Author: Maurilio Amorim

  • Trust and Competence: Leaders Must Have Both to Succeed

    Some people you trust with your life. Some people you know will get the job done. These are two essential qualities that every leader looks for in building their organization. But unless you find both trust and competence in those whom you lead, you don’t have a dynamic team who can grow your business, church, or not-for-profit. As a matter of fact, without trust and competence, the only thing you have is a mess in your hands.

    The trustworthy and yet incompetent is often the first to be hired and the last to be let go. After all, who does not love someone you can trust, someone you know will have your back and whom you do not have to worry about what they are “up to?” However, his inability to perform and deliver will catch up with him and the entire team. Sure, he’s a likeable person, but in business and even in ministry, people expect results. Good will only goes so far and then your entire organization loses credibility.

    The competent and yet not trustworthy is an equal liability. Usually these individuals are highly motivated to succeed. But his personal success and advancement are what matter the most. He is willing to throw his team mates, their boss, and the entire company under the proverbial “bus” in order to save face or advance his career. His primary concern is to take care of number one. Leaders often struggle with firing these start performers because they feel like the individual’s contribution to the organization is worth their selfish behavior. In reality it’s quite the opposite. He is not delivering your product, but his performance.

    Whether we like someone who is loyal but cannot work on the level that benefits the organization or we put up with the untrustworthy because he delivers, we are contributing to a dysfunctional work environment that demoralizes those who are both competent and trustworthy.

    What’s your experience with the trust and competence dynamic? 

     

  • Why Your Next Diet Will Fail

    Chances are you have started a new diet this week. And chances are it will fail.  I recently heard a man describe his failed diet attempt with what he called a “food coach.” His predicament is unfortunately the norm and not the exception.

    diet fail

    After seeing a friend lose close to 40 pounds, this man decided to join the same program and hired his now thinner friend’s nutrition consultant, which he named his food coach. During their first two-hour call he got the marching order on what to do for the first week, including keeping a log of all his caloric intake while using his coach’s advice on what and what not to eat. At the end of week one he had gained 7 lbs.  During the second call, his coached fired him. “Whenever you are ready, you can call me, “ he recounted the conversation to several men as he humorously chronicled his failed attempt at losing weight.

    As I thought about the incident, I know why he couldn’t lose weight. His coach was right, and he was not ready. Unless there’s a motivation tied to a goal, it’s hard for any of us to change a pattern of behavior that has defined us over a period of time.  Why should I say no to warm doughnuts on a Sunday morning? Why should I eat grilled fish when my entire family is eating fettuccine Alfredo with a loaf of bread?

    The answer to those questions will determine your ability to persevere or succumb to the temptation. And the answer might be different to each of one of us. I have some friends who are at risk for heart disease whose answers to these questions have to do more with survival than with vanity. For me, if you ask, my ability to say “no” to a lot of tasty treats has mostly to do with health but a lot of it is pure vanity. Yes, vanity.

    I love the way I feel when I’m not carrying extra weight and I’m able to run faster and get more done during the day, but I also like the way my clothes fit and how I look when I’m at my optimum weight.  I remember looking at a picture of myself 25 pounds heavier and thinking, “that’s it. I’m making a change today.” That was the beginning of a transformation. It happened over a year ago. To date, I’m still on the program.

    Whatever your motivation, you need to see the value in changing your habits and creating an achievable goal or you will, most certainly, not succeed. Hiring a nutritional coach or a personal trainer, and even buying diet pills can only help once you’ve done business with your mind, found your motivation, and set your goal.

    Do you have any health/vanity goals? How are you doing?

