Maurilio Amorim

Author: Maurilio Amorim

How I keep Up with Friends and Clients With a Crazy Schedule

“I’m too busy to keep up with my friends. I just don’t have time to engage people like I want to.” I hear these words quite often these days. We are busy and some of us have families, jobs, and even school to deal with on a daily basis. Who has time to pursue or maintain any more relationships? While I’m sympathetic to such a reality, I also know that the best life has to offer, including business, is usually found in the context of relationships. I have found that using 3 simple tools has given me the chance to keep up with key relationships, some even in different continents.

Text messaging. Text messages are the fastest, most dynamic way to reach someone. It’s instant and designed to be succinct. Most smart phones will accept pictures and video as well. I even use text to communicate with a group of friends if it’s appropriate. Texting has become my primary for of communication with those who are closest to me, both friends as well as clients.

Twitter. Amazingly, there’s a lot of personal communication that happens through the Twitter DM feature (direct message). Some of my friends and clients DM me about all types of subjects. They range from business ideas and questions to goofy humor or color commentary. A note of caution about DM: if you forget to put the letter “D” before someone’s twitter name, that message will go out to your entire network. I have seen embarrassing and inappropriate comments in the mainstream that were meant as DMs.

Facebook. It’s true that you can get “sucked in” Facebook and blow hours of productivity reading through people’s post and commenting on them. However, I have found that I spend a few minutes a day going through my stream and using the “like” button, I can still be involved in my friends’ lives without spending a lot of time. Every time you click the “Like” button, your friend is notified and your face and name appear before them. It’s a great way to say, “I’m here and I’m keeping up with you.”

How do you find time for your important relationships?

February 14, 2011
How Strategic Are Your Friendships?

It sounds self serving, but should our friendships be strategic? Somehow the words friendship and strategy should never appear together, right? Before you dismiss the concept altogether, consider that a strategy is an intentional pursuit of a goal. I have key strategic friendships in my life. These are not self-serving, one-way relationships. That’s not a friendship. But relationships that are two-way conversations. They are shared story lines that intercept in time and create a common narratives for two people. I have strategic friendships because I need the perspective, input and companionship of friends who help me grow in the areas I’m most deficient. However, I pray that I can give more to my friend than what I get from them.

I have friends who challenge and guide me spiritually. I can always count on them to probe deeper and hold me accountable to my personal spiritual growth.

I have friends who stimulate me professionally. I love learning from people who have a mind for business and are doing well.

I have friends who push me physically. Fitness is a big part of my daily routine. I run, cycle, lift weights and my athlete friends keep me accountable. I wrote more about them here.

I have friends who share with me a difference perspective in life. The older I get the more I tend to live in a bubble. And my bubble seems to get smaller every day. I have friends outside my demographic and psychographic bubble. They are in different stages of life than me and their world view helps me see life through their eyes.

I have strategic friendships who are outside the faith. It’s difficult for me to be “salt and light” and only associate with believers. While I pray that they’ll have an life-changing encounter with God, I never minimize the importance of our relationship. These are good friends.

How strategic are you about your friendships? Have you ever gone out of your way to befriend someone?

February 10, 2011
What Does the Ideal Board Member Look Like?

Board meetings can be either energizing or draining. The difference between the two lies whether the board is helping to fuel growth or managing decline. Those are two completely difference meetings; trust me, I’ve sat through both. However, good board meetings are mostly the function of choosing good board members. While that sounds so obvious, it’s harder than you think. I’ve suffered through many a bad, boring or contentious meeting because people in the room were poor choices for leaders. Here’s what I believe are the characteristics of a good board member:

Understands the vision of the organization

Is involved in the organization beyond board meetings.

Empowers the leadership to do their jobs well

Is an advocate of the staff

Contributes financially (non-profits and churches)

Creates opportunities

Recruits

Protects the vision and the staff

Brings fresh perspective

Too often people sitting on boards think their job is to second guess and question everything that’s presented to them. If you’re having to do a lot of that type of work, you should fire the leadership and get competent people in their place. A good board should be thinking of ways to continue to resource, build tracks and fund new initiatives. In other words, a good board should be opening new territory not reviewing every old decision.

What’s your best or worst board meeting experience?

February 9, 2011
Signs It’s Time to Fire an Employee

Firing people is never easy. I remember having to fire an employee a few weeks into my very first job. I was 20; he was 42. It was the right thing to do even though I felt sick to my stomach before, during and after the ordeal. Since then I have had to fire friends, foes and everything in between. I have even dismissed volunteers (yes, and that’s a subject for another post). But as I have matured over the years, I have come to the realization that sometimes letting someone go from a position they are ill-suited for is the best thing not only for the organization but for that person as well. While firing an employee is always a complex and often difficult process, there are signs that should help you decide that it is time to pull the trigger.

