Maurilio Amorim

Month: October 2010

  • Stupid Stuff Christian Men Should Never Say on a Date

    I’ve been asked to write about how Christian men should communicate on dates by some of the single readers of this blog (all 3 of them). Since I have not been single in over 20 years, I’ve asked my friend KelcieKay Sberna to help me out by sharing her experience in the dating scene. Here’s her account.

    This is a list that I have compiled over the past couple years; years filled with bad dates and creepy suitors. I have a career in ministry so I find that my dates are usually evangelical men 25-30 years of age. These are all actual accounts from my dates, however fictitious they might sound. I will marry the man of God who doesn’t commit any of the following crimes.

    Sending flowers the day of the date is an excellent idea. However, attaching a note that says “Imagine how much more romantic I will be later” is not.  You might as well have written “I’m going to lock you in a basement and make a coat of your skin.”

    Words of affirmation may not be your love language. But please don’t throw out compliments like: “You’re beautiful! And the cool thing is that my mom used to say, ‘where beauty lacks in one area of the body it will usually make up for it in another area.’ So you are blessed!” What the heck is that supposed to mean?!?!

    Speaking of mothers, it’s always a good sign when a son treats his mother well. It tells a lot about how he treats women. However, “my mother is sexy. I hope my wife looks like her some day. Can I see a picture of your mom?” is just wrong.

    I don’t mind movie buffs; however, asking me if I am on Team Jacob or Team Edward and then giving me a 6-point thesis as to why I should be on Team Edward will assure you of no second date. At least not a with a female.

    A good Christian man should always take the lead and bless the food before dinner.  But please, do not pray this prayer out loud during the date: “And God, should this be the woman I am to marry, please let her spirit speak to her quickly, as the spirit has already spoken to me. For you are the ultimate matchmaker. And bless the food and conversation, amen.” CHECK PLEASE!

    What’s the worst date moment of your life?

  • Self Discipline Is Not Enough: How I Get My Butt Out of Bed at 4 AM

    If you follow me on Twitter or somewhere else in social media, you might have noticed my early morning posts, usually between 4 to 5 a.m. about going on a run or hitting the gym for a workout. There’s always a comment from someone saying “I don’t know how you do this. You must have a lot of self-discipline.” The truth is that I have some self-discipline, but what I have most is a built-in system of accountability and expectations.

    Maurilio Amorim Tammy Gray John Frazinelli Karen McCuctheon
    Running Friends: Tammy Gray, John Frassinelli, and Karen McCutcheon

    Left on my own, I can justify staying in bed every morning and postponing my workouts until later in the day. But with my busy agenda at work, heavy travel schedule and family responsibilities, I know that if I don’t exercise early in the morning, I won’t do it at all. Most days getting out of bed at 4:30 for a run in the dark is 10% inspiration and 90% accountability.

    Over the past few years I have developed strategic relationships to keep me accountable to 1. show up and 2. push myself beyond my comfort zone. Not only some of these people have become great friends, they have inspired and trained me into becoming a better long-distance runner, and a stronger, overall healthier person. All of it without spending a dime on personal training.

    Maybe Hillary Clinton was right, and it does take a village to raise a child, and, I might add, keep us accountable.

    What part of your life needs more accountability than self discipline?

    What are you going to do about i?

  • Are We Creating a Better Version of Ourselves Online?

    Last week I got several messages from Twitter and Facebook friends about getting together during the Catalyst conference. Unfortunately my schedule was packed with meetings in-between sessions and dinner appointments, and I wasn’t able to  meet many of my digital friends face to face. Since then my insecurities have taken hold of me and whispered, “maybe it was for the best. You’re a lot better looking and more interesting online than in real life.”

    Are we creating a better version of ourselves online

    That thought has stayed with me for days now and I can’t seem to shake it. I overheard a co-worker say that she is often disappointed when meeting celebrities in real life situations because they never live up to her expectations. Ok, I’m not a celebrity–I have no paparazzi following me, or even a friendly stalker–but the comment forced me to ask the question, “have I created a better version of myself online?” I’m not sure I can objectively answer that question.

    I want to believe that my online persona is who I am, but somewhat self-edited and on my best behavior, and not a carefully constructed caricature  of the person I wish I were. We all have heard of truth in advertising, but what about truth in social media persona?

    How should we manage putting our best “digital” foot forward without fabricating a bogus online identity?

  • Is Self Promotion Evil?

    Most Christian leaders I know struggle to find balance in life. They need to find the proper ratio between work and family time, the balance between eating and exercising.  But while most of us would agree that family always comes before work and that overeating and poor exercise habits are not good for anyone, Christian leaders struggle with the elusive, apparently evil, but frequently necessary need for self-promotion. Is self-promotion a symptom of a prideful heart, a necessary evil of ministry, or a simple tool to achieve a mean?

    self promotion, marketing, personal brand

    Well, it depends.

    I’m not trying to be evasive when I say, “it depends.” As both a communications expert and a literary agent, I help my clients  develop a platform where their resources (books, videos, blogs, curricula) can be consumed. One of the very first questions publishers ask me about a new author is, “what type of platform does he or she have?”

