Expectations can help you grow. Unreasonable expectations will only frustrate all parties involved, however. My college organ teacher, (yes, I played the organ during college) Mr. Shanko was a crusty, old, organ virtuoso whose expectations helped me become a much better organist. What I didn’t know, however, is that the law of expectation would carry over into other areas of my life. “If I accomplished so much more than I though I could in this arena, what other areas can I outperform my own expectations?” I eventually asked myself. So how can you help those around you succeed without creating unreasonable expectations for them? See what they cannot. Mr. Shanko saw a talent in me that I didn’t see. He affirmed it during our lessons together. “You’re very good. You could be great,” he used to say. I though the organ was cool because I could make sounds with my…

I ran into this video on my friend Jeff Holton’s Facebook wall. It spoke to me deeply. I hope it will speak to you as well. Have you ever been moved to quit your job and follow your heart?

It’s no secret that men wear watches as a fashion. Ok so watches tell time as well, but for centuries, a man’s watch says more about his personality and fashion sense than most any other accessory. Yes, accessory, deal with it. So what does your watch say about you? Here’s a quick guide to men’s watches and their meaning. Timex: you’re practical and no-nonsense kind of guy. For you, it’s your fashionable non-fashion statement. I’m not pretentious like those jerks who wear expensive watches and  the money I saved on not buying an expensive watch I made an extra mortgage payment on my house. Do you know you can pay your house off in half the time you if many an extra payment a year? Sports watch: I’m a competitor. After I leave this meeting, I’m going a mile swim, 20 miles bike ride and then run a 10k. If…

Every interaction you have with a potential client is critical if you want to establish a good relationship and eventually get the account. I firmly believe that you should value your input and expertise and charge for it adequately (I have blogged about it here.) However, I also believe that with each exchange with a promising new account you should find a way to add value in a way that cements in the other person’s mind the need for your services. Here’ s how I do it. I listen to their story. No matter what field of work you are in, people do business with other people and not just faceless entities. In order to be able to offer help, you need to know what’s important to the person you’re talking to, not only what’s needed in his or her business. These are often two different things. Sometimes you have…

I had to be taught to be gracious. That’s a quality that doesn’t come by naturally to me as I suspect to most guys. After all, our male instinct is to win, get “there” first, hold on tight to what’s ours, fight our way to the top and not to take grief from anyone. Early in life I saw my mother model grace as she gave so much of herself, and of her amazing cooking skills, to family and friends. I have my wife, Gwen, to thank for modeling grace in her relationships and how she deals with people. Interestingly, graciousness has as much to do with giving as it does with receiving. Are you a gracious person? Answer the following questions honestly. Do you have to win every argument? Are you able to receive gifts and compliments well? Do you give expecting something in return? Even gratitude? How often…

I’m fortunate to have an amazing group of talented and committed people working at The A Group. It’s truly a dream team. And with each new hire, the stakes seem to be getting higher. I like that. Talent, attracts talent and elevates the game for everyone. I have written about the 3Cs we screen in hiring: competence, character and chemistry. But beyond that I’m always on the look out for qualities that will make a great addition to our team. Raw talent. Nothing is more exciting than to find someone who has a natural ability in their area of expertise. No matter their area of work inside our organization–designers, programmers, video producers, account managers, or sales–talented people are given the tools and the opportunity to do their best work. I’m convinced you can help a talented person grow and flourish, but without it, no amount of coaching and tools can…

I recently attended a fundraiser where the opening video was so poorly produced that instead of help the cause, I believe it actually hurt it. The excuse was a familiar one, “it’s about the stories and not the production,” was the reply to my text on how bad the video was. The truth is that because of the poor production, great stories were reduced to bad stories that made no sense.  A bad video will undermine an event and the professionalism and competence of any organization and its leaders. Whether you’re using a volunteer, a staff member or even a paid professional, here’s what to look for in a fund raising video: Is this image clear enough to look good on a projection screen? You’d be surprised how poorly produced videos that look OK on computer monitors translate terribly to a projection screen. If a video looks grainy and dark…

I remember wearing penny loafers with no socks sometime in the late 80’s. J.Crew. is bringing that look back and has added a new twist: the folded cuff to both jeans and khakis. While this style is not for every one, it can be a playful and somewhat dressy with some even folding their suit pant. One interesting trend that’s coming back along with the folded cuff is the higher hem with no break at the shoe line, or “high waters” if you prefer. Take a look: Guys what do you think? Would you feel comfortable wearing cuffed khakis with no socks? Ladies, do you think your man would wear this look?

This is not an educational, inspirational, or leadership post. This is a confessional note, and I’m not proud it. Sometimes you have days where there’s not much left of your brains, patience or both at the end of a long haul. Yesterday was that day for me. I got home and by the time I took the boys out for a “guys dinner out,” I had nothing left for them. Our dinner was, for all practical reasons, a non event. I was tired of thinking and talking so I just sat there like a lump on a log and watched the boys eat their dinner. There was no teaching moment, no funny stories, not even an argument from me. I was barely there; as a matter of fact, I was not there at all. I’d rather write about all the life lessons I get right and the good things that…

“You are a very hard person to buy for. You have everything you need,” said a good friend looking at me as to say, “you’re spoiled.” Well, he’s right. I have everything I need. As a matter of fact I would go even one step further to say I have most things I want. Yes, I’m spoiled. While I don’t consider myself financially wealthy, I should since, by the world’s standards, most of us living in America would be labeled “rich.” So the question of the hour turned into a simple and yet practical one: What do you give someone who has everything? While the discussion was general in nature, it was clearly addressed at me. The more narrow translation would be “Maurilio, what can anyone give you that you either don’t have or wouldn’t go out and buy it for yourself if you wanted it?” So I thought for…