“I’m too busy to keep up with my friends. I just don’t have time to engage people like I want to.” I hear these words quite often these days. We are busy and some of us have families, jobs, and even school to deal with on a daily basis. Who has time to pursue or maintain any more relationships? While I’m sympathetic to such a reality, I also know that the best life has to offer, including business, is usually found in the context of relationships. I have found that using 3 simple tools has given me the chance to keep up with key relationships, some even in different continents. Text messaging. Text messages are the fastest, most dynamic way to reach someone. It’s instant and designed to be succinct. Most smart phones will accept pictures and video as well. I even use text to communicate with a group of…

As a marketer and communicator, I’m always looking for trends. I have noticed that my 16 year-old son hasn’t asked me to buy him songs from iTunes in a while now. I know his appetite for music has not subsided and since his allowance has been, should I say, suspended, I know he hasn’t been buying any new tunes lately. Yesterday I asked him where he and his friends are getting their music. His answer surprised me: Youtube. Interestingly, Marcus’ generation is not interested in owning their music. They’re happy to stream it from anywhere they can. That’s a major shift from the millennials. While the marketing implications of how a generation behaves is important, the entire exchange reminded me that as a marketer and communicator I must also be a sociologist. According to Wikipedia sociology is defined as: The study of society.[1] It is a social science—a term with…

Creativity is not just for people in the arts. Creative people come up with all kinds of  solutions: from math problems, engineer dilemmas, financing options to book titles, video concepts and logo designs. Creatives make things happen when others can’t. I have made a career of helping my clients to think innovatively. But I get stuck from time to time–nothing fresh comes to mind. Sometimes nothing at all comes to mind, not even a bad idea. Here’s a few strategies I have used over the years to re-start my creativity. Leave. The longer I sit and stare or try to think harder the worse it gets. I just cannot will my mind to be creative when it’s tired or at an impasse. My best option is to leave the situation and find something else to do for a while. Sleep. I cannot tell you how refreshing a good night’s sleep…

I spent the last four days in Jacksonville, FL where I spoke at the First Baptist Church’s Pastors Conference. I have been at this conference for the past 5 years, but this year I made a point to spend more time hanging out with my friend, and conference leader, Trey Brunson and his entourage of helpers.  I didn’t know what to expect at first, but not only did I have blast with them, I also learned a lot from these guys. Trey is a bright, passionate and resourceful 26 year old who has way more responsibilities anyone his age should have but deals with it like a pro. During the conference some have jokingly commented that my time investment in my young friends was a futile attempt to hold on to my fleeting youth.  Personal aging issues aside, I want, as a communicator, to understand, relate and reach a generation…

If you’re a communicator, you cannot afford not to be engaged in social media. I know this sounds like a mandate, and it is. Even if only a part of your job is to communicate the vision, mission and direction of the organization you lead, you, more than anyone else in your organization, should lead the social media charge. I meet with leaders who refuse to embrace any social platforms. Their excuses are always the same: I don’t get it. I don’t have time. I’m a private person. I have nothing to say. Until recently I used to go down a list of why it didn’t take that much time and how to manage time. I patiently talked about how even a private person could have a dynamic online presence, and how even the most introvert of leaders has something to say to his or her organization as well as…

No one likes to receive bad news. But being the bearer of bad news is not much fun either. Seems like the past few weeks I have found myself delivering the kind of messages I wish someone else would do. I want to deliver happiness, fat checks, and great looking food. But there are times we all need to  “suck it up,” and give people news that will disappoint, hurt and even devastate. So how do you do that well? I’m not sure I’m doing it well, but as I thought about the circumstances I’ve been lately, I tried to put myself in the other person’s shoes. If someone is going to give me bad news, how would I like for it be done? Here are some thoughts: Be kind. Difficult conversations are painful by nature. So there’s no need to make them any more hurtful. Tell me the bad…

Good leaders are good communicators. There’s no way out of it. Happy talk is their way of casting vision but not accomplishing much.  One of the primary functions of a leader is to sell a vision, a destination, or a future to his or her followers. You can’t do that without good communication skills. But a good communicator is not necessarily a good leader. While your oratory skills might get you elected to a prestigious position, it will not keep you there long. I have been in so many meetings led by a good communicator who happens to be a poor leader. Most of goes on in these settings I call “happy talk”: the ability to talk about ideas, projects and initiatives that will never materialize. Chances are, next time the same people convene, some, if not all, of the same subject matter will come back up for discussion again.…

A lot of our communication is non verbal. Body language, mood, appearance all contribute to the way we communicate. Whether we are interviewing for a job, negotiating a contract, or counseling a friend, our body language can speak louder than our words. Over the years, I have become conscientious of my body language specially during intense, meaningful exchanges. Most people are intentional about their appearance, but I find that a lot of people are not aware of their body language. Here’s a few things to consider: Make eye contact. I know that sounds obvious. But I talk with people who cannot make consistent eye contact during an important conversation. That comes across to most people as a sign of  untruth, such as a hidden agenda or worse, a lie. If you can’t look me in the eye, chances are I’m not going to believe you. Uncross your arms and legs.…

We all want to believe we are friendly. I’ve never been to a church that said, “we’re not friendly.” Well, I take that back. I once visited with a minister who said “we’re not a very friendly congregation.” And boy, he meant it. But usually churches I work with are evangelical protestant congregations with a heart for those outside the faith. Such churches want newcomers to feel welcomed and go through great lengths to create environments that say, “we’re glad you here.” But sometimes there’s a disconnect between what happens inside and what people see on the outside. Recently I saw this sign outside a church’s front door: In principle I don’t have a problem with a church not wanting people to eat, talk on the phone or even chew gum. Ok, I have a problem with not being able to chew gum at church. But should that be the…

A lot goes in a name. And a whole lot goes into naming or re-naming a church. I remember when my friend Frank Santora from Danbury, CT, renamed his church. They went from Bright Clouds Ministries (not an Indian reservation) to Faith Church. Well that was a big win for them. I don’t think anyone in congregation complained; again, why would they? One of the frequent questions I get from church leaders has to do with their church’s name. But before you go out  and change your congregation’s name, here are a few thoughts to consider: Make sure you have a compelling reason to change the name. Name changes are traumatic. The older the congregation, the more emotional equity a name has. For example, it doesn’t make sense to be “Hunter Street Baptist Church” if you’re moving to Michigan Avenue. A name change is warranted here, or if your church…