Maurilio Amorim

Author: Maurilio Amorim

  • Is Your Body Language Betraying You?

    A lot of our communication is non verbal. Body language, mood, appearance all contribute to the way we communicate. Whether we are interviewing for a job, negotiating a contract, or counseling a friend, our body language can speak louder than our words. Over the years, I have become conscientious of my body language specially during intense, meaningful exchanges. Most people are intentional about their appearance, but I find that a lot of people are not aware of their body language. Here’s a few things to consider:

    Communicating Without Words: What Your Body Language is Saying

    Make eye contact. I know that sounds obvious. But I talk with people who cannot make consistent eye contact during an important conversation. That comes across to most people as a sign of  untruth, such as a hidden agenda or worse, a lie. If you can’t look me in the eye, chances are I’m not going to believe you.

    Uncross your arms and legs. When you keep your arms and sometimes both arms and legs crossed your body language says, “no.” Your mouth might be agreeing verbally but your body language says “I’m not open to this idea or where this conversation is going.”

    Lean towards your subject. When I want to emphasize a point or re-engage the other person deeper in the conversation, I lean towards them and make sure I make eye contact before I speak. At this point my body language says “this is very important, please listen.”

    Smile. There’s nothing better than a smile to make someone feel at home. Smiling during a difficult conversation can break the tension. Smiles are particularly helpful when you disagree with someone. Saying “no” with a smile on your face lets the other person know that while you are not willing to accept their proposition, you’re not offended or upset. It keeps the dialog going.

    How do you use body language to communicate?

  • The 4 Relationships You Need to Succeed

    Success doesn’t happen in a vacuum. It happens in the context of relationships. I don’t believe there are any self-made people. Along the way, successful people intersected with those whom saw glimpses of potential and helped them to discover, nurture and deploy the skills that eventually got them where they are. I know that’s how it happened with me. While the definition of “success” varies wildly, I consider myself successful: I have a strong faith, a great family, a viable business, and friends the world over. But I didn’t get here on my own for sure. There’s no way I could name on this post those who have made a difference in my life. But they fit 4 different relationship roles that have helped me succeed.

    The coach. These are the teachers, coaches, trainers who believe in my abilities when I didn’t even believe myself. I remembered I teacher in college giving me a paper back without a grade. She looked me in the eyes and said “you’re so much better than this. Rewrite it.” I never had to rewrite another paper from then on, including 2 years of graduate school.

    The mentor. Some things only experience can teach you, and mentors can help us not to learn the hard way. These relationships are difficult sometimes to establish but vital to personal growth. My first year in ministry I watched my boss, the Senior Pastor, take a verbal beating from an older church member because we did not arrive at the hospital before his wife went into surgery. The man was out of line and as I got ready to say something, Ron waved me away. Within seconds, the gentleman broke down, cried and apologized. I learned so much about human nature that day.

    The sage. I desperately need wisdom. The Bible has so much to say about the importance of wisdom in our lives. Sometimes the words of the sage are not what I want to hear but they are life-saving. Once I was enthralled by a “big” business opportunity and was ready to pull the trigger. A sage told me to walk away.  I didn’t want to. I was going to make a ton of money. Reluctantly I did. Later, I found out, had I gone ahead I would have lost everything.  And I mean, everything.

    The friend. Friends love you just because; they believe the best about you and do life with you even when you’re separated by distance. I have been blessed to work, run, exercise, and play with people I truly love. I don’t think I could live without friends.

    Did I forget another type?

  • The Future of Advertising

    First the news, then the music industry, now advertising: the digital revolution is bringing down Madison Avenue like no other force has in the history of the Ad Agency. Some estimate that over 160,000 people have lost their jobs in the advertising industry in the past 2 years. I don’t think that’s the recession’s fault. Not completely anyway. The slow down in the economy just accelerated the demise of the old  advertising agency model, but the new ad world looks vastly different than the bloated budgets of the 30-second spot and national media buys. Here’s what I see happening:

    National spots will fade into individually customized pitch. Interestingly, I sent out a tweet this past weekend that showed my displeasure with the Audi/Jaguar/Porsche dealership in Nashville:

    A few hours later, I heard from a dealership. It wasn’t from the Audi/Jaguar/Porsche but from the local Cadillac twitter account, Crestgroup:

    I’m quite impressed with Crest’s ability to monitor “car noise” in the Nashville social media stream and to reach out to me with a very custom and effective message.

