It’s a cliche, but it’s a good one: “Sometimes all you need to do is just show up.” I have seen its power in my own life. As a matter of fact, it works for me on a daily basis. I cannot tell you how many times I have abandoned personal growth goals because I was too afraid, too lazy or too discouraged to even try, so I didn’t even bother showing  up. You can’t fail if you don’t try, right? Wrong. For me the greatest battle is winning over my mind. Waking up at 5 am and dragging myself to the gym when I don’t feel like going is not always easy to do. Sitting down and working on a project that’s important but not urgent is tough to do sometimes. But there’s so much more than just showing up at the gym or getting your job done. Sometimes…

We judge most things and experiences on details. I call it it the 10% rule because most of that what makes the details worth of notice usually happen at the very end of a project, building construction, manufacturing, design, experience–the last 10% of completion.That’s why finishing well is not just a good idea, it’s the difference between mediocrity and greatness and even success and failure. I don’t care how solid the foundation of a house is or how well-framed the walls are, if the painting is sloppy the entire structure gets devalued. “It’s just cosmetic,” you might say, but in the minds of most people the entire product gets devalued because of the last 10% of effort was not done well.  The opposite is true as well. Sometimes a beautifully finished building will garner top price before its owners find out that at core the structure is substandard. The value,…

Likeable people do better in life in general. They attract more people to them, along with opportunities and invitations. Some say they are likeable because they get more “breaks” than the average person. I think it’s the opposite, and there is a lot of research to back up my opinion. I wrote about the happiness advantage here. But if likeable people get further in life, can we become more likeable, or are we dealing with an inherited genetic code that has our gregarious dial preset before birth? No matter what our natural predisposition is, I’m certain we all can improve our likeability factor by changing a few key behaviors. Stop talking about yourself. When we meet new people, the natural tendency is to tell them all about us. Likeable people do the opposite. They find a way to engage the other party in talking about themselves. The more someone talks…

Some believe happiness comes from finding themselves in the right places, relationships, job, or income level.  I don’t believe that, and in recent years there is enough evidence from the field of psychology in what I have believed all along: happiness is not a byproduct of success. The opposite is actually true: happy people become successful. After finishing reading Shawn Achor’s book, “The Happiness Advantage,” I bought a copy for everyone on my team.  Shawn’s work is well researched without being didactic. It offers practical steps even for those who are not naturally prone to be happy.  I highly recommend it. One of the points that resonated with me the most came from a 40-year-old study directed by psychologist George Vaillant. He summed up his findings in one word “love—full stop.”  In his words, there are “70 years of evidence that our relationships with other people matter and matter more…

Sometimes we need to say “no” to a good idea so we can say “yes” to the best idea.  Stephen Covey puts it this way: “It’s easy to say ‘no!’ when there’s a deeper ‘yes!’ burning inside.” While that approach to both business and personal life might make sense, and we see the validity in waiting for the best, that is no easy task for those of us living in our immediate gratification culture. We often sacrifice the best on the crucible of the good. After all, no one was ever penalized for coming up and executing a good idea. But by choosing the good, we forfeit the satisfaction, exhilaration, the mountain-top view of what only the best can provide. So then why do we settle? Here are a few reasons I do it. I don’t know what I want. It’s easy to say yes to a marginally good idea, business,…

The appeal of a new beginning to all of us is the opportunity for a “do over,” to wipe the virtual slate clean. But what often happens is quite the opposite. Recently I talked with a friend who is starting over. It’s a complete new start: a new career, a new town, a new perspective in life. My advice to him was simple: make sure you start over and not start again. I think a lot of people miss the point of the start over and find a way to repeat the same mistakes in a different environment, different business, or different relationship. We didn’t learn the lesson we should have learned, so instead of starting over, we start again. It’s just a matter of time before we find ourselves in the same predicament that caused us pain before. But with every start again, the price we pay gets higher.…

I have been hitting the gym hard the past year and I have seen great results. I went from roughly 15% body fat down to 8% while increasing muscle mass. There are a lot of nuances to get your body on a full transformation schedule, but as I contemplate my journey,  I always come back to three basic foundations. Weight training. I loved to run, cycle, and swim. But the older I got, the more muscle I lost with a cardio-only exercise routine. While training for a marathon, I got so thin that I looked like a starving zombie. It’s not the look anyone is going for. I found that for a significant body transformation, resistance training with weights is a great way to prevent bone mass loss as well as to increase muscle and give me an overall healthy look. And I feel better than I’ve felt in years.…

“I would like to become a consultant. How do I get there?” I get that question quite often. While the answer might not be a simple one, I can tell you it’s more than the proverbial “guy with a PowerPoint presentation from out of town.”  While there’s no ultimate consultant’s manual, here are guidelines I have followed in consulting that have served me well : You must genuinely like people, or you’ll hate consulting. Know your stuff. People’s future depends on that. Listen more than you talk. You first priority is to solve a problem, not to sell a product. You must understand the pain of the leader  before you can help him fix the organization. Be truthful, be firm, but be kind. Some people respond to the potential loss they want to avoid, others to the opportunity they can seize. You better know which one you’re talking to. You…

Aging is a matter of the mind. And yet I tell my body everyday that and it still aches and hurts every time I go out on a run. The truth is that, for the most part, aging stinks. But you can live a long time and never get “old” a.k.a crabby, bitter and demanding. Well, by those standards there are days that I could be considered old, very, very old. We can’t stop gravity and time from slowing us down,but we can stop aging from robbing us of a full life. If you don’t think so, just take a look a this video. Question: How do you stay young?

I wonder from time to time if the stuff I write on this blog really matters. Does it ultimately help anyone, or am I rambling on about things that no one really cares? I know that it often helps me to process thoughts and ideas and even to crystallize a concept that has been brewing in my mind for a while. But what about the rest of the people who read these posts? When I question my effectiveness, the reach of my influence, I am thankful for days like today. I opened an email that read: “You didn’t know it when you posted this, but I was influenced greatly by it.  I was feeling “restless” just before Thanksgiving and your post opened me up to some new possibilities.  As it turns out, I have taken a a new job. . . .” You might be struggling with feelings similar to…