What Not to Wear at the Gym

18

For the Fashion Friday edition of my blog, I’m hitting the gym hard. Whether you work out at a private club, the Y, or a community center, your gym is a place where health, fitness and personal well being should rule the day. But it also can be a scary place where the lack of a published dress code can blur the line between appropriate sport’s attire and inappropriate and often objectionable wear.  Since we communicate a lot non-verbally with our appearance, I’m compelled to help a growing number of people who need a gym fashion intervention. The rules are always changing along with the times, but today, here’s my list of what not to wear at the gym:

bad fashion gym Maurilio Amorim blog

  • No shades in the gym. Even if you had eye surgery, stay home until you can walk around without looking like a goober.
  • Wear white shorts only if—nah, just don’t do it. No white shorts. Period. It’s safer that way.
  • If it is wider than it is tall, don’t wear it (think about it for a minute. You’ll figure it out).
  • No flip flops. No one wants to see your big toe getting smashed by a dropped dumb bell.
  • No work boots with shorts, no Uggs with Daisy Duke cutoffs or any combination thereof.
  • Wear underwear at all times. Just say no to crack.
  • No large radio headsets that resemble Princess Leah’s big hair curls. It makes you look like you’re a recently released convict who’s been in prison since 1985.
  • No wigs. Women or men.
  • No skull caps unless you’re covered in tattoos wearing leather chaps. And if you are, no one will bother you, including me.
  • No exposed nipple ring. If you’re a guy.
  • No blue-tooth headset. As a matter of fact, it applies for out of the gym as well.
  • No jammers without shorts over them unless you’re Brazilian wearing Speedo jammers in Brazil.
  • No power lifting gloves unless you’re a power lifter.
  • Always remember: Spandex is a privilege not a right

It’s your turn. What’s your on your list?

  • Great tips, not for me though… I don't even bother to GO to the gym…

    • But when you decide to go, you'll know what not to wear.

  • It frightens me to wonder if this list has been created in response to what you've experienced at your local gym….

    [and Brentwood seemed like such a nice place 😉 ]

    • I had help from my Tweeple coming up with the list, but I must confess I've seen all of that at my gym and more!

  • Tami Heim

    Looks like I need to go shopping! LOL. Only you could share this much wisdom in one post. Thanks for making me smile so early today – always a good way to start the holiday weekend. See ya at the gym!

  • 🙂

  • HaHa!! Thank you so much. As you know I run events at a lot of Y's, so I am "exposed" (yes I am actually making quotation marks with my fingers in the air). I am constantly amazed at what parades in front of me. As far as having to go into the mens locker to use the restroom, I think I finally found that switch that turns off my peripherial vision (It's given me a new found respect for women everywhere). Now if I could just find that smell switch!

    • I didn't even dealt with smell issue. That's a whole new blog post for sure!

  • Lisa M

    Forgot to DM you last night. This is more about what TO wear at the gym – the clothes you came in with! My biggest ugh! is the guy who walks in the front door and starts disrobing as he walks to the locker room. By the time he gets over by where I am on the rowing machine, he is untucked, unbuttoned and his pasty white 50 or 60 something tummy is fully exposed! Dude! This is not your house!

  • Haha!! You lost me at wig! From that point forward I was cracking up! LOL!

  • sarahaskins

    And this is why there are so many home gym infomercials…I'm loving the gold gym shorts(sarcastic snicker). You can sweat to the oldies then go to the club and dance to oldies.

  • Ha!! Hilarious!! Could we extend these recommendations to trails at the park? I mean, there are impressionable children there for God's sake!

    One point of contention: while I support the anti-crack initiative, if you are a woman wearing fitted workout pants/shorts, panty lines are not attractive. In my opinion. 🙂

    • You have a point there, Sheila. And if you're wearing cycling shorts, you're not supposed to wear underwear or you'll pay for it later.

  • haha! I was thinking the exact same thing.

  • Pingback: rowing machine benefits()

  • Pingback: Gym Bag Swag | plentyoffitz()

Share “What Not to Wear at the Gym” by Maurilio Amorim

Subscribe

Delivered by FeedBurner