Getting Rapture Ready: What to Wear to Heaven

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As I try to prepared for tomorrow’s rapture into heaven, I naturally thought of what I wanted to wear to heaven. That’s a big question. Think about it. So I did. But according to some, we would go naked. However, if they are wrong and we did indeed make the trip wearing whatever we had on at the time of the rapture, which I heard somewhere is around 5 p.m. tomorrow, that could be embarrassing.  Trying to understand and visualize such event, I googled the rapture so I could see what it would look like. Here’s what I found:

rapture clothed

According to this interpretation, Christians will be raptured fully clothed. They also will be dragged up as some of these people look like they are not wanting to go while others are flying up with open arms.

rapture

According to this interpretation, Christians that are raptured will look like Tinkerbell and glow from excess pixie dust.

rapture

This guy decided that only the slim and athletic will make it to heaven. Or those who are raptured will be turned into slim and athletic people. In this case, pass the ice cream!

I still haven’t answered the big question: What should I wear?

If we go naked, then all bets are off, including our pants and our apparel doesn’t matter. Now if we go up clothed I’m going to wear white. Think about every movie scene shot in heaven you’ve seen. What are people wearing? White. That’s right. Whether they are wearing togas, moo moos, or a suit, people in heaven always wear white. Angels have been sporting white attire longer than we have and they look marvelous. And since we’re going to have new bodies, you don’t have to worry about looking bad carrying excess weight in your revealing whites. Yeah.

What’s your take? Are you getting your best whites on?

  • Christian

     This smells like a conspiracy. How much did the cotton and bleach industries pay you to  force feed us this propaganda?

    •  It’s not a “conspiracy” as much as a simple “sponsorship.”

      • Christian

        On second thought, I suggest you get a tan just in case we’re raptured in our birthday suits. I’d hate for you to be the one to blind Jesus.

  • Mark H Jeffress

     I’m wearing something comfortable, but yet elegant. 

    • I’m not sure what that is, but I hope it at least matches. When my kids say comfortable they usually mean fatigues.

  • Anonymous

     I’m pretty sure all the movies have it wrong.  If heaven is paradise…it will be like San Diego…and I’ll need to have on a nice hawaiian shirt

    • I think Hawaiian shirts came with the fall of mankind. 🙂

  • Anonymous

     I’m gonna shave my legs in case of nude rapture!  

    •  Now, that’s funny!!

      • Anonymous

        Thanks!  This was a great post Maurilio!

  •  Oh Maurilio – so grateful I read this before I got dressed this morning! Thank you!
    Be ready!

    • I just want the bride to be pretty. 🙂

      • Jules

        You are certifiably insane. Talking about Heaven like you HAVE NO CLUE! AND, the scary thing is, is that YOU ARE A REAL PERSON! You need a Lobotomy! Seriously! Psychotic Freak!

  • Steve Shantz

    Maurilio. Just remember that those who are slim and athletic on earth have “already received their reward”. I plan on looking better than you in heaven. I’ll wear white.

  • Anonymous

    Gold of course.  Why you all would not wear gold passes me by. 

    •  @concerned543:disqus Gold is tricky since, as you know, the streets of heaven are paved with it. So then it would look like we’re wearing asphalt in heaven’s context. That just would not do.

      • JulesUJulesles

        I seriously hope ALL of you are Joking. You know what I think? You are ALL a bunch of WHACKJOBS! Who have not, OBVIOUSLY, read the bible. Do all of you really think God or Jesus gives a HOOT WHAT YOU ARE WEARING? All of you need too spend more time reading the bible and stay out of fantasy land. My opinion? All of you definitely need a LOBOTOMY! You ALL ARE VERY, VERY SCARY, SCREWED PEOPLE! Dang! You are ALL CERTIFIABLE!

  • welp, i’m sitting here in my snazzy white toga… rope belt… sandals… waiting… and nothing happened… so i’m wondering if i should go to Church tomorrow… or not ? (hee) 

    •  If you didn’t make it, you most definitely should go to church. Provided you pastor is still around.

  •  I’m hoping we go naked frankly. I want a perfect body & better wardrobe. *Kidding*

    •  I want a perfect body and a better wardrobe and I’m not kidding.

  • Thank you, oh dear dispenser of all things fashion forward. I feel so much more prepared. And, even though the approximate time for this specific rapture has come and gone,  I know that 2012 is also predicted by some as a possible end of the world. I am relieved knowing that I have almost a year to choose just the right thing. I am thinking lace. And maybe chiffon. It would flow nicely… 😉

    • @6d8c1f2a245f7bf3bac2b055f9500a7d:disqus you don’t strike me as a chiffon kind of girl. I can see some cool lace, however. It’s making a come back 🙂

  • Dyskater

    Hey everybody, hear this. Those of you who are still thinking on choosing what to wear when the rapture moment comes, you had no idea. the Bible says: ‘those who are still tied to earth things(materials) cannot come to my kingdom, Jesus sais’. Therefore people, I just wanna said here,let go of our thoughts of this world, and be ready, that whenever Lord calls us back to His kingdom, we are always ready. The visual of rapture shown here does not always correct, maybe it’s only their imagination, however, nobody ever know when, and how will it happen..it’s a BIG QUESTION MARK..so peeps..let us strengthen our faith in our Lord Jesus Christ!^_^ Amen..!XD

    • Jules

      Thank You!, Dyskater! These people need to read their bible ore and stop going to the mall ‘shopping for what to wear in Heaven!’

  • Jules

    WHAT TO WEAR IN HEAVEN? Are you guys seriously really thinking or pondering about this? All of you are NUTJOBS! It does NOT MATTER!

    God will take care of ‘everything’! Dang idiots!

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