    “But isn’t creating an audience the job of a marketer?” You might ask. Yes, it is, but the content, specially Christian content, cannot be divorced from the content provider and thus both the author as well as the product must be promoted.

    Frequently I hear that such and such pastor or author has gone overboard with their self promotion. That translates to me as:  that person is doing a good job in getting his or her message out. “But that’s vanity!” some have argued.

    Here’s how I see it: The act of self promotion itself is amoral, meaning void of moral meaning. It’s neither good or bad. But it’s absolutely necessary in order to develop a platform, engage culture and grow a church or movement because the message cannot be divorced from the messenger. The motivation for self-promotion, however, is key.

    As an author, business owner and Christ-follower, I understand the need to reach out to an ever-growing audience so I can have a deeper impact. “Oh, but I have seen people buy into their own PR and become horrible divas.” Yes, so have I. But that’s God’s problem, not ours. I cannot and will not judge someone else’s motivations and neither should you.  I can only comment on people’s actions and behaviors. When those whom are close to me behave unbecomingly, I’m the first one to call them on it. Otherwise, I want to help them unapologetically seize every opportunity, take every interview, kiss every baby, shake every hand and smile for every photo opp that comes their way so that their life-giving message can get out before as many people as possible.

    I know this is an emotionally-charged subject and difficult to navigate, but am I off base?

  • 5 Books Every Entrepreneur Must Read

    “I’m thinking about starting a business but I’m not sure how to go about it.” I hear this phrase quite often these days. People who find themselves out of a job and contemplating starting a new business, or  those who are trying to pursue their dreams, often find themselves at the brink of a new venture not knowing what to do next. In my experience most new businesses fail not because of lack of talent, work ethic or drive. I have seen a lot of hard-working, talented people fail because they don’t understand the “business” part of their craft.

    Figuring out how to deliver a great product is only part of your business dilemma. You need to understand concepts like scalability,  sustainability, and cash-flow management. While those things might not be the “sexy” part of you do, they are vital to its survival.

    Here are 5 books every business owner, ministry leader, entrepreneur should read. If you’re thinking about starting a new business, then this list is a must.

    EMyth Revisited by Michael E. Gerber . I don’t care who you are, if you’re leading or thinking about leading any organization, you need to read this.

    7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey. This book has helped me tremendously through the years on setting priorities.

    How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. The title says it all.

    Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill . Don’t let the title fool you, this book will help you understand the power of a vision.

    Blue Ocean Strategy: How to Create Uncontested Market Space and Make Competition Irrelevant by W. Chan Kim and Renée Mauborgne  If you’re ready to be a “game changer” you need to read this book.

    What other book should this list include?


  • Thoughts on My Catalyst Conference Experience

    This past week I attended Catalyst Conference in Atlanta, GA. Some 13 thousand Christian leaders came together for 3 days of  meetings that featured, Pastors, businessmen, marketers and thought leaders. While I wouldn’t attempt to review or summarize the conference, I decided to share with you a few random thoughts:

    Catalyst Conference 2010 Maurilio Amorim
    Michael Gungor Band on the Catalyst Stage

    • Authenticity from Christian leaders is no longer a novelty, it’s the norm. The days of the bully pulpit are over.
    • I’m truly optimistic about a new generation of Christian leaders whose commitment to living out their faiths encourages my own walk. They are bright, resourceful and committed. I hold out a lot of hope for them.
    • There’s a strong movement to give away resources and tools to the Christian community at large. Generosity seems to be making its way into the evangelical church.
    • Evangelicals have embraced the under-resourced, exploited, and downtrodden. Social justice seems no longer the banner of the liberal left. It feels like we have decided to take “all” of Jesus’ commandments to heart after all.
    • Christians seem to look more like the communities they come from: piercings, tattoos, fedora hats. It seems for the first time in a long time that thankfully we have de-homogenized the Christian “look.”
    • No matter how much technology or production-value any given session or speaker has, content and delivery are still king. You might have the coolest presentation or a best-selling book, but the most memorable moments are the ones that connect  with both your heart and mind.

    I’m curious. What changes have you noticed in American Christianity during the past decade?

  • Sometimes Your Best Sales Strategy is a Party

    If you have ever met me in person, you know that I’m highly relational. I’m truly blessed to work with people I like. I’m at the stage in my career that I don’t have to pursue relationships that are only financially motivated. This year, instead of paying for a booth at the Catalyst Conference (13 thousand Christians leaders meeting for 3 days in Atlanta), I opted to have a small gathering of clients, friends and even some new friends at a restaurant near the arena. Everyone seemed to have had a great time. I loved it. It was a great fit for my personality and the type of work our branding and development team does: focused, personal and relational. By the end of the evening, our friends and clients were talking unsolicited about the value we bring to them to our new friends and potential clients.

    with Greg Surratt and Shawn Wood

    Maurilio-Amorim-Pete-Wilson-Tami-Heim-Shannon-Litton
    with Pete Wilson, Tami Heim and Shannon Litton
    lively conversation around the dinner table

    I realized years ago that strategy is not a commodity you can peddle at a trade-show booth. In order for me or anyone in my team to be effective, we have to have a deep connection and trust with our clients. That’s the nature of strategic consulting: it’s difficult, often emotional, and a trusted friend is always more effective in these situations than a paid consultant. I decided long ago I was going to be a trusted friend to my clients. That decision has served me well.