These are some of the indicators I look for that tell me it might be time for a team member to go:

You have lost trust in them.

They have lost faith in you.

They cannot or will not perform to agreed expectations.

They are trapped in a cycle where performance gets better after a bad review but deteriorates over time until the next review.

They cannot make the philosophical shift necessary to go with you to the next level.

They only reason they are still around is because you like them.

They do not agree with your direction or vision.

They are not loyal.

They rather be somewhere else.

You avoid being around them or giving them any new work.

Other team members wonder why they are still employed.

While this is not an exhaustive list, it has been a good indicator of an employee who is not in the right position or the right fit for the company. In my experience, prolonging someone departure hurts the organization, the entire team and ultimate the person who needs to move on.

What did I forget on my list?

February 8, 2011
Today’s Communicator Must also be a Sociologist

As a marketer and communicator, I’m always looking for trends. I have noticed that my 16 year-old son hasn’t asked me to buy him songs from iTunes in a while now. I know his appetite for music has not subsided and since his allowance has been, should I say, suspended, I know he hasn’t been buying any new tunes lately. Yesterday I asked him where he and his friends are getting their music. His answer surprised me: Youtube. Interestingly, Marcus’ generation is not interested in owning their music. They’re happy to stream it from anywhere they can. That’s a major shift from the millennials. While the marketing implications of how a generation behaves is important, the entire exchange reminded me that as a marketer and communicator I must also be a sociologist.

According to Wikipedia sociology is defined as:

The study of society.^[1] It is a social science—a term with which it is sometimes synonymous—which uses various methods of empirical investigation^[2] and critical analysis^[3] to develop and refine a body of knowledge about human social activity.

Being able to communicate effectively with any group of people means understanding not only their language, but their value system, motivations and behavior patterns. In America today we have several generations living together that are markedly different from each other: the frugal Builders, the spending Baby Boomers, the anti-establishment Gen Y, the cause-driven Millennials, and now the experiential Digital Natives.

Interestingly in any given Sunday morning, all 5 generational groups are likely to be sitting on a church pew. Much is written about the “language of culture.” I’m not sure that’s a valid statement any longer. I’m inclined to speak of the “languages of culture,” and I’m not speaking of English and Spanish here.

Micro fragmentation in messaging is here to stay. Marketers, communicators, and leaders must be aware of the audience–all of them–at any given time. Much like sociologists, communicators must be aware of their audience dynamics to still be relevant. Keeping up with 5 generational shifts beyond affinity groups is not easy, but must be done. I don’t think we have a choice in this matter. If we’re going to be effective in selling our ideas and products to an ever diversified culture, we must become better students of society.

What’s your take on the communicator as a sociologist?

February 7, 2011
My Prayer to Become a River

People go to church for all kinds of reason. Some go to see and be seen, others go to reunite with family and friends, still others go to find their place in a community, a place they can belong. But a large part of us go to church because we want to hear from God and want to worship in the context of a community of faith. And as I thought about the times I needed God the most in my life, I was reminded of how often He used the people in the pews to speak hope to me.

It’s hard for me not to think of all I want to get from God this morning as I attend church. I’m embarrassed to admit, but I mostly go to church with the expectation of being blessed. There’s nothing wrong with expecting God to show up and do something amazing in one’s life. However, I seldom think of how I can be the instrument God uses to do something amazing in someone else’s life.

So my prayer today is a bit different. Yes, I do want to hear from God and worship with my faith family at my church, but I also want to be open to be a blessing, to be an answer to someone else’s prayer. Today I pray I’ll be like a river that flows water through itself blessing those along its banks instead of a reservoir where water only flows in and does not flow out. I pray I become I conduit of God’s blessings instead of just taking it all in and hoarding His blessings.

What’s your prayer today?

February 6, 2011
The Skinny Tie is Back!

The skinny tie is back. The thin, streamlined tie was popular during the 50’s and 60’s then made a brief come back during the mid 80’s in the form of the knit or sock tie. However, it’s now back and I believe it’s here to stay for a while. Justin Timberlake has been sporting one for the past couple of years now.

The Rat Pack made the skinny tie famous

Even Dr. King don the skinny tie

The Beetles carried the skinny tie into the 60's

Hollywood has embraced the trend full force

You can wear it casually loose around the neck

Another popular look is the skinny tie and vest combination with an untuck shirt

What’s your take on the skinny tie?

February 4, 2011
How I Get My Creativity Back

Creativity is not just for people in the arts. Creative people come up with all kinds of solutions: from math problems, engineer dilemmas, financing options to book titles, video concepts and logo designs. Creatives make things happen when others can’t. I have made a career of helping my clients to think innovatively. But I get stuck from time to time–nothing fresh comes to mind. Sometimes nothing at all comes to mind, not even a bad idea. Here’s a few strategies I have used over the years to re-start my creativity.