    The advertising agency of the future will become a technology agency. Technology is no longer something we use. It’s now a part of who we are. Have you been in a mall lately? Have you seen the hoards of young and old walking and typing on their mobile devices? My iPhone was stolen and for the few hours I didn’t have it, my life was upside down. I wrote about it here. Communication and technology are so closely woven that the Ad Agency of the future cannot afford to develop marketing strategies without developing technology alongside it.

    Product, messaging and advertising will be a collaborative process. Instead of the current silo approach where a team develops the product, another positions it and someone else  promotes it without much interactivity–if any at all, a successful product launch will be a multi-discipline effort.  A team of creatives, developers, brand managers, social media specialists, will work together from the inception of the project and input from marketing will help product development from day one. Instead of clients showing up with a product ready to go to market and saying, “here it is; now sell it,” the agency of the future will not only help sell, but often design and deploy new ideas. They will be at the table from ideation to launch.

    How has advertising changed in your experience?

  • Our Choices, Not Resolutions Matter the Most

    Most people start well. Most people don’t finish so well. Resolutions fail more than they succeed.  So as we look forward to all the promises and opportunities a new year brings us, we find ourselves out of the gate filled with hope that perhaps this is the year that changes everything. We hope for the break that will come our way, the call back from the right someone, the miraculous intervention from God. These are, after all, the key events in our future that could literally make our year. In my experience, however, it’s not the big break that will make the most difference at the end of the year, but the cumulative effect of everyday choices.

    Your choices Not Your Resolution will affect your life

    As we start this race toward the end of 2011 our decisions more than our resolutions will carry the day and eventually the year. So choose wisely.

    Choose God.

    Choose your family.

    Choose health.

    Choose to give of yourself.

    Choose to say no to immediate gratification so you can say yes to a better future.

    Choose to grow.

    Choose to live well.

    Choose to believe you’re worth it.

    Choose your friends.

    Choose joy.

    Choose to love.

    What’s the first choice you have to make today that will move you closer to where you want to go?

  • Men’s Fashion Trends for 2011

    For the last Fashion Friday of 2010, we look forward to the trends in menswear for 2011, specifically what’s coming up for the Spring. A see a fee overarching trends that will carry into the new year among them the continuing reinvention of the 80’s fashions with argyle sweaters, skinny ties and the resurgence of the Member’s Only jackets. Linen, while it has never been out of style, I believe will make a stronger come back next summer. in 2011 we’ll see more pattern mixing for men and bold color accents in traditional gray or navy suits. Here’s what top designers trends are showing for next season:

    2011 mens fashion trends
    Armani pairs up a slim cut gray suit with bold accent collor, even down to the yellow shoe. Yep.
    Dolce and Gabbana brings back linen mixing whites and tans. Also the skinny tie is here to stay another season
    Prada is betting on bold colors and strong lines.
    Etro: It's ok to mix up patterns just make sure they're subdue so they don't strongly compete with each other

    John Varvatos has gray as a Spring color. Just make sure the fabric is appropriate for the season.

    In 2011 men’s clothing will still be cut slim and tight. That means it’s not a very forgiving look if you’re carrying on a few extra pounds. Designer clothing or not, remember that ill-fitting clothing will make even the most expensive items look bad on you. Personally I look forward to being more bold with accent colors as well as mixing patterns. While some of that makes me nervous, sometimes you just need to get out of  your comfort zone. Not long ago I looked at my closet and all I saw was black and white with a few hits of brown. Boring. I’m changing that in 2011.

    Any of these trends push your personal comfort envelop? If so which one?

  • My Top 10 Posts of 2010

    Some I saw coming but others I must say caught me by surprise. The top 10 posts of 2010 are interesting reflections of me: eclectic, serious, fun, and honest.  In August I changed platforms from Blogger into self-hosted WordPress, did a major face lift, and began posting every day. The results were significant: traffic jumped 10 times what it was earlier this year and commenting and interactivity also spiked. I have gotten to know some new friends who are stopping by on a regular basis, and I feel more a sense of community building with each post. These posts reflect reactions and thoughts of events, ideas and lessons I’m facing daily. I usually write them after a full day of meetings, ideas and conversations. There’s always a nugget of truth, a funny story or something that drives me crazy during my day that makes its way into a post. I hope you’re enjoying reading them as much as I am writing.

    top 10 blog posts 2010 Maurilio Amorim

    Hipster vs Polyester Christianity and the Cultural Trap This post was a response to Brett McCracken’s  book “Hipster Christianity” . It hit a nerve and it drove the highest daily traffic of any post.