  • Choosing Best: When Good Is Not Good Enough

    Sometimes we need to say “no” to a good idea so we can say “yes” to the best idea.  Stephen Covey puts it this way: “It’s easy to say ‘no!’ when there’s a deeper ‘yes!’ burning inside.” While that approach to both business and personal life might make sense, and we see the validity in waiting for the best, that is no easy task for those of us living in our immediate gratification culture. We often sacrifice the best on the crucible of the good. After all, no one was ever penalized for coming up and executing a good idea. But by choosing the good, we forfeit the satisfaction, exhilaration, the mountain-top view of what only the best can provide. So then why do we settle? Here are a few reasons I do it.

    choosing the best

    I don’t know what I want. It’s easy to say yes to a marginally good idea, business, or proposition if I don’t know what I want. If I haven’t thought through an issue or opportunity, then I can go for the good and completely miss the best.

    I’m not willing to pay the price for the best. That’s perhaps the most compelling reason I face when choosing good over best. Whether it’s time, money, patience, or a combination of all of these factors, I’m too often not willing to do what it takes to get the best.

    I’ve settled long enough for the good that the best now seems unattainable. Remember when you were a child and wanted to be an astronaut, a ballerina, a cowboy, or scientist?  But now a series of life choices has brought you into more of a “reality.” The aspirations of childhood have now become the bygone dreams of an adult not rooted in reality.  And the further we live with the good, the more we feel unworthy of the best. Breaking the cycle is virtually impossible and we settle for a lesser good more often.

     How do you feel about this concept? Have you seen it play out in your work or personal life?

  • New Year’s Resolutions Revisited

    Most people who make new year’s resolutions don’t follow through with them. Statistics say only 12% of those do see their resolutions come to fruition.  I say we need a change of perspective. As a marketer, I’m a big fan of re-purposing, re-packaging something that’s still useful but has been rejected by an audience because it’s perceived as no longer relevant. Our current new year’s resolution fits the category well. Maybe we should call it an annual refocusing, but no matter the label, here’s why I think we should stop and think through what we’re doing:

    New Year's Resolution New Perspective

    Make sure you still want to go where the tracks lead you. It’s easy to realize you need a life change during a crisis. If any area of your life, such as your career, marriage, or finances are in deep trouble, you know it’s time for a major overhaul. But what happens when you’re running fast down the tracks and everything is working well, but the train is going somewhere you don’t want to go? Life has a way of subtly changing course on us. If we don’t take inventory periodically of where we are headed, we run the risk of waking up to the dreaded how-did-I-get-here realization.

    Your mind and your heart need alignment. It’s easy to fall for the power of reason. “Job A pays more than job B, so what’s your question?” I remember saying those very words to a friend years ago and causing her to take a job she didn’t want and wasn’t well suited for. It was a disaster. But beyond a job, alignment of reason and passion needs to happen in every area of our lives; otherwise we live either in dread or in an emotional roller coaster.

    Your brain leads you but your body must do the work. If you don’t take care of your body, you’ll shorten your dreams. If you’re too tired, or too sick to travel, move, lead, or play, you’ll cut your life short. I don’t want to waste years of experience, learning, and wisdom playing bingo in a nursing home.

    Make it more than just about you. By its nature, new year’s resolutions have a way of being self serving. After a while there’s only so much “me” focused improvements we can stand. What about resolving to impact others? Consider setting aside more hours this year to volunteer, or even a larger charitable goal for your giving in 2013.

    What new goal have you set this year?

  • How Men Should Wear a Scarf

    After a few weeks in hiatus, the Fashion Friday post returns. With the weather turning cold, we turn our attention to one of the most basic, and yet, stylish pieces of winter wear: the scarf.  Most of our winter garb is primarily black or dark. A colorful scarf can add style and personality to your winter clothing without breaking the bank. Most scarves are unisex, so look around your wife’s closet, you might even find something that you could pair up with an existing coat for free.

    Brad Pitt man scarf
    Brad Pitt sports a formal tied scarf
    Tom Brady and Usher man scarf
    Tom Brady and Usher wearing the casual knot
    Robert Downey Jr spices it up with a Matthew Williamson butterfly scarf
    Just in case you don’t believe you can be cool and wear a scarf

    So how do you wear your scarf? Here are a few of the most popular styles:

    Basic

    Seen on: Everyone from prep schoolers to snowmen.

