Before You Walk Away


I’m glad I didn’t give up on the relationship. I was disappointed and thought that it was time to sever ties. But I didn’t. And I have not regretted my decision.  Have you ever given up on a friend, a coworker, a client? If you are like me chances are you have. So before you let a relationship “go” consider:

Don't walk away from a relationship

Find a proper time and place to let them know how you feel. You should not “let them have it” when you’re upset or in the middle of a bad day. Sometimes your bad day gets folded into the emotion of the discussion.

No matter the response, promise yourself you will not react–only listen. During a difficult conversation I am more interested in getting my point across than listening.

Reflect on the conversation and try to put yourself in their shoes.

Examine your motives. Why are you really upset? (This one usually gets me) I tend to justify my personal hangups on the crucible of business and reason.

What’s your part in it? I remember hearing a friend say this years ago: there’s his side, her side and the truth.

How would Jesus handle this? I know this sounds trite, but for the Christian that’s our example and guide through life. Jesus is our model for living.

What else would you ad to this list?

  • This is a really strong post, thank you. I love the…their side, your side and the truth. The only thing I would add to this is to have a teachable spirit. Many times in life we have blinders on and WE could be the cause of relationship atrophy.

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  • I find that I need a “cool down” time to back out of the emotions and let me think through what is really happening (the motives, situation, what is emotion and what is true). When I respond right away, it can turn ugly. But when I give myself that day or two to process my feelings, I tend to respond differently.

    • It’s difficult to get the emotions out of it because most of these issues are emotional ones.

      • That’s why I need a cool down time. The emotions are definitely still there, just not as overwhelming as when the situation first happens.

  • Thanks for sharing. Finding the proper time is what gets me.

  • David

    “What’s your part in it?” essentially comes down to owning whats yours. I’ve found when I find my part and begin the conversation with owning what’s mine and admitting fault, two things happen 1) a spirit of humility is fostered within me 2) the other person trusts will I own my mistakes and is more likely to feel safe to own their own. Great post and simple insight, but has profound implications for our world today. Love Wins.

    • Yes, David, love wins. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

  • Superflydaddy

    What if it’s a one sided relationship? What if you put so much effort into one, but the result is nothing but negative feedback..then what? I believe in not cutting off a relationship to soon, but I don’t believe in just being in misery either. Sometimes you just have to shake the dust off of your feet & move on before it turns real bad. Admitting fault is easy, but let’s be real and admit that it does happen and there are times when it happens for a specific purpose. Good post.

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