When I left Brazil for the life I now have I didn’t leave well. In wanting to hold on to my fond memories, I decided not to say goodbye to anyone. After all, what would a “high dose of sentimentality accomplish anyway,”  I reasoned.  So I walked out of the only life I had ever known without much ado. It’s been decades since that time. I have never stop regretting it. There’s an art to saying goodbye.  Whether you’re walking away from a job, a relationship or moving away, there are a few things you should consider. I wish I had thought about them long ago: Celebrate the good times. Even if leaving was not your idea, or you’re finally able to walk away from a bad situation, or you’ve had enough from your jerk of a boss, take inventory and celebrate what you can. Most relationship, (and yes, work…

“I’m not sure what to do next with my life.” It’s a familiar phrase I hear quite often these days. The economic downturn has created uncertainties and opportunities. People have lost jobs. Career paths that seemed promising a few years ago are now no longer viable. Quite often I talk with people whose lives are at a crossroads–sometimes of their choosing, most often not. Recently I heard Phil Cooke speak briefly about four questions we all should ask before deciding what to do next. 1. What comes easy for you? That’s what you are naturally gifted at doing. 2.What are you passionate about? What gets your pulse to quicken and your eyes to light up? 3. What do you hate? Perhaps you should solve that problem. 4. What do you want to leave behind? That’s your legacy…what you want to be remembered by. Even if you are not looking to…

“Every leader must learn that just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you should.” That’s what I came up with after the lady asked me to write down my favorite quote. Nothing had come to mind but that statement. That was it. Of all the books I’ve read and of all the people I’ve studied, is that THE quote? Come on. But it has stuck with me over the past few weeks since the incident. As I think back in my professional career, I have lived and continue to live that statement. As a matter of fact, the more I’m able to apply it to my life, the more successful I become. I remember the first time that I decided to stop fixing the office printer early in my career. Yes, I could do it, but so could someone else and my time was best served elsewhere. It’s not…

I was stuck in my career until David Foster offered me a job based on the potential he saw in me. Late into my twenties, I worked on the staff of a small, traditional congregation, but my heart yearned to reach those outside the faith with a non-traditional approach to church. My experience, however, showed a completely different type of ministry. During that time I felt like being in a no-man’s land where my desires and opportunities were not in sync. David’s vote of confidence in my abilities was the catalyst that changed the course of my entire career. Sometime in the early hours of Monday, David woke up in heaven. He was only 58. During my nearly seven years of working for him, I learned a lot from Dave, but a few of these lessons are salient in my mind today. Church should be a safe place for the…

I want to live and  die like Andy Rooney. This past week he passed away at the age of 92. After watching Mr. Rooney’s life from my seat in front of the TV since I was a child, I have come to the realization that when it came to work, he got it right. I never met Andy Rooney or knew much about his personal life or religious views. That’s not the point of this post. But here’s what he taught me about life over the decades as I saw him on my tv. He taught me that I need to love what I do. There was no question Andy loved his job. At get 92 in this final interview, Mr. Rooney answered the if-you-had-to-do-it-over question with a simple answer: I would have been a journalist; I would have worked for 60 minutes. In other words, he would have it…

So you’re doing a job you are over qualified for. That’s not that uncommon these days.  I have friends who are working in positions they had mastered several years back. They have more education, experience, skill and knowledge than the job requires, and yet, they find themselves performing tasks that those whom worked for them used to do. Whether you are in this situation because of a life transition, a re-entry into the work force or a corporate restructure, you might be tempted to be frustrated and even disillusioned. Before you get too discouraged consider: You are not defined by what you do. For most guys this is easier said than done. We often have too much of our identity tied up in our careers. I know I do.  I often need to be reminded that who I am as a person is much more important than what I do…

“If you deliver on what you’re asked to do, even if you’re not passionate about it, you will earn the right to do thing you love.” That was part of my answer to the young man who asked me, “What advice would you give someone wanting to go into the church communication field?” As I reflect on that answer, I believe it applies to anyone starting out a new career. I remember talking with someone who confessed not being very good at his job because it wasn’t challenging and not at the level he wanted it to be. He did the minimum required because he felt under-utilized, doing work well below his skill and intelligence capacity. His boss had a different take, “he’s lazy,” said the man to me. “I had a lot of faith in him and wanted to give the kid more important work, but at the end…

I have been thinking about some of the business advice I have given lately to clients and friends. One in particular sounds out of place. It doesn’t fit neatly in the “business” category but in my experience it has more to do with business than most any other nugget of help I have both given or received from someone. Perhaps the greatest impact in my business career has been whom I chose to marry. I cannot tell you how fortunately I am to have married well–“Way out of your league” as a friend once reminded me. This personal decision has had a greater impact in my business career than any other single choice. Being married to Gwen has allowed me to pursue my dreams to a degree I would never had done alone, and much less if I had married a lesser person. Marrying well will: Provide encouragement to to…

Lately I have spent time with several friends on their careers. The tough economy, life transition and leadership issues have forced some of my friends to reconsider their current employment.  It’s not uncommon for what you thought to be your dream job turn into your living nightmare. Over the years I have heard plenty of times, “I was hired to do one thing and now my job is doing something completely different.” It happens–more so these days than ever before.  While I empathize with their pain ( I have been there before)  I usually tell them: Don’t run away from a bad situation. Instead run toward the future you want. Every time we run from a job, we risk of ending up in a similar situation later down the road. Before you search for another job or decide to make a career move, take time and do some honest soul…