I ran into this video on my friend Jeff Holton’s Facebook wall. It spoke to me deeply. I hope it will speak to you as well.
Author: Maurilio Amorim
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Guys, What Does Your Watch Say About You?
It’s no secret that men wear watches as a fashion. Ok so watches tell time as well, but for centuries, a man’s watch says more about his personality and fashion sense than most any other accessory. Yes, accessory, deal with it. So what does your watch say about you? Here’s a quick guide to men’s watches and their meaning.
Timex: you’re practical and no-nonsense kind of guy. For you, it’s your fashionable non-fashion statement. I’m not pretentious like those jerks who wear expensive watches and the money I saved on not buying an expensive watch I made an extra mortgage payment on my house. Do you know you can pay your house off in half the time you if many an extra payment a year?
Sports watch: I’m a competitor. After I leave this meeting, I’m going a mile swim, 20 miles bike ride and then run a 10k. If you don’t how far a 10k is that’s because you are a lazy lardbutt and not a stud athlete like me.
Wide-band design watches. I’m cool. Look at my wide leather band and hey, that’s a cool watch attached to that band, and it’s big too. Look at it. Look at it! I know you can’t keep from staring at it because it’s so freaking big. I’m cool, ain’t I.
Leather band Swiss watches. I’m sophisticate. While I could afford something made from gold, I chose to pair this incredible Swiss time piece with an understated leather band. Rich but not nuveaux rich.
Rolex: I’m successful. Sales people love to wear gold Rolexes. Makes them feel superior to other sales guys who can’t afford them. I says “I’m good at what I do. Look at my expensive Rolex.” Unless it’s a fake from China and then you’re just a poser who wants people to think you are successful. But hey, you’re in sales.
No watch: I’m organic. I don’t need a watch to tell the time, my iPhone does that for me. I choose to wear a bracelet made of natural fibers from a tree in the Amazon I helped saved when I make a Kiva loan to the tribesman who started a business making these cool bracelets I now wear.
What’s your watch style of choice? What does it say about you or the man in your life?
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Sales Help: How to Close a Deal
Every interaction you have with a potential client is critical if you want to establish a good relationship and eventually get the account. I firmly believe that you should value your input and expertise and charge for it adequately (I have blogged about it here.) However, I also believe that with each exchange with a promising new account you should find a way to add value in a way that cements in the other person’s mind the need for your services. Here’ s how I do it.
how to close a deal I listen to their story. No matter what field of work you are in, people do business with other people and not just faceless entities. In order to be able to offer help, you need to know what’s important to the person you’re talking to, not only what’s needed in his or her business. These are often two different things. Sometimes you have to bridge the gap between what people “think” they need and their true needs. I use to assume that people knew what they needed and quickly tried to connect what I did with their needs. I didn’t work. I came across as an overly eager sales guy. You even know what they need, always listen and try to figure out what your audience’s hot buttons truly are.
I scratch their itch. I have heard many times “I need a better website.” While that might be true, that, most likely, is not his primary need. Often business and ministries need a better digital strategy in order to drive the specs for a great website. I start where they are and hopefully help them see where they need to be. There’s nothing more powerful than asking questions in order to get people thinking about their assumptions. “Ultimately, what do you want this website to do that’s not currently doing?”
I give them the unexpected. That’s where you can make the most impact and where your experience and expertise can pay the most dividends during sales. Phrases like “In my experience, I have seen this type of results. . . ” or “have you consider this type of action? It has worked well for . . . “. These “freemiums” of consulting have helped me close deals. It communicates to my soon-to-be client that I can bring fresh and innovative ideas to the table and that she needs me and my team on her court.
How are you at closing deals?
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How Gracious Are you Really?
I had to be taught to be gracious. That’s a quality that doesn’t come by naturally to me as I suspect to most guys. After all, our male instinct is to win, get “there” first, hold on tight to what’s ours, fight our way to the top and not to take grief from anyone. Early in life I saw my mother model grace as she gave so much of herself, and of her amazing cooking skills, to family and friends. I have my wife, Gwen, to thank for modeling grace in her relationships and how she deals with people. Interestingly, graciousness has as much to do with giving as it does with receiving. Are you a gracious person? Answer the following questions honestly.
Do you have to win every argument?
Are you able to receive gifts and compliments well?
