Maurilio Amorim

Author: Maurilio Amorim

The Liability of Being Passive

There’s a big difference between being easy going and being passive. The first allows you enjoy life more than someone who’s always worked up about the little things or the stuff he cannot control. Being passive is a problem. It assumes that the old saying “que sera, sera” or “whatever will be, will be” is true. While being easy going might be a virtue, being passive is a liability.

I have enough self awareness to know that I’m not easy going by any means. My natural tendency is to micromanage just about everything. I’d like to think I have become better with age at letting things go and trusting capable people to do their jobs. But It’s not an easy thing for me. Just ask my wife.

As I think about my propensity to be more passive than I’d like, I try to find out what motivates me not to deal with something I know needs fixing or not to pursue an opportunity with all the energy and resources available. After all it doesn’t make sense for a control freak not to want to be proactive. Or does it?

As I thought about my predicament I came up with the following formula:

control + passiveness = fear

People who are motivated by fear will fret over the smallest, most insignificant details but will avoid the confrontation, the pursuit, the push that will have the most benefit. Think about it. If we operate from a fear base and not from an opportunity base, our biggest concern is not to mess up, lose, get fired, get found out. Only when we shift our thinking from fear into possibility, then we’ll be able to move from being passive to being active. Unless we are ok with failing, we cannot move away from fear-based thinking . Ultimately, the freedom to fail drives the courage of possibility and overcomes the paralyzing fear of passivity.

The longer I live, the more I believe there’s no other way around this one. As the Bible points out we cannot serve two masters, I say we cannot have two primary motivators driving our key decisions. What I am not saying, however, is that we should throw caution to the wind and take foolish risks.

How much of control freak are you? How much do you avoid confrontation?

June 28, 2011
Building Your Personal Brand

‘You don’t have a brand. You are a brand.’ Those were words came out during a conversation with a client recently and have stuck with me for a while. If you’re not sure what I mean about brand, I defined it here. Corporate brands aside, each one of us are crafting every day what are brands are what it stands for and all the other dynamics that go with the intangibles of who we are.

Brands are created by impressions that, over time, create a picture of who we are in the mind of our audience, no matter who they are. Everything we do, say, wear, drive, matters. Our personal brand is not only the professional head shot on a blog or social media profile, but the total effect of everything we put out there. The implications are huge.

Our words matter. Language defines us more than most anything else. Words can be angry, sad, encouraging, proper, kind, blessings, curses, gossip, difficult, hopeful. Our brand is being shaped by the types of words we use.

Our appearance matters. Are we put together, fashionable, unfashionable, country, cosmopolitan, plain, starched, earthy, trendy, hipster, formal, casual? While you might not want to be labeled, people have already labeled you. It’s just human nature. We need order and, therefore, we put people in categories. While you might not have thought much about your appearance, others have already put you in a category. Ask a trusted friend. They will tell you.

Our actions matter. No matter what we say and how we dress, what we do will ultimately seal in the minds of others how they see us. There’s a trend currently that says “my personal life has nothing to do with my professional performance.” I don’t think anyone really believes that. If you’re a scoundrel in your personal life, people will ultimately, and rightfully, think you’re up to no good in your professional life.

Your personal brand is the essence of who you are. Trying to project an imagine that’s not true for the sake of building a fictitiously better you is not only exhausting but ultimately futile. I have a better suggestion. Instead of working hard to create the image, we should strive to become the brand, the person, we are trying so hard to portray. Crazy idea coming from a marketing guy, huh? But in my experience, we can make any claims we want in a marketing campaign, but unless we deliver on the promises, the campaign will fail. So let’s spend time in making the “product” what we want it to be and the branding will become a natural outflow of the real deal.

What area of your personal brand you need to focus next?

June 27, 2011
Summer Essentials: The Hybrid Boardshorts

Every man needs a good bathing suit, especially during the summer. And if you’re at the pool, lake or beach you’re always having to change into something nicer to go to a restaurant or a walk down the street. In my mind, exchanging my boardshorts for dress shorts means I’m done having fun in the water. Now, thanks to the new hybrid boardshorts, I don’t have to change from bathing suit to street wear.

While boardshorts have been a staple in men’s wear for several years and have grown in popularity, they still most worn around water. There are exceptions to the rule however, like my friend Christian, who wears them as his workout shorts. While he can pull off the boardshorts-outside-the-pool look, most guys can’t. We’d just look goofy. But then enter O’Neill to the rescue.