    How to: Like tying your shoe—over, under, and pull.

    Formal

    Seen on: Guys in suits, Obama … and the English.

    How to: Drape around neck, tuck into sides of jacket and cross ends under your jacket’s buttons.

    Slip

    Seen on: Regulars on the Sartorialist … and Italians.

    How to: Bring ends of scarf together, wrap around neck, and pull ends through the loop.

    Loose Loop

    Seen on: LA hipsters and those not in need of real warmth.

    How to: Loop once (or twice) around neck, leaving the ends hanging at your sides.

    Bird’s Nest

    Seen on: People trying to avoid hypothermia.

    How to: Take every inch of that scarf and wrap it around any exposed skin.

    Do you wear scarves? What’s your preferred style?

  • Your Brand Promise and Your Least Paid Employee

    The larger an organization grows, the more its brand message and promise gets delivered by their lowest paid employee: the front liner.

    Whether your business is retail, food services, theme parks, or a church, those first interactions with a customer usually happen with the lowest paid person in that organization. These are part-time sales people, wait staff, hourly workers and in the case of churches, not-for-profits, and ministries, those positions are volunteers who give of their own time to serve. The challenge here is to create a effective system to screen, train, and measure the effectiveness of the front line team.

    Brand promise and the front liners

    Disney Parks figured that out a long time ago and has created an effective way to make sure that each “cast” member understands the importance they have as spokespeople for the Disney brand. Chick-Fil-A is another organization that hires and trains their front line employees to carry the company’s brand promise. Unfortunately, most all other fast food restaurants have not yet figured out how to do that and the discrepancy in experience is quite stark.

    Next time you think of your most basic hires, think of the real impact they will have in the eyes of your customer and potential customer. This implication might change your hiring and recruiting practices. It has mine.

    What’s your experience with organizations that get the importance of their front line workers and those that don’t?

  • Getting Your Way: The Art of Negotiating.

    Life is a series of negotiations. We negotiate our way through traffic, we negotiate with family, with our boss,  with a car salesman, and with our clients. Some of us are better at it than others. But whether it comes naturally and easy or whether negotiating is hard work, your negotiating skills are on the line every day. In the art of the deal, proper communication is critical. Here are a few things to consider next time you want to get your way.

    Getting your Way how to negotiate Maurilio Amorim

    Know your non-negotiables. Some things in life, such as your morals and convictions, should never be up for discussion, and they ought to be truly deal breakers. If you don’t know what they are,  you’ll always find your life in the midst of a mess. Figure out your non-negotiables before your life becomes unmanageable.

    Know what you want. I’ve seen people try to negotiate without knowing what they want out of the deal. To me that’s like my children arguing with their parents for the sake of arguing. Much like them, you are bound to be sent back to your room empty handed.

    Know what you’re willing to give up. A successful negotiation is a give-and-take situation.  Even if you get everything you want and never give up anything, the other party is often resentful. Decide what you’re willing to give up. Give the person on the other side of the table a chance to feel good about the outcome, even if what you give up is trivial or meaningless to you.

    Know how to say no with grace. There’s never a reason to be rude. You can be firm in your stance and still smile and be gracious. While you can’t control anyone else’s behavior, you certainly should keep yours in check. I’ve never heard anyone say: “I should have lost my temper in that meeting.”

    What else would you add to this list?

  • Rethinking Regifting

    Regifting is considered to be the lowest form of gift giving. After all it is passing along something that didn’t cost you anything and that you don’t particularly like. It’s less like “paying it forward” and more like “dropping it backwards.” However, I would like to offer another perspective. I would like for us to think of regifting as a very positive thing.

    regift

    If we take the position that every good gift comes from God, meaning all we are and possess, then the act of giving to others becomes a true re-gift. Think about it. My children will “buy” gifts for some of their love ones this Christmas. But neither of them has jobs, and whatever money they have is itself a gift from others, mainly their hard-working parents.

    We give because we have been given. We are able to bless because we have been blessed. We are able to love, because God first loved us.

