It’s no secret that men wear watches as a fashion. Ok so watches tell time as well, but for centuries, a man’s watch says more about his personality and fashion sense than most any other accessory. Yes, accessory, deal with it. So what does your watch say about you? Here’s a quick guide to men’s watches and their meaning.
Timex: you’re practical and no-nonsense kind of guy. For you, it’s your fashionable non-fashion statement. I’m not pretentious like those jerks who wear expensive watches and the money I saved on not buying an expensive watch I made an extra mortgage payment on my house. Do you know you can pay your house off in half the time you if many an extra payment a year?
Sports watch: I’m a competitor. After I leave this meeting, I’m going a mile swim, 20 miles bike ride and then run a 10k. If you don’t how far a 10k is that’s because you are a lazy lardbutt and not a stud athlete like me.
Wide-band design watches. I’m cool. Look at my wide leather band and hey, that’s a cool watch attached to that band, and it’s big too. Look at it. Look at it! I know you can’t keep from staring at it because it’s so freaking big. I’m cool, ain’t I.
Leather band Swiss watches. I’m sophisticate. While I could afford something made from gold, I chose to pair this incredible Swiss time piece with an understated leather band. Rich but not nuveaux rich.
Rolex: I’m successful. Sales people love to wear gold Rolexes. Makes them feel superior to other sales guys who can’t afford them. I says “I’m good at what I do. Look at my expensive Rolex.” Unless it’s a fake from China and then you’re just a poser who wants people to think you are successful. But hey, you’re in sales.
No watch: I’m organic. I don’t need a watch to tell the time, my iPhone does that for me. I choose to wear a bracelet made of natural fibers from a tree in the Amazon I helped saved when I make a Kiva loan to the tribesman who started a business making these cool bracelets I now wear.
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