The hybrid boardshorts are just what the name claims: a bathing suit that looks like dress shorts. It dries fast, it has secured pockets and it looks good enough to go out in the town without a second thought. If you don’t tell, no one will suspect that you just came from the water. Well, they might smell the chlorine or the lake water if you didn’t rinse off first, but again, that’s a hygiene problem and not a fashion issue.

Last week, while on the beach, I wore my O’Neill’s hybrid and they held up great outside the water. I must say they were a bit heavier than their water-only cousins, but the small inconvenience is well worth for the ability to go from the beach, to the pool, to the movies and out to eat without having to go back to the condo.

Some come with tie strings but some look just like dress shorts

Pretty conservative for surfer wear. They even named this "The Wall Street." You can surf and make money at the same time.

Cool feature: the pockets can be zipped up while you're in the water and opened when you're ready to hit the town. However, it's hidden.

What’s your take on the hybrid boardshorts? Would you wear them out?

June 24, 2011
A Relationship Guide to Making Friends

I’m not a relationship expert by any means, but I am surrounded by great relationships with co-workers, clients, life-long friends and family. I remember, however, a time in my life where I had a difficult time making friends. What changed? I did.

I remember being so insecure that I believed I didn’t have much to offer anyone. I couldn’t imagine walking up to the “cool people” of the day and introducing myself. I used to think that I needed to be wealthy, smart, good looking–preferable all three– in order to get attention and popular friends. After all, at least the money and some expensive toys could buy a few people’s affections.

Needless to say that never worked. It wasn’t until I began to have a better understanding of who I was as a person, my true identity, that I was able to muster the confidence to get out of my self-pity bubble and engage people who I once perceived as intimidating. Before I could have successful relationships, I had to changed the way I thought about myself. Here are some of the most fundamental changes:

1. Believe I have something to offer. Regardless of my bank account balance or any professional skill set, I can be a good friend. I can listen and encourage. While that takes effort and intentionality, it’s something we all can do at any age or stage in life.

2. A smile opens doors. I found out that a simple smile broke down more barriers than the most clever opening conversational line. Walk in a strange room and smile. You’ll soon be talking with someone.

3. Show genuine interest in others. The more insecure I am the more I want to talk about my accomplishments and drop names of famous people I know or claim to know. If you want to make friends fast, get to know your new friend better and get them talking about their lives instead of yours. You’ll have a new friend in no time.

4. Don’t discriminate. I try hard not to only seek friendships with people whom I think I can benefit from. I have friends who are much older and much younger and everything in between. Some of them are very wealthy while others are just starting out their professional careers and can barely afford rent. Yet, I have never been in any relationship that I have not been blessed by my friends. Whatever I end up giving, I usually get so much more back.

What else would you add to this list?

June 22, 2011
The Gift of Summer Solstice: Daylight

Today is a special day for me:It’s the Summer solstice. I’m not a sun or nature worshiper, but I love summer because I love daylight. I’m energized by getting a lot done in a day, and there’s nothing that says carpe diem more than the longest day of the year. In the northern hemisphere it happens to be today. We’ll have 14h 37m 25s worth of light in beautiful Brentwood, TN. And I’m going to celebrate it by squeezing everything I can out of this long day.

But as I try to curb my enthusiasm, I understand that not everyone feels the same about it. While I’ll be up at 4:30 so that by 5:00 I can be running the neighborhood before hitting the gym at 6 and getting to work by 8 a.m., some are dreading the long day.

I don’t know where you are on this one, but however difficult yesterday might have been today is a new day. Much like golf, which I hope to find a way to play later on, where each hole is a new beginning, each day is an opportunity to start fresh. Sure our problems, challenges and difficulties don’t vanish overnight, but a new day brings along with it hope. Nothing seems more hopeful to a Brazilian than a very long sunny summer day.

Whether you have given any thought to the summer solstice or not, I’d like for you to think of all the great things you can accomplish with the extra daylight today and join me in a celebration of the gift of hope this day brings.

What are you going to do with the extra daylight?

June 21, 2011
Getting a Handle on Life Storms

The storm was at full force by the time I finished my run. All I could see were dark clouds, lighting and rain all around me. It always amazes me how storms come out of nowhere, and in a matter of minutes can wreak so much havoc. Life’s storms often behave the same way.