    Looking Sharp in a Vest I started Fashion Friday as a joke. It has turned out one of the most widely read features. Who knew?

    Narcissism, Social Media, Christianity and Me Very introspective look at our motivation in social media.

    Fashion Friday Dilemma: Pleats or No Pleats? I had no idea pleats would be so popular and controversial. America is the last frontier for the pleated pants.

    What Social Media Will Never Do For You Even the best of tools have limitations. Social media fails when we try to miss use it.

    Really, Really Bad Church Signs The title says it all.

    Self Discipline Is Not Enough: How I Get My Butt Out of Bed at 4 AM People have asked how I’m up so early most mornings. I answer it in this post.

    Yet Another Reason Men Need Women As if we needed more reasons. Here’s another one.

    How Men Should Wear a Scarf It’s amazing how many men don’t know how to tie or wear a scarf. Wonder no more.

    Bad, Really Bad Church Signs, Part II If you liked Part I, you’ll love this one.

    What was your favorite post of 2010? Did it make the top 10?

  • Are You Addicted to Social Media?

    This is a very funny video parody on why social media will ruin your family.

    Are you or a family member at risk?

  • My White Tennessee Christmas

    Yesterday was my first white Christmas ever. It was a beautiful, quiet day at home with my family. I decided to put together a quick video of our Tennessee White Christmas. I hope you enjoy it.

    Here’s another format if you have trouble with seeing the YouTube video on your mobile device

    How was your Christmas?

  • Your Unexpected Christmas Blessing

    I’m blessed. In the next few days my home will be filled with family, friends, cats and dogs coming together to celebrate Christmas. For some that many people in a house is a recipe for a fight waiting to break out, but for me it’s a true blessing. But I remember in years’ past not being able to be with family for the holidays. What kept me from being completely depressed was the love of friends who opened their home and took me in as one of their own.

    Who really needs your at Christmas

    While we are all running around looking for those last-minute gifts, baking goodies, and preparing for the big Christmas dinner, we can easily bypass those who might be near us without a place to be on Christmas day. I can barely keep up with my own family, their children and pets much less think about someone off my radar. But that’s the person who might need me the most.

    There’s no big wisdom to impart in this post, no big revelation, no saucy confession. I just want to be the voice of the quiet and lonely person next to you who might never speak for himself or herself, but who desperately wants a place to belong this Christmas. I was once that person. I know how it feels. Someone reached out to me and took me in.

    Take a deep breath and disengage from the Christmas craziness long enough to find the person who needs to be part of your Christmas. It might be your best Christmas gift ever. I know it was for me.

    How do you feel about inviting someone you barely know to celebrate Christmas at your home?

  • A Giving Perspective

    Ti’s the season for giving. There’s no question about it. My good friend  Sal Sberna raised 1.4 million at last weekend’s mission offering at his 4,000-member church in Houston, TX.  A lot of non profits depend on  December’s giving in order to survive the rest of the year. But no matter how often we give, there’s always the nagging question that seem to pop in the back of our minds: what if they misuse my money? What if instead of missions, my money goes to buy the pastor a new boat? Should the risk of my money being misused stop me from giving? The answer is a resounding “NO.”

    Giving perspective Maurilio Amorim

    Most of us know not to give to churches, ministries or solicitors that are not familiar to us. At least I hope you don’t. Unfortunately, there are too many shysters who pray on gracious people, specially the elderly.  But if you’re not sure, take some time and check the charity out. Make sure they are an IRS recognized non profit (501 c3 status). But even the right credentials, longevity, and assurances are not enough to full-proof your gift.

    Over the years I have developed a simple mindset for giving. No matter the size of the gift, my donation is to God first and foremost. Whether I’m giving to my church, to a ministry or to a stranger holding up a sign on the side of the road, I’m ultimately giving my money to God. The issue then, is not what people are going to do with my money; it becomes how they are going to use God’s resources. Once I give developed this mindset, I no longer worry or have the urge to follow the homeless man around to find out if he’s buying food or booze with my gift. Wherever the money goes is now God’s problem, not mine.

    Have you ever given reluctantly to a cause?