Month: March 2010

 There’s not much to say about this product only that it will save my marriage. After years of conflict and misery over my love of Mexican food and its unfortunate side effects, a solution has been found: The Better Marriage Blanket.

I’m buying stock in the company. If this thing works, I have a feeling it will be huge for Mexican food lovers everywhere.

Are you joining me in purchasing one? Who in your family is the most “deserving” person for the blanket?

It’s holy week for Christians everywhere and for me, it’s the week I see some of the worst direct mail pieces come in my mailbox from churches inviting people to their Easter Services. This year is no exception. It’s only Monday and I already had my share of poorly conceived and designed post cards. So here’s 2010’s top ways to ruin your Easter mailer based on actual fail attempts I’ve personally received:

1. Fail to include your website, or if you do, misspell the address. Yes, even today people still don’t proofread their mailers. I’m looking at a mailer with a wrong website address. 
2. Include a bad picture of the preacher and his wife. Since most people decide on the church based on their perception of the teaching pastor, I can understand using the pastor’s picture on a mailer; however, if you print a bad, unflattering picture, like the one on my desk right now, then it works against you.  “What’s going on with this man and his wife?” is the first thought that went through my mind. In a world where Photoshop is readily available to anyone, there’s no excuse for a lame picture.
3. Leave the whole back of postcard blank. Most people don’t realize that your target audience has a 50/50 chance of seeing the front of your mailer. The back of your mailer should hold more than your address. It’s often the first, and perhaps, only panel people will see. 
4. Tell me you’ll be preaching from the King James Version of the Bible.  Yes, of all the claims you can make about the gospel and its power, your love for the KJV surpasses them all and no doubt, will draw thousands to your Easter service. For most unchurched people your translation preference is as irrelevant as your obvious lack of biblical education.
5. Fail to say anything about your church. Some of these mailers landing on my desk don’t say a word about the church, their children’s program, or what they care about. Don’t assume that people either 1) know or 2) care about your church. It’s your story to tell and not their job to find out. Own your own story and let people know what God has called you to do. Well, at least if your church has a calling from God.

What’s the worst church mailer you’ve seen?

This is part of my random Friday collection. I don’t know what to say about this video, but it is as captivating as it is scary. It beckons you to watch it much like a train wreck that horrifies and yet compels you to keep looking and watch it some more.

How would you describe this experience?

This week my whole family had to make a trek to the main Nashville post office on Royal Oaks Blvd, a 45-minute drive with two smelly boys and another two of their equally smelly friends. The boys needed new passports and the only way to renew them was for the whole family to appear live at the post office (I tried talking Gwen into conferencing me in with a laptop but she just gave me “the look”). I wasn’t looking forward to the whole ordeal, but I underestimated the postal service’s ability to disappoint. 

We show up at 5:25 knowing that the passport window closes at 6. The line was 8 people deep and the lonely employee inside the small room was, well, slower than molasses. Gwen, in order to expedite the process, had pre-filled all the necessary paperwork she picked up at our local branch beforehand.

Twenty minutes later we hear a voice of another postal employee loudly addressing those of us in line. “Make sure you have your forms filled out.” Ok we did. “Make sure the forms are filled out in black ink.” What? black ink? We looked over the forms and there were no directions about filling them out in black ink anywhere.

By this time we were next in line to visit with Mr. Molasses so Gwen asked “Where does it say black ink?” Without looking the man yelled “There’s a sign at the door.” Well the sign was a handwritten piece of 8×10 paper taped to the glass window a few feet from us that said “Use black ink on forms.” Flustered and fearful of having to go to the back of the line again, or worse, have to return another day, Gwen said, “I’m sorry but there’s nothing on this form that says that. I already filled out all the paperwork in blue ink.” His response was something I didn’t anticipate, even from a disgruntled postal worker: “Lady, do you want passports or not?” So Gwen and I scrambled to refilled all the paperwork in black ink while I was thinking of several responses to his statement–none of which I can write on this post.

The more I thought about the incident, the more I’m convinced that monopolies of any kind are never good for anyone. If I want to get a passport, I have to use the post office whether I have good service or whether some jerk decides to be disrespectful to my wife. If a restaurant serves me bad food, I don’t have to go back. If I don’t get good service at Home Depot, I will go Lowe’s or vice versa.

Competition has a way to sharpen us, to help us do what we do better because if we don’t, someone else will. The free enterprise system gives everyone the chance to succeed or fail based on their own performance. But unless you’re the government, you have to continue to improve and create value for your customers.

So what can the organization you belong to (whether a business or church or ministry) do better in order to remain viable? Also feel free to share your sucky post office story!

Communication happens long before you open your mouth. Whether you’re a presenter, a salesman, a preacher, or a guest, people will make categorical judgments based on how you look long before you have a chance to have a meaningful engagement. It might not be fair, but, nonetheless, it’s what happens. You can choose to deal with it or live with the consequences.

Recently I had a meeting at a very conservative client’s office where I was supposed to meet with a new team and the CEO. I dressed appropriately to the occasion, a suit and tie. But I forgot that I was meeting a potential new client, an author, during one of my afternoon meetings. Interestingly, one of her first observations was “I expected you to be dressed more casually, since you’re in marketing.”

Some might say that you need to be yourself, dress the way you want and be done with it. No need to try to impress people (as my 15 year old will argue when I tell him: “no, you’re not wearing that”). I disagree. I believe you should be yourself but dress appropriately to whatever environment you’re trying to impact.

Some clients will discredit me if I show up in a suit for a meeting. In their minds, I could not relate to their, cutting-edge business or ministry. They would see me, at least initially, as old school and not relevant. Others, however, would feel very nervous taking strategic and creative direction from someone wearing faded jeans and a white belt (ok, even I feel nervous about the white belt–it only lasted a short season). So why should you fight an insignificant battle or begin your engagement at a “deficit” of influence just because of what you’re wearing? You can still be yourself and dress appropriately to the occasion.

Interestingly my personal sense of style allows me to wear anything from suits to jeans without losing my own identity. For example, I don’t have to wear dated, doubled breasted suits to a meeting. Personally, I like the more tapered, smaller lapel and thinner pant-leg suits that are currently popular.

How much thought do you give about what you wear?