You’re going through your daily routine and then there’s a call or a text message and everything changes. As if you were out for a walk in the beautiful sunshine and before you knew, the skies turned to gray and a storm catches you by surprise. Do you know what I’m talking about? If you live long enough you will. Those moments are not easily forgotten. I remember conversations, texts and calls where in an instance, everything changed. Words like “accident, I’m leaving, this is not working out, you’re overdrawn” have a way to instantly create a huge downpour on our sunny day.

But I also noticed something about storms. They don’t last forever. Some last long enough to do a lot of damage, but they eventually go away. By their own nature, storms are never permanent. My natural tendency is to forget that. No matter how many storms I have gone through, once I’m caught in one, I tend to live in the moment making long-term decisions during a short-term crisis.

I’m not sure you’re going through a personal storm right now. We are either in one, coming out of one or waiting for one to pop up. But here’s how I have been handling them:

1. Take care of the immediate.

2. Don’t make long-term decisions to fix short-term problems.

3. Learn from the experience.

4. Understand another storm will come. It’s not a matter of “if”, but of “when.”

5. Enjoy life during the sunny days knowing you’ll be better prepared for the next one.

How did you handle your last storm?

June 20, 2011
Overqualified and Underpaid: Your Career Detour

So you’re doing a job you are over qualified for. That’s not that uncommon these days. I have friends who are working in positions they had mastered several years back. They have more education, experience, skill and knowledge than the job requires, and yet, they find themselves performing tasks that those whom worked for them used to do. Whether you are in this situation because of a life transition, a re-entry into the work force or a corporate restructure, you might be tempted to be frustrated and even disillusioned. Before you get too discouraged consider:

You are not defined by what you do. For most guys this is easier said than done. We often have too much of our identity tied up in our careers. I know I do. I often need to be reminded that who I am as a person is much more important than what I do as a professional.

Strong performance gets rewarded. Starting over is not fun because there’s no challenge in doing something you’ve done before, but it also allows you not to make some of the same mistakes and to move faster through familiar territory. Performers get noticed and rewarded. Do a good job and soon you’ll be back at the varsity team.

There’s purpose and meaning even in life’s detours. Some of my greatest professional and personal accomplishments have come from the seemingly disastrous. I would have not started The A Group without being asked to leave a business I helped start and that owed me a lot of money I never saw. Sometimes the detour is a blessing in disguise. I know that’s not much consolation while you’re in the early days of the detour, but if you stick with it long enough, you’ll be able to see the positive in it.

Are you, or have you been in a career detour situation?

June 14, 2011
Reading to Rest the Mind

Today I did something I have not done in a long time.

I read fiction.

I read fiction that I didn’t have to read.

I read fiction that was not a client’s submission or a potential author I’m considering representing.

I didn’t skim the book. I read every word.

I purposely put aside all the other reading I “have” to get done on vacation and got lost in a story under an umbrella on the beach. I had no idea how much I needed to rest my mind from going into so many different directions, even if was just for a few hours.

When did you last take time to read a novel? When was the last time you got lost in a story?

If you had asked me that a few days ago, I would not have known how to answer it. I hope you don’t take as long as I did to rest your mind on a good story.

June 13, 2011
Legacy Christian Organizations and the Irrelevance Spiral

The essence of communication is to understand your product, your audience and to present your product in a way your audience can understand it. Simple, right? Well, not in my experience with legacy Christian organizations. Some are losing the battle with culture and relevance.

First, let me define legacy organizations: movements, groups and churches that are in their second or third generations of existence. Some critics have accused these legacy organizations of becoming irrelevant thus finding themselves in trouble trying to recruit new followers, fund their programs and budgets and survive, much less thrive, in current economic challenges. But that’s not what I see happening in the American Christian landscape. While some might be out of touch, most of these ministries are led by godly men and women who are passionate about evangelism, missions, discipleship, social justice and serving and are trying very hard to advance the cause of the Gospel.

So, what gives? Most legacy Christian organizations in America suffer, not from a lack of vision and mission, but most of them suffer from a communication crisis. Often they know what their mission is and, for the most part, they know whom they are trying to reach. Their failure, however, lies in communicating with their target audience in a way it wants to receive the information. After decades of existence, these organizations tend to communicate their story, purpose, and mission in the language and images of their founders. Seldom I see a legacy organization change the way they present themselves in a format that reflects new societal values and attitudes while remaining true to their calling.

After decades of existence, legacy organizations tend to communicate their story, purpose, and mission in the language and images of their founders.