    This Christmas think about re-gifting, but not the things you don’t like, but re-gifting the abundant blessings you have received. Remember that anything you give away– your time, your resources, your love–is something that has been given to you in the first place.

    What’s your most memorable Christmas gift?

     

  • A Dysfunctional Team? Blame the Boss

    “I just wish my team would get along,” I heard from a leader not long ago. That’s not an uncommon complaint. But the more I learn about organizational health, the more I blame the leader for getting it in such predicament.

    business fight

    In my experience, unrest, infighting among departments or ministries, or divisions within an organization can be traced back to two main factors: lack of clarity and/or organizational culture. And in either case, they are always set from the top down.

    Lack of clarity allows any good idea to be valid. Without a clear and articulable focus for your organization, any good idea is worth fighting for. I have worked with leaders who want to lead by consensus without a clear focus of identity and purpose. It’s a disaster. Usually the person with the strongest personality within the organization gets his or her way while others resent and get frustrated.

    A contentious culture will eventually render the team and the organization ineffective. Long, inflammatory emails with multiple recipients are signs that you are part of a contentious culture. The passive leader who allows for bickering and infighting among his generals creates a culture that those who are not willing to fight for everything they do will not succeed. As a matter of fact, they’ll not stay long. There’s a healthy environment where team members have the right to push back on decisions, but that’s done with respect and welcomed by everyone.

    What’s your experience with either lack of clarity or a contentious culture in your work history?

  • How I Lost Weight During The Holidays

    Last year I actually lost weight during the holidays. It was not a special diet but tweaking my eating habits that allowed me to lose 10 lbs during a time where most people gain 10 lbs. I don’t know about you, but most people come out of the holidays and into the new year broken and bloated.  Conventional wisdom begs the question, “how many pounds can I really gain between Thanksgiving and the new year?” Well, in my experience the answer is 14. Yes.  Once I gained 14 pounds in 14 days. Don’t ask. It was ugly. Last year, however, I decided to see if I could hold my weight in check during the month of parties, baked goods, and eating bonanzas. Not only was I able to keep my weight in check, surprisingly,  I was able to drop 10 lbs during the month of December. Crazy, isn’t it? Here’s how I did it.

    Losing weight during the holidays

    Don’t Stop Working Out. Keep up with your aerobic exercise.  If you aren’t doing it, then get started. I run, cycle, or do both at least 3 times a week. In the northern hemisphere the days are short and the tendency is to skip your workout. Don’t do it. Find a friend and keep each other accountable.

    Exchange a Meal. Replaced one meal per day with a high-protein smoothie. Your body needs the protein and not all the carbs. You’ll be amazed how much better you’ll fee anyway.

    Find Your Best Calorie. Not all treats, parties, or foods are created equal. Good stuff usually has a ton of calories. I’m thinking of one of my favorite appetizers, brie on croute: brie baked in puff pastry with brown sugar and pecans–about a million calories per serving. I didn’t give up the brie, but I also didn’t eat the Velveeta cheese ball or other high-caloric-and-yet-not-very-tasty treats. If I’m going to eat something high in calories and fat, I make sure it’s something I love and that’s not plastic cheese. Go ahead and be a calorie snob.

    Regulate Your Appetite. You’ve always heard not to go grocery shopping on an empty stomach. Well, I sometimes eat something high in protein and low in fat before leaving for a party that I know will feature a lot of tasty but unhealthy options. This way I’m not scarfing down a ton of sausage balls before I even realize it.

    If You Fall, Get Back on the Horse Quickly. I know too many people who upon their first diet “fail” decide that “since I already broke the program, I might as well eat whatever I want.” A few nights ago I was getting some water in the kitchen and found a box filled with goodies from a French bakery. It was late, I was weak, and the box was gone a few minutes later. I felt bad about it but decided that the next day was a new opportunity to do it right. Much like each hole in golf, each day is another opportunity to make good choices, even food choices.

    What’s your best holiday food strategy?