Posts Tagged ‘relationships’



The Art of Saying Goodbye: Leaving Without Regrets

When I left Brazil for the life I now have I didn’t leave well. In wanting to hold on to my fond memories, I decided not to say goodbye to anyone. After all, what would a “high dose of sentimentality accomplish anyway,”  I reasoned.  So I walked out of the only life I had ever known without much ado. It’s been decades since that time. I have never stop regretting it. There’s an art to saying goodbye.  Whether you’re walking away from a job, a relationship or moving away, there are a few things you should consider. I wish I had thought about them long ago: Celebrate the good times. Even if leaving was not your idea, or you’re finally able to walk away from a bad situation, or you’ve had enough from your jerk of a boss, take inventory and celebrate what you can. Most relationship, (and yes, work…

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Reverse Mentoring

When was the last time you learned something from someone younger than you…much younger? The idea of youth learning from the aged and wiser has been around forever, but I often think of the lessons that those who are younger than I can teach me. Besides helping the elderly figure out technology, young people have something to offer that is uniquely theirs: perspective. As a communicator and someone who leads a team into the uncharted waters of tomorrow, I need perspective. I often seek council of those whose knowledge base is broader and deeper than my own. And more times than not, these individuals are accomplished professionals on the top of their careers–men and women whose life experience and knowledge have grown with their age. But when my job is to communicate across cultures, demographics, and psychographics, my focus must turn to those in my target audience. In times like…

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A New Beginning Might Be What You Need

Starting a new chapter in life is one of the most exciting things to me; it presents new professional possibilities, new friendships and a way to a fresh start. Too often some of our past broken relationships and mistakes have a way of following us around like the proverbial dead albatross on our necks. A new beginning allows us to take the lessons we’ve learned with us and leave the dead albatross behind. While most of us are not likely to relocate and start a new life anytime soon, we’ll probably meet and engage someone today for the first time. That can be just the new beginning you and I need. The longer I live the more I’m convinced that the most important assets I have are relationships. As I look in my life, the most rewarding days have been the ones shared with those whom I love. We don’t…

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The 5 Average: What Impact Your Closest Friends Have

Someone said you are the average of the 5 people closest to you in every area of your life. That thought has stayed with me for a long time. Could it be true? Think about the 5 people whom you are the closest at this point in life. Where are you financially, physically, spiritually in relation to them?  We grew up hearing about the dangers of peer pressure and not getting “mixed up with the wrong crowd.” People have a way to affect us negatively as well as positively, and in my experience, no relationship is strictly one way. Not for long, anyway. So we influence those around us as much as they influence us. For the sake of this mental exercise, let’s then assume we ARE the average of the five people closest to us. What are the implications not only for where we are currently in our life…

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The Rule of Five

“You are the average of the five people closest to you.” I have been thinking about this statement for several years now. The more I analyze it, the more it seems to ring true, even though I cannot prove it.  If it’s true, those closest to us have a tremendous influence in our total well being. They impact us: professionally financially spiritually physically How do you feel about the idea that you are the average of the five people closest to you?

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Partners, Lovers & Investors You Should Avoid Like the Plague

The best way to get out of a bad situation is by never getting into one in the first place. I have been fortunate to have avoided some very bad relationships over the years. These have been both personal (crazy girlfriend) as well as professional (bad business partner). In retrospect, there were signs along the way that have helped me walk away before it was too late. Here are the types of people you should avoid like the plague. The Jerk. I remember having dinner with a potential business partner. He was trying hard to court me by having dinner at a very expensive restaurant. Our server made a mistake with this man’s appetizer. Suddenly, the cordial and fun individual sitting across from me turned into a tyrant, throwing a hissy fit over lettuce instead of spinach. The poor waiter apologized profusely and remedied the situation almost immediately. But that…

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Before You Walk Away

I’m glad I didn’t give up on the relationship. I was disappointed and thought that it was time to sever ties. But I didn’t. And I have not regretted my decision.  Have you ever given up on a friend, a coworker, a client? If you are like me chances are you have. So before you let a relationship “go” consider: Find a proper time and place to let them know how you feel. You should not “let them have it” when you’re upset or in the middle of a bad day. Sometimes your bad day gets folded into the emotion of the discussion. No matter the response, promise yourself you will not react–only listen. During a difficult conversation I am more interested in getting my point across than listening. Reflect on the conversation and try to put yourself in their shoes. Examine your motives. Why are you really upset? (This…

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How I keep Up with Friends and Clients With a Crazy Schedule

“I’m too busy to keep up with my friends. I just don’t have time to engage people like I want to.” I hear these words quite often these days. We are busy and some of us have families, jobs, and even school to deal with on a daily basis. Who has time to pursue or maintain any more relationships? While I’m sympathetic to such a reality, I also know that the best life has to offer, including business, is usually found in the context of relationships. I have found that using 3 simple tools has given me the chance to keep up with key relationships, some even in different continents. Text messaging. Text messages are the fastest, most dynamic way to reach someone. It’s instant and designed to be succinct. Most smart phones will accept pictures and video as well. I even use text to communicate with a group of…

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How Strategic Are Your Friendships?

It sounds self serving, but should our friendships be strategic? Somehow the words friendship and strategy should never appear together, right? Before you dismiss the concept altogether, consider that a strategy is an intentional pursuit of a goal. I have key strategic friendships in my life. These are not self-serving, one-way relationships. That’s not a friendship. But relationships that are two-way conversations. They are shared story lines that intercept in time and create a common narratives for two people. I have strategic friendships because I need the perspective, input and companionship of friends who help me grow in the areas I’m most deficient. However, I pray that I can give more to my friend than what I get from them. I have friends who challenge and guide me spiritually. I can always count on them to probe deeper and hold me accountable to my personal spiritual growth. I have friends…

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The Art of Giving Bad News

No one likes to receive bad news. But being the bearer of bad news is not much fun either. Seems like the past few weeks I have found myself delivering the kind of messages I wish someone else would do. I want to deliver happiness, fat checks, and great looking food. But there are times we all need to  “suck it up,” and give people news that will disappoint, hurt and even devastate. So how do you do that well? I’m not sure I’m doing it well, but as I thought about the circumstances I’ve been lately, I tried to put myself in the other person’s shoes. If someone is going to give me bad news, how would I like for it be done? Here are some thoughts: Be kind. Difficult conversations are painful by nature. So there’s no need to make them any more hurtful. Tell me the bad…

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