Posts Tagged ‘life lessons’



Why I Need Balance

I struggle with finding balance in my life. I’m driven, performance oriented and competitive. Those traits don’t mix well with balance, but I understand that without balance in my life, I tend to focus on the urgent and forget to take care of the important. I’ve heard someone say recently that balance is overrated. Throw caution to the wind and, as the romantics would say, “carpe diem.” But what a balanced life ultimate offers all of us is the ability to look soberly at our circumstance as well as to where we are headed. Balance tells us that we are working too hard, or neglecting loved ones, or that we are not spending enough time and resources to those who cannot help themselves. A balanced person looks at the dashboard of hisĀ  or her life where the physical, emotional, spiritual and relationalĀ  gauges tell a complete story. It’s easy for…

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The Law of Expectation that Changed My Life

Expectations can help you grow. Unreasonable expectations will only frustrate all parties involved, however. My college organ teacher, (yes, I played the organ during college) Mr. Shanko was a crusty, old, organ virtuoso whose expectations helped me become a much better organist. What I didn’t know, however, is that the law of expectation would carry over into other areas of my life. “If I accomplished so much more than I though I could in this arena, what other areas can I outperform my own expectations?” I eventually asked myself. So how can you help those around you succeed without creating unreasonable expectations for them? See what they cannot. Mr. Shanko saw a talent in me that I didn’t see. He affirmed it during our lessons together. “You’re very good. You could be great,” he used to say. I though the organ was cool because I could make sounds with my…

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How Strategic Are Your Friendships?

It sounds self serving, but should our friendships be strategic? Somehow the words friendship and strategy should never appear together, right? Before you dismiss the concept altogether, consider that a strategy is an intentional pursuit of a goal. I have key strategic friendships in my life. These are not self-serving, one-way relationships. That’s not a friendship. But relationships that are two-way conversations. They are shared story lines that intercept in time and create a common narratives for two people. I have strategic friendships because I need the perspective, input and companionship of friends who help me grow in the areas I’m most deficient. However, I pray that I can give more to my friend than what I get from them. I have friends who challenge and guide me spiritually. I can always count on them to probe deeper and hold me accountable to my personal spiritual growth. I have friends…

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Confessions of a Lousy Father

I got a called from Gwen this afternoon. We had our first teenage car accident. Our 15-year-old son had just backed up his mom’s Infinity SUV into a neighbor’s mailbox crushing the truck’s bumper and destroying the mailbox on his first attempt at driving after getting his permit on Friday. “We just spent two thousand dollars on body work this summer! How are we going to make him pay for the damages? ” were the first words out of my mouth. I was furious and my main concern was with the cost of fixing the car and the mailbox. It wasn’t until later, much later, that I thought about my son, his feelings and the trauma he might be facing. Now as I reflect on today’s event, I so wish I had reacted differently. Even after all the years of reading the Bible, listening to numerous messages, reflecting, praying and…

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