butt Out of Bed at 4 AM

    If you follow me on Twitter or somewhere else in social media, you might have noticed my early morning posts, usually between 4 to 5 a.m. about going on a run or hitting the gym for a workout. There’s always a comment from someone saying “I don’t know how you do this. You must have a lot of self-discipline.” The truth is that I have some self-discipline, but what I have most is a built-in system of accountability and expectations.

    Maurilio Amorim Tammy Gray John Frazinelli Karen McCuctheon
    Running Friends: Tammy Gray, John Frassinelli, and Karen McCutcheon

    Left on my own, I can justify staying in bed every morning and postponing my workouts until later in the day. But with my busy agenda at work, heavy travel schedule and family responsibilities, I know that if I don’t exercise early in the morning, I won’t do it at all. Most days getting out of bed at 4:30 for a run in the dark is 10% inspiration and 90% accountability.

    Over the past few years I have developed strategic relationships to keep me accountable to 1. show up and 2. push myself beyond my comfort zone. Not only some of these people have become great friends, they have inspired and trained me into becoming a better long-distance runner, and a stronger, overall healthier person. All of it without spending a dime on personal training.

    Maybe Hillary Clinton was right, and it does take a village to raise a child, and, I might add, keep us accountable.

    What part of your life needs more accountability than self discipline?

    What are you going to do about i?

  • All You Need Is a Little Inspiration

    When we find ourselves in a difficult place in life seems like one of two things happen: we either give up and accept the situation making the most out of it with the fatalistic “it is what it is” attitude, or we decide to fight, crawl, push, and shove our way out, however difficult that might be. Yesterday I saw this video for the first time, and I cried like a baby watching it. I have seen it several times since, and every time it still moves me. Ben’s story resonates with my own. Do yourself a favor and take a few minutes to watch it:

    While I was never as big as Ben, I was on the same path and one day decided to do something about my health and so I went for a run. Since then I have done several races, a marathon and a triathlon. If Ben can do it, if I can do it, so can you.

    If you’re struggling with your health or your weight, let me encourage you to tie your running shoes on and take a first step into your new life. I’ve never regretted it. I know you won’t.

    What area of your health or fitness you’re thinking about taking to the next level?

  • Confessions of a Lousy Father

    I got a called from Gwen this afternoon. We had our first teenage car accident. Our 15-year-old son had just backed up his mom’s Infinity SUV into a neighbor’s mailbox crushing the truck’s bumper and destroying the mailbox on his first attempt at driving after getting his permit on Friday. “We just spent two thousand dollars on body work this summer! How are we going to make him pay for the damages? ” were the first words out of my mouth. I was furious and my main concern was with the cost of fixing the car and the mailbox. It wasn’t until later, much later, that I thought about my son, his feelings and the trauma he might be facing. Now as I reflect on today’s event, I so wish I had reacted differently.

    Even after all the years of reading the Bible, listening to numerous messages, reflecting, praying and “growing” as a person, I still find myself reacting in ways that I hoped I would not. Today is an example of the less-than-altruistic person who shows up from time to time in my life. I know him well. He’s selfish, judgmental, and unforgiving; the antitheses of the Jesus whom I’ve pledge to emulate. As I drove home tonight, I kept thinking about my upcoming conversation with Marcus. What can I teach him? How can this be a teachable moment for him?

    But I realized that I needed this teachable moment more than he did. It will be a while before the boy’s nerves will allow him to  drive again, and he’s upset enough to the point he doesn’t need a lecture on his driving skills. I, however, had to face my own inner demons and come to grips with the fact when I had a chance to be the person I wish I were, I failed. Instead of being a gracious and loving dad, I reacted like a lousy and selfish father.

    Why share this weakness publicly on my blog? I’m not sure I should, but if by exposing the side of me I’m not proud of, will hold me accountable to change it, than maybe it’s worth the embarrassment. For me it’s more important to be authentic than to create an image of authenticity.

    Thank you for letting me indulge in this post.

    Those of you who are parents, have you ever feel like a parenting failure? If so, where have you found help?

  • Stupid Stuff I Can’t Believe I Said

    Words are a powerful and interesting things. With words we build people up or tear down friendships. They are used to bless as well as to curse. I’m a communication professional. I’m deeply flawed and to make matters more complicated,  I’m also Brazilian. Brazilians are often fun, but we’re also blunt in ways that make southerners blush. Over the years I have tried not only to adapt to my new adopted country, but also temper my not-so-subtle foreign ways.  I have not always succeeded.

    stupid stuff I can't believe I said Maurilio

    Here’s some memorable exchanges I wish I could have taken back:

    “I have the best hair money can buy” jokingly to a gentleman at a church I was interning as he commented on how much he liked my hair. I didn’t realize he was wearing a toupee. (it was a good one, after all)

    “When are you due?” To my non-pregnant waitress at Cancun restaurant. Twice.

    “I meant to tell you before, but you’re actually an adopted monkey we got from the zoo” to my 5-year-old son Marcus as he ran screaming, “MOM is it true?”

    “Your grandfather is a hoot” to my college roommate only to find out it was his grandmother I had just met.

    “I’m not sure what kind of mirror you have, but I’m sure you didn’t see in it what I’m seeing.” to a friend who had a fashion meltdown.

    “Come with me little girl! You can sit on my lap” to a 28-year old midget woman sitting in a church service as I invited her to join me at the children’s story time.

    “Haven’t they suffered enough?” to a friend after she told me she was signing up to take food for the Nashville flood victims.

    “Sorry,but  it looked better on the hanger than it does on you.” To my young wife after bringing home a dress I bought her as a gift.  Twenty years later and I’m still paying for it.

    I’m glad for forgiveness, second chances and life lessons. But the truth is I can’t ever take those words back. Today I self edit a lot more than ever before, but to people who know me well, it’s not quite enough. My hope is that the majority of comes out of my mouth will be used for building up, instead of tearing down.

    Now it’s your turn. What have you said that you wish you could take back?