Do you give expecting something in return? Even gratitude?
How often do you resent people for not being thankful for something you’ve done for them?
How easy is for you to be “done” with a relationship because it’s not reciprocal?
When was the last time you’ve allowed someone else to “win” so they could safe face and not be embarrassed.
How often do you open your home to someone who might never be able to return the favor?
Have you ever reneged on your word because the stakes got too high and you were about to give away more money than you thought?
How many friends do you have who are not in your social-economic demographic?
Being gracious is hard work. At least it is for me. Altruism is easier towards those whom I have never met than it is toward a family member, a client or a friend who doesn’t respond the way I want them to. But I have never regretted backing down when I knew I had the right to push forward for the sake of a relationship. I have never regretted giving regardless of the perceived “appreciation.” Interestingly, human nature being what it is, I still have to fight the urge to attach strings to any kindness I do.
Who’s the most gracious person you know?
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Build Your Dream Team
I’m fortunate to have an amazing group of talented and committed people working at The A Group. It’s truly a dream team. And with each new hire, the stakes seem to be getting higher. I like that. Talent, attracts talent and elevates the game for everyone. I have written about the 3Cs we screen in hiring: competence, character and chemistry. But beyond that I’m always on the look out for qualities that will make a great addition to our team.
Raw talent. Nothing is more exciting than to find someone who has a natural ability in their area of expertise. No matter their area of work inside our organization–designers, programmers, video producers, account managers, or sales–talented people are given the tools and the opportunity to do their best work. I’m convinced you can help a talented person grow and flourish, but without it, no amount of coaching and tools can take someone who lacks talent.
Work ethic. Gifted people without a strong work ethic won’t last long with us, and I’m sure they won’t be long anywhere they work. I believe in balance between work and home life, but we take our product and services seriously and those who work hard reap the benefits.
Hunger. That’s how I define what some call “life-long learners.” In our field of communication and technology, if you’re not a learner you won’t survive. I believe that’s true in every arena of business. The A Group has grown steadily over the years, and we even grew in a down economy due to the fact we are a solutions-based company. That means we are constantly looking at our clients’ challenges and opportunities and figuring out a way to help solve them. That’s part of our business DNA and without it, we would have been out of business a long time ago. We hire intelligent, inquisitive, passionate and opinionated people who like to push the envelope and are not afraid of trying new things.
Have you ever been a part of a great, or bad team? What’s the difference?
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How a Bad Video Can Ruin Your Fundraiser
I recently attended a fundraiser where the opening video was so poorly produced that instead of help the cause, I believe it actually hurt it. The excuse was a familiar one, “it’s about the stories and not the production,” was the reply to my text on how bad the video was. The truth is that because of the poor production, great stories were reduced to bad stories that made no sense. A bad video will undermine an event and the professionalism and competence of any organization and its leaders. Whether you’re using a volunteer, a staff member or even a paid professional, here’s what to look for in a fund raising video:
Is this image clear enough to look good on a projection screen? You’d be surprised how poorly produced videos that look OK on computer monitors translate terribly to a projection screen. If a video looks grainy and dark on your computer, it will look even worse on a screen.
Is the interview audio level adequate? If you only have the camera ambient mic, chances are your audio interview will not be usable. If you can’t hear what it’s being said, then don’t bother with it.
What are you trying to say and who’s your audience? Good producers know where they want the story to go and they make sure they find the thread of continuity even in different interviews and stories running throughout an entire video. They ask questions, probe and find the soundbites that take the viewer where they should go.
Are you doing justice to people’s stories? The video I saw recently had a powerful story of a family who lost a son but the piece was so badly put together that the audience was confused and shocked at the end. “What happened?” asked the people next to me.
These seem obvious but even organizations that should know better will allow amateur videos ruin their fund raising efforts on the altar of convenience.
What else would you include in this list?
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Are You Ready for Cuffs, High Waters and No Socks?
I remember wearing penny loafers with no socks sometime in the late 80’s. J.Crew. is bringing that look back and has added a new twist: the folded cuff to both jeans and khakis. While this style is not for every one, it can be a playful and somewhat dressy with some even folding their suit pant. One interesting trend that’s coming back along with the folded cuff is the higher hem with no break at the shoe line, or “high waters” if you prefer. Take a look:
white bucks, cuffed jeans and no socks 
If you can't wear jeans at work, this would be your kakhi alternative 
pairing shorts with dress shoes and no socks is not for the fashion timid Guys what do you think? Would you feel comfortable wearing cuffed khakis with no socks?