    How are you cultivating and growing relationships in your business?

  • The Law of Reciprocal Attraction

    Don’t worry, I have not read “The Secret,” and this is not a scientific post. This is however, an observational and experiential commentary on something I have seen happen in my own life with surprisingly positive results. I call it the law of reciprocal attraction. What am I talking about? Simply put, the law of reciprocal attraction can be summarized in the following equation:

    positive attitude + interest in others = goodwill

    The meetings  and exchanges where I have previously decided to enjoy, as in, “this is going to be a good meeting”  and have intentionally focused my attention on others in the room and away from myself, are the  most enjoyable, productive and often lucrative. I don’t have any scientific data to back up my assertion but my positive attitude combined with a genuine interest in others create a reciprocal attraction.

    I’m convinced that a positive attitude alone is not enough because oftentimes people can mistake your positive outlook and confidence for arrogance. That usually changes quickly when you genuinely focus your energy towards the other person or people in the room. Time and again, I have seen this law at work in my life as a consultant and business owner. I think Jesus was on to something when he said: “Whoever desires to become great among you, let him be a servant.”

    How does the law of reciprocal attraction resonate with you?

  • Is Your Leadership Style Killing Your Organization?

    Leadership drives everything we do. Great leaders take us into the future with their ability to see what’s not yet reality and inspire and motivate us to get there.  As a consultant who has worked with hundreds of  business and church leaders, I have noticed that often great leaders have to retool their own leadership or management style in order to continue to grow their organization. This leadership retooling is both painful and necessary. These are leadership styles that if you don’t grow beyond them will stop your organization from getting to the next level:

    Is your leadership style killing your organization?

    The Funnel. Everything needs to come through your desk. Nothing gets approved, financed or blessed unless you are involved. That’s a sure way to keep a good thing from growing. This usually happens because the leader doesn’t trust his or her team and feels that he’s the best person for the job– every job, that is.

    The Albatross. You fly in, crap on everybody and fly out. Yep. I’ve worked for this guy before, and let me tell you, it’s no way to lead an organization. Everyone is always on alert because, at any moment, you might go off and tell the entire team what a bunch of losers they are. Your team lives in fear long enough to find another job or begin drinking hard liquor, at lunch time, on church premises.

    Mr. Happy Talk. You’re the opposite of the Albatross, but equally ineffective. You just want to love your team into doing their jobs and hate to see conflict, so you do a lot of happy talk with very little or no real deadlines and assigned responsibilities. The low performing staff members love you, but you’ll frustrate the the high-capacity, high-performance team members who want to get beyond the status quo.

    The Dictator. You give your staff freedom to accomplish a task just the way you instructed them. And everyone is allowed their opinion as long as it’s the same as yours. You’ll surround yourself with “doers” but the “thinkers” will not work for you long.

    Mr. Paradox. Do as I say and not as I do. You often say one thing and end up doing another. You are prone to “forget” promises or agreed upon courses of actions. Your team will lose trust in you and realize that you’re not on their corner. There’s only one corner and that’s yours.

    Look Shiny! You implement change faster than it takes the cast of The Jersey Shore to get drunk on one of their shows. But halfway through your plan, you come up a new shiny idea, so you chase that for a while only to see another opportunity and. . . you get the point.  You wear everyone out and nothing ever gets done well, since no plan is fully executed.

    Have I missed any leadership type? What’s the best and/or worst leader you’ve worked for?

  • I Need Community and So Do You

    I was planning on running 9 miles yesterday morning. I ended up running 12. What happened? I was encouraged  (or shamed) into going further than I anticipated. But at the end of the run, I was better off for it. I had a strong sense of accomplishment and both my heart and waist benefited from the extra mileage. However, if it weren’t for the power of community, I would probably done less than the 9 I had originally intended to do.

    Some people like to run, exercise, eat and often do life alone. I’m not one of them. I’m convinced that even these lone wolves could benefit from being part of an encouraging community. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten out of bed at 4:30 am on a cold winter morning because I knew my running partners would be waiting for me at the park entrance. I didn’t want to let them down. I also didn’t want to give them any more material to give me a hard time.

    So it’s part motivation, part encouragement and part accountability but, as a whole, it’s a fuller, more enjoyable life. When you live in community, whether it be part of a running group, a member of  Bible study, or serving team, you find opportunities to bless and be blessed and to experience life in a way I believe God intended.

    Last week I noticed that one of my Twitter friends whom I have not met face-to-face yet was moving to Nashville. During a recent tweet he asked about places to run. I promptly invited him to join our early morning group expecting him to blow us off like most sane people do. After all who wants to get up before the chickens? But he came, and we spent some great time together learning about each other’s story. He also was introduced to a dozen new running friends in this new strange city.

    Are you in community? What has it done for you? If you have not, what’s stopping you?