Friendship Blinders Could Cost You a Lot


You probably have all the friends you “need” in life. Perhaps if you have even more of your share of close relationships and you cannot even manage the ones you have well. So, if you’re like most, you go on about your life with relational blinders on. No, you’re not rude or aloof, but you unconsciously developed the attitude that communicates, “while you might be a nice person, I’ve gotten all the friends I need.”  I wish you would reconsider.

Your Friendship

When you allow your story to intersect someone else’s story in a meaningful way something special happens. I believe God brings a new friendship into our lives sometimes for a short season, sometimes for a lifetime to enrich both lives. When we fail to seize the opportunity to engage someone new, to ask a second question that will lead into a longer, more meaningful conversation, and we retreat into our overly scheduled lives, we miss out on a blessing. Some of the people whose lives have deeply impacted my own I have met in chance meetings where I could have easily missed the opportunity to engage. I’m so thankful I didn’t.

Today as you sit in church or go about your business I want to challenge you to be aware of the people God places in your path. This is not about being an extrovert, seeking out every new face you run across and making small talk. But I want you and I to be present, to live in the moment, engaged. I want to be able to look people in the eye and realize that their story might be part of mine, to be aware that the stranger I have just met, could one day become a dear friend. After all, a stranger is just a friend we have not yet met.

How hard is for you to make new friends?

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  • juliekolb

    Love this blog and I also have a name for this situation..It's called "Crossroads Theory" ..There are those pivotal points in your life that God places a person in that cross path…If you have an open mind and an open heart, that person can change the direction of your life..Pretty simple..If you take the time to listen to God's voice you will hear it…He speaks through His people…

    Thanks for the great Sunday thoughts

    • I love the name "Crossroads Theory". Thanks for sharing.

  • Jen Martin

    Thank you for this post. I needed to read it today. I'm not an outgoing person by nature, and I think I'm missing out on life.

  • Mark Smith

    Great reminder, Maurilio. Some of my best friends in the world I have met in the most unlikely places, such as the gym or on jury duty. We never know who is going to become a friend for life.

    • I've made some great friends at a gym. One of them, Steve, we ended up being in a Bible study together for 8 years.

  • Rodney

    So true.
    I took a year long course at our church based upon strengthening relationships through biblical understanding (as close to a Beth Moore course for men as could exist…)
    Our associate pastor told us at the beginning that most men over 35 only have 4-5 close friends and do not make any more close friends for the rest of their lives. I could not believe this. That was like a punch to the chest since I knew it was true for me.
    Since then, I have developed 3 good friendships that really inspire me.
    It takes work and it pushes you outside of your comfort zone (like commenting on a blog). But the support is what is helping make the place we live, home.
    I have little clue what growing up in another county like you did and then making a life in the US is like. I grew up in the south and making a life in the northeast has been a struggle at times. Friends help make it a new home.

    • Rodney, thanks for pushing through your comfort zone and commenting. It means a lot. And yes, you're right, coming from another country and not knowing the language and the people here it was very difficult. Friendships made it not only bearable but enjoyable.

  • GREAT POST. I do agree that we need to be sensitive to who God brings across our path, but I think the term friendship is thrown around too much in Christian circles. Friendships take work and I think I've tried to maintain relationship when God only wanted that person in my life for a season. I try to stay open to the type of relationship the Lord wants me to have with a person in my life.

    • That's an interesting thought: friendship maintenance. I agree that sometimes we try hard to maintain a relationship that's temporary. But the opposite is also true; we give up too soon at times.

  • I can make new friends easily, but I have a hard time taking those friendships from superficial to meaningful. I am learning more everyday that it is difficult to have deep friendships with lots of people. Jesus had about 13, and then only 3 of them were part of the "inner circle."

    • I feel you Mitch. I use the same relationship guide of Christ. He also had the "Beloved" John.

  • Interestingly, we don't know of Jesus' previous relationships to starting his public ministry. If He was 30 when he recruited the disciples then he must have had other friends. We know that Lazarus was a good friend as well.

  • Robert Wright

    Great post! Wow what a different world we would live in if everyone woke up each morning with this attitude.

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