Ladies, do you think your man would wear this look?
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Confession of a Failed Parenting Moment
This is not an educational, inspirational, or leadership post. This is a confessional note, and I’m not proud it. Sometimes you have days where there’s not much left of your brains, patience or both at the end of a long haul. Yesterday was that day for me. I got home and by the time I took the boys out for a “guys dinner out,” I had nothing left for them.
Our dinner was, for all practical reasons, a non event. I was tired of thinking and talking so I just sat there like a lump on a log and watched the boys eat their dinner. There was no teaching moment, no funny stories, not even an argument from me. I was barely there; as a matter of fact, I was not there at all.
I’d rather write about all the life lessons I get right and the good things that come from figuring stuff out. But I’m writing today from a place of weakness and failure as a reminder, mostly to myself, that I don’t have it all figured out. I’m not the perfectly positioned brand carefully crafted in my social media persona. I’m writing this post so I will not buy into my own PR and start patting myself on the back for a job not even done yet, much less one that’s well done.
It’s sad that those who need us the most, sometimes get our left overs, our silence, our non events. I know I risk losing some who might find my transparency a turn off. But more often than I let on, I am weak and I screw up.
Thank you for being here and holding me accountable. This blog has become such an important part of my life. I’m sharing more than just knowledge through these posts. I’m processing life through them in real time.
I hope you get something out of this.
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What Do You Give Someone Who Has Everything?
“You are a very hard person to buy for. You have everything you need,” said a good friend looking at me as to say, “you’re spoiled.” Well, he’s right. I have everything I need. As a matter of fact I would go even one step further to say I have most things I want. Yes, I’m spoiled. While I don’t consider myself financially wealthy, I should since, by the world’s standards, most of us living in America would be labeled “rich.” So the question of the hour turned into a simple and yet practical one: What do you give someone who has everything? While the discussion was general in nature, it was clearly addressed at me. The more narrow translation would be “Maurilio, what can anyone give you that you either don’t have or wouldn’t go out and buy it for yourself if you wanted it?” So I thought for a few seconds before I answered it. Here’s what I came up with.
I want the things money can’t buy:
The companionship of a friend.
An encouraging text message
An unexpected call
An affirming email
A handwritten note
A trip around the Virgin Island in your private Yacht (Ok, technically, MY money can’t buy this)
People who have everything know that the “thing” part of “everything” is a trap. I’m glad I got this one figured out. Things don’t make me happy anymore. Well, they never did, but for a good long part of my life, I thought they did and I pursued them. Being able to share life in a meaningful way with those whom I love and care for make my day. These unforgettable exchanges are the most precious gifts you can ever give someone who has everything.
What’s the best gift anyone can give you?
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The Uncertainty and Promise of a New Chapter
As much as we love to talk about the excitement of new experiences and opportunities, we generally don’t like change; we don’t like uncertainty. Think about it, most of the time we’ll:
order our favorite item on the menu
drive home the same way we always do,
sit on our usual pew,
wear our favorite pair of jeans no matter what else we own.
So when our circumstances force us to move out of the comfortable and predictable, we don’t do well. Unwittingly we have subscribed to the philosophical idea that “the evil we know is better than the evil we don’t know.” Sometimes we even feel this way when it’s the uncertainty of something we have anticipated and worked hard to obtain:
Graduating from college
Getting a new job
Adjusting to married life
Moving into a new place
Starting a new venture
Going back to school
Watching your children move out
These life transitions have a way to reset the familiar and force us to learn new skills, meet new people, and grow in order to successfully navigate our new circumstances.
I don’t know where you are today, but most likely there’s a part of your life going through a transition that might be causing you angst. You might not even have chosen to be in this situation, and you hate the uncertainty it creates, but here you are. Like a unfinished book, this chapter is yet unwritten. Every action becomes words on the pages of your life. While you cannot control someone else’s story, you are the one writing your own narrative. I want to encourage you to embrace this new chapter with its ambiguities and uncertainties and write the best part of your story yet.
What chapter of your life are you currently writing?