While I’m not advocating changing your heart to appeal to culture, I am a big fan of contextualizing your message so it’s heard and understood by society. Every successful missionary has learned this lesson: you must speak a language your culture understands and can response to. Don’t wasted time arguing how people should think and behave. Whether you and I like it or not our culture is changing and some of those changes are difficult to understand–for example, how children who are born in Christian homes, attend Christian schools and when asked about if there’s such a thing as absolute truth, profess their belief in situation ethics: “my parents’ truth is not necessarily my truth.” I don’t like it, but I can’t ignore this trend if my job is to communicate with them. I need to craft my message with that reality in mind.

How do you know if you’re communicating your message properly? Go outside your bubble and tap into people who will tell you the truth. Find those whom you are trying to reach who are not insiders and ask them their honest opinion of how you’re doing. Ask them “how would you describe our organization to someone who never heard of us?” Or, “what do you think we’re all about?” You’ll be surprise by the answers if you’re brave enough to ask the right people.

Are you familiar with an organization that needs to rethink its message? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

June 8, 2011
Positioning Your Church

Positioning is becoming a hot issue with growing churches. While most of the private sector has always struggled with positioning their business in the minds of consumers, churches have not given it much thought until recently. With the proliferation of interdenominational, community, or fellowship-type of churches, positioning a church clearly in their mind of the community has become a very complicated task for church leaders.

Just the other day I overhead the following conversation:

“Where are you going to church these days?”
“Hope Community Church.”
“Oh, isn’t that a Baptist church that has dropped ‘Baptist’ from its name?”
“I don’t think so-people raise their hands during worship.”
“It’s a charismatic church, then!”
“No, I don’t think so, either. I think we’re somewhere between a Baptist and Pentecostal church.”

Well, Hope Community Church is suffering from poor positioning. I’m sure the leadership of the church purposely chose a name that would be positive and inviting, free of potential negative denominational baggage. However, it also chose a name that does not clearly communicate its core values or foundational beliefs. Some might not visit Hope Community because they fear a charismatic encounter, while others might go away disappointed. While the name Hope Community is a strong name, this church would be well served by stronger brand positioning.

Defining Expectations

For a long time, denominational tags were a great way to set up expectations. Most of the time you can walk into an Episcopal church with confidence knowing what to expect. There are some exceptions, obviously. I once had the privilege of worshipping with a charismatic Episcopal church -what a treat! I had never seen people speak in tongues during a “processional.” But for the most part, the Episcopal name carries with it an expectation of liturgical services.

These days, though, denominational tags can work against you if your church is not typical. A friend recently visited a St. Louis area church, and pronounced it “the most lively Lutheran church I’ve ever been to.” In that church’s case, they have a positioning issue: the sign says “Lutheran,” but you wouldn’t have known it by attending a service. So to avoid confusion, some sense of positioning would help to continue to define that church.

Maximizing Potential

Hope Community Church is neither Baptist nor Pentecostal, but it has a dynamic worship style and attracts both seekers and Christians who are looking for an authentic community of faith. If you find yourself in the same predicament – misunderstood, therefore mispositioned by the very people you are trying to attract – here are a few options to consider:

Use a brand statement that helps define your church. Find words that are descriptive of your local church culture. Use a brand statement that delivers on your promises. I’ve worked with a congregation that uses “Connecting Faith and Life” They are passionate about preaching that communicates with those who are outside the faith and are trying to make sense of Christianity. Their brand promise focus on helping people in a practical way.

Be up front. If your name or brand statement doesn’t position you well, then be more descriptive in your advertising. For example, you might say something like, “Hope Community uses contemporary, dynamic music in our worship.”

Use visuals that reinforce the message. Your logo, images and illustrations that accompany the written message are just as important, if not more important, than the message. Visuals will communicate volumes about the culture of your church, therefore helping to position your church in the mind of a future member. Your brand statement might say “everyday people,” but if your pictures reflect a microcosm-perfect families and perfect smiles-that says just the opposite. A potential visitor might say, “This is not at all like my family!” and regretfully decide, “I guess I don’t belong.”

Positioning your church is no longer a luxury reserved for “trendy” or mega churches these days. Whether your church has a denominational tag that poorly describes who you are, or your church gets lumped into the great chasm of the faceless interdenominational churches, it’s your job to help position your ministry in the minds of the people you are trying to reach. One of the greatest mistakes you can make is to assume that your church sign or newspaper ad is doing the job of clearly communicating your true identity. It takes consistent thinking and a communications strategy to help position your church so you can maximize your ministry potential.

How well positioned is your church?

June 6, 2011