So your life is not necessarily where you wanted it to be right now. Happiness is an elusive feeling that comes and goes with circumstances, and you can’t seem to hold on to it long enough to enjoy it. I hear those sentiments quite often. Many of my conversations give me a glimpse of how difficult to achieve happiness is for most of us. But I think we’re getting it wrong. Circumstantial happiness is by any standard, a fleeting and fickle feeling (sorry about the alliteration and don’t try to say it tree times fast). There has to be a better way to live.
Whether you verbalize it or not, how many times have you thought: I would be happy if I had
a better job
a slimmer figure
a newer car
a better looking boyfriend
a big break
a bigger house
a more outgoing personality
not married poorly
better and richer parents.
This list could go on and on. And yes, the trill of a new relationship, the comfort of surplus money, the popularity of physical beauty are things that make life easy and enjoyable at times. But they don’t make you happy. They never will. Years ago I read Happiness Is a Choice. and thought, “could it be that simple?” As the title says, happiness IS a choice and not a circumstance.
I embraced my ability to chose happiness decades ago. It made all the difference. Yes, I still have bad days and bad seasons where I’m not myself. Winters are specially difficult for my tropical self, but for the most part, I choose to be happy. Along the way, I realized that happy people are attractive. Think about it. When we find ourselves in a room filled with strangers, we tend to gravitate to the people who are laughing, smiling and having a good time. Happiness by itself will make you more attractive.
I’m writing this post to myself today. I needed to be reminded that my circumstances should not dictate how I feel. I must confess I was getting upside down and allowing everyone and everything control how I felt. So today, I choose anew to, well, be happy. I hope you’ll join me.
Do you have a problem with the concept that happiness is a choice?