Stupid Stuff Christian Men Should Never Say on a Date


I’ve been asked to write about how Christian men should communicate on dates by some of the single readers of this blog (all 3 of them). Since I have not been single in over 20 years, I’ve asked my friend KelcieKay Sberna to help me out by sharing her experience in the dating scene. Here’s her account.

This is a list that I have compiled over the past couple years; years filled with bad dates and creepy suitors. I have a career in ministry so I find that my dates are usually evangelical men 25-30 years of age. These are all actual accounts from my dates, however fictitious they might sound. I will marry the man of God who doesn’t commit any of the following crimes.

Sending flowers the day of the date is an excellent idea. However, attaching a note that says “Imagine how much more romantic I will be later” is not.  You might as well have written “I’m going to lock you in a basement and make a coat of your skin.”

Words of affirmation may not be your love language. But please don’t throw out compliments like: “You’re beautiful! And the cool thing is that my mom used to say, ‘where beauty lacks in one area of the body it will usually make up for it in another area.’ So you are blessed!” What the heck is that supposed to mean?!?!

Speaking of mothers, it’s always a good sign when a son treats his mother well. It tells a lot about how he treats women. However, “my mother is sexy. I hope my wife looks like her some day. Can I see a picture of your mom?” is just wrong.

I don’t mind movie buffs; however, asking me if I am on Team Jacob or Team Edward and then giving me a 6-point thesis as to why I should be on Team Edward will assure you of no second date. At least not a with a female.

A good Christian man should always take the lead and bless the food before dinner.  But please, do not pray this prayer out loud during the date: “And God, should this be the woman I am to marry, please let her spirit speak to her quickly, as the spirit has already spoken to me. For you are the ultimate matchmaker. And bless the food and conversation, amen.” CHECK PLEASE!

What’s the worst date moment of your life?

  • 3rdangelsmsg

    LOL!!! I am dying! Those were hysterical! I've heard some doozies myself, but some of those take the cake!

  • Ha!! This is awesome!! Makes me very thankful to NOT be dating. 🙂

    • Me, too, Sheila. Are guys that desperate and clueless?

      • Jeanne

        Desperate? Not always. Clueless? Usually. The sweet spot is when it's adorable cluelessness, not the restraining order kind.

  • Melissa

    This was great, funny and sadly true.

    Worst – on a first blind date the guy didn't bring flowers, he brought a basket of potatoes, prayed at dinner and then assaulted me after dinner to the level of being arrested.

  • KelcieKay Sberna, I think you should maybe not pick up any more men at the laundromat. Just a suggestion….

  • Jeanne

    I can't believe that you date evangelical men and none of them have led with gender roles and submission. Granted, I married as an unbeliever and came to Christ shortly after I got married so most of the men I've known since then have been married friends, but if they're not talking about it on the first date they sure ramp up quickly. This was well done. Made me glad I married young and God blessed my stupidity with a great guy!

  • Yikes!

    The notion that someone would tell their date that their own mother is sexy, is wrong on so many levels.

  • I am sure I have had my moments of saying stupid things, but who does not? If the guy says something confusing or stupid, give him a break, they are probably just nervous. A nervous guy is often the opposite of a cocky guy. If the guy says something like "I cheated on my last girlfriend" or "I never want to have kids, NEVER!" then, write him off (assuming you don't to be cheated on or that you don't want kids).

  • brothertonandrew

    I had a girl tell me on the first date that she wasn't easy, and that she didn't go all the way on the first date. In the first 10 minutes of the date, and because she was a blind date it was the first time I had ever met her. She then preceded to basically assault me to the point that I had to physically get up and sit in a different seat during the movie also I didn't think when I chose the movie and I chose Apocolypto which I didn't know was the most violent movie ever made. Great amazing date.

    • Dude, I think I went on a date with her about 25 years ago. 🙂

  • KelcieKay Sberna

    I do try to give the man the benefit of the doubt- however certain things can be said that are just major clues as to whether or not there will ever be a second date, or even dessert.
    Blane- I was totally freaked after the guy told me he finds his mother sexy. I immediately called my brother to call me back with a fake emergency to get me out of the date.

    I'm loving the replies back on this blog! Although I forgot that a few of the men who committed the dating crimes follow me on twitter. The emails and texts messages following the debut were quite animated and entertaining.

  • Oh boy, how about if his mother calls twice during the date and he actually takes the calls and shares how the date is going. True story…

  • Jeanne

    The really good part about some of these stories is that at least it's really easy to discern whether you should go out with these guys again!

    Jennifer, love that. Can you imagine what she'll do on the honeymoon? She'll probably insist on coming along so you three can all enjoy a vacation!

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