Public speaking is a difficult skill. You have to engage an audience that’s easily bored. Pastors have some of the most difficult jobs for any communicators out there. They have to produce fresh and relevant content every week, sometimes two or three times a week and present to critics, uh, members who expect their pastor to be on par with world-class communicators. While most every week my pastor friends do an amazing job, they’re also human. Here’s a list of things I wish I had never heard a Pastor say. No names here, you know who you are:
Let’s bring the whole tithe in the whorehouse of the Lord, uh, storehouse that is.
Lot pinched his tits. No, he pitched his tent. Did I just say that?
I’ve upped my pledge to the building campaign, now up yours.
I get paid to be good. You’re good for nothing.
Let everything that has breasts, praise ye the Lord. (Ok, confession: I said that in my first church while reading Psalm 150)
How many deacons does it take to change a light bulb? I don’t know because the deacons in this church don’t do jack.
Often small group study is the equivalent of a spiritual quickie.
What have you heard a preacher say, or even said it yourself, in a church service that you know the speaker wished he or she could have taken it back?