Leave. The longer I sit and stare or try to think harder the worse it gets. I just cannot will my mind to be creative when it’s tired or at an impasse. My best option is to leave the situation and find something else to do for a while.

Sleep. I cannot tell you how refreshing a good night’s sleep is on my brain. The opposite is true when I haven’t had enough sleep. Rest is perhaps one of the most important, if not the most important fuel of creativity. When I haven’t had enough rest, I’m not creative but irritable and mean, instead.

Shower. Ok, this might not work for everyone, but I have had several break-throughs while in the shower. Some of my best ideas have come out during a long, hot shower. I have even replaced my water heater with a tankless system that provides unlimited hot water just in case it takes me longer to find a solution than the amount of hot water left in the tank.

Run. There’s something wonderful about running early in the morning to open up my mind for the possibilities of the day. I have found myself more creative when the running endorphins kick in early.

Laugh. I cannot be innovative when I’m not happy. I’m convinced that laughter helps, well, everything including creativity.

How do you get un-stuck creatively?

February 3, 2011
Your Boring Meeting Is Costing You a Lot of Money

Every meeting has costs and benefits. Successful organizations realize that while meetings are important, they can also be a waste of time and with it, a waste of money. Sometimes a lot of money. Not long ago I found myself in an all-day meeting with a group of 10 senior staff members of a church. We were together for almost 8 hours. That was not necessary. The meeting should have lasted 3 hours, and they only needed 4 of the 10 people there. Then I did something I had never done before, even in all my years of ministry. I tried to figure out just how much that meeting had cost the church in salaries alone. By my estimates those 8 hours cost around $4,000, not including my fees as well as lunch. How would we conduct meetings if we had a “money clock” running with a total cost for each minute cost on the wall? Here’s some strategies I like to use to keep from wasting money:

Clear agenda and clear objectives. People need to know not only the subject of the meeting but what we want to get accomplish. Be specific: we want to have a final time line and approve the budget.

Only the right people. Sometimes you need to bring the entire team together for a global reason. Way too often, however, people sit in meetings where only a very small part of the agenda pertains to them. Start with the agenda items relevant to everyone in the room and dismiss people as the discussion gets narrower.

A stand up meeting. Some decisions can be done quickly. A stand up meeting is a great way to bring a group together fast, get o the point and disband. For some reason sit down meetings are at least 30 minutes long. A stand up meeting usually lasts 5.

No verbal processing. Some leaders are verbal processors. They need to “talk it out” until they come to clarity. That’s ok, but don’t do it with your entire team unless you need specific input from them. It’s expensive and exhaustive. I’ve worked with leaders who were not as interested in their teams input as they were in talking through the issues themselves. You need to find a better outlet, if that’s how you’re wired.

What other strategies do you know to keep your meetings on track?

February 2, 2011
What I Learned from Spending 4 Days with Millennials

I spent the last four days in Jacksonville, FL where I spoke at the First Baptist Church’s Pastors Conference. I have been at this conference for the past 5 years, but this year I made a point to spend more time hanging out with my friend, and conference leader, Trey Brunson and his entourage of helpers. I didn’t know what to expect at first, but not only did I have blast with them, I also learned a lot from these guys.

(L-R) Trey Brunson, Sam Lee, Chris Brown

Trey is a bright, passionate and resourceful 26 year old who has way more responsibilities anyone his age should have but deals with it like a pro. During the conference some have jokingly commented that my time investment in my young friends was a futile attempt to hold on to my fleeting youth. Personal aging issues aside, I want, as a communicator, to understand, relate and reach a generation of young leaders who think and act differently than me. While it’s easy to read about millennials, sharing life with them is a much more rewarding and rich experience.

First Baptist Church Jacksonville Pastors Conference

Here are some thoughts after spending 4 days with a group of millennials:

They still believe their dreams are within reach.

They are willing to take God at His Word.

They are prolific texters (not a word, but should be). I suspect Sam is dating about 3 girls by the amount of text the boy generates.

They still believe they can change the world.

They want passionate, authentic leaders to challenge them.

They value relationships above possessions and career goals.

They want mentors to speak into their lives.

They are open to honest conversations on any topic and willing to discuss even the most personal matters with a total stranger.

They accept people where they are.

They are confortable with the mundane, the sacred and the down right ridiculous—all within the same conversation.

They rather work out of conviction than out of fear.

They can stay up all night and function all day with only a few hours of sleep.

After spending a few days with these guys, I don’t regret my choice. Even though I didn’t get enough sleep and ate too much bad food. Oh, and I was also introduced to Lingerie Football League. However, I don’t know if they’ll say the same about hanging out with me.

When did you last spend time with a younger generation? What did you learn?

February 1, 2011