Recently I’ve spent time with two great communicators: one has sold over 37 million books and the other is a leader of one of the nation’s largest churches and an amazing teacher. For all practical purposes these men are “on top of their game,” after all they have achieved the kind of professional success most people only dream of achieving. Interestingly, each of them independently of one another asked me the same question: How can I get better at what I do?      I’m sure the very reason for their success is, what I call, “the life-long learner syndrome.” I was first introduced to it but an 83 year-old camp cook in South America when I was only 15. She called me in the kitchen and ask me to show her how to make Brazilian Stroganoff. She had been cooking five times longer than I had been alive, and…

Authenticity. It’s a big word and it’s everywhere today. We want an authentic life with authentic friends, even down to attending church with an authentic preacher. But sadly, we, myself included, are often guilty of measuring ourselves against the impossible: the manufactured image of perfection we hear, watch, and read about. These works of populist fiction become our target in real life. I must congratulate my fellow marketers in succeeding selling us plastic perfection but derailing us in our pursuit of an authentic self. But no matter how philosophical I get, I find myself going back to the old adage, “beauty is skin deep, but ugliness is to the bone.” So I try harder, run longer, hit the gym at 5 a.m. and pass up on the chocolate cake that beckons for me every time I walk into the kitchen. My insecurity demons emboldened by the latest picture of the…

I want to live and  die like Andy Rooney. This past week he passed away at the age of 92. After watching Mr. Rooney’s life from my seat in front of the TV since I was a child, I have come to the realization that when it came to work, he got it right. I never met Andy Rooney or knew much about his personal life or religious views. That’s not the point of this post. But here’s what he taught me about life over the decades as I saw him on my tv. He taught me that I need to love what I do. There was no question Andy loved his job. At get 92 in this final interview, Mr. Rooney answered the if-you-had-to-do-it-over question with a simple answer: I would have been a journalist; I would have worked for 60 minutes. In other words, he would have it…

I have attended hundreds of church services as a church secret shopper. I’ve had thousands of conversations with volunteers, staff and visitors. Here’s my list of the top 10 worst things people said to me: 10. “Excuse me, but you’re sitting in my seat” It seems cliche but it happens more often than you think. 9. “ya’ not from around here, are ya?” Older man said to me after I asked directions to the restroom. I didn’t respond, but I was thinking: “What gave it away? having all my teeth?” 8. “Follow the blue line. It’s kinda of complicated. Good luck.” Said the two men sitting inside the information kiosk before turning to each other and finishing their conversation. They pointed to a board on the wall with multiple color lines leading to different locations on campus. 7. “Nazarenes are a lot like the Baptists, but holier,” middle aged man…

“Every good idea must have a similar, but yet inferior Christian version.”  Unfortunately, I think that’s a sad reality these days. I have lost count of the times I was asked if my company, The A Group, could help a church or ministry to create a Christian version of Facebook. Seriously.  Should every church have its own alternative to Facebook? For some un-Biblical reason, we Christians find the need to abandon our culture and gather together in what I call the  “Christian Ghetto.” The Christian Ghetto is a place where you go to hang out with your Christian friends, fill up a website with Christian pictures and Christian videos of lots of happy people, bad preaching and youth camp promos. There’s not much witnessing and shedding of light in the ghetto since everyone is already convinced and the place is way too bright as is. I understand the need for…

The retail price is never final. I learned that lesson early in life from my father who is a master bargainer. But I didn’t know that I could take my third world bargaining skills into the heart of the first world fashion district in Manhattan. This is a fashion post, sort of. I hear from guys or their wives who want to buy a designer jacket or suit but don’t have the budget to afford it. Here are a few tips to get you into the nicer clothes you thought you could not afford. Set your budget before going shopping. Much like buying a car or something expensive, you can get caught “in the moment” and end up spending your children’s college fund in new clothes. It’s easy to do. Don’t ask me how I know it. Find a locally owned high-end store. The reason I prefer to shop in…

Christmas Eve is a great opportunity to reach those outside the church that often goes unused. I’m usually arguing with several pastors during this time of the year. Seems like every year I have to convince a Senior Pastor that Christmas Eve is a powerful and great opportunity for outreach. Catholic churches have known this for centuries. Evangelicals are just now waking up to it. Here are the top 5 mistakes churches can make when planning their Christmas services. Give the staff Christmas Eve off. That’s a critical mistake that a lot of churches make. Christmas Eve is a great opportunity to reach out to people who want to connect with God and their families and who are looking for an opportunity to do so. Done well, your Christmas Eve service could be one of the best attended service of the entire year. If you are in ministry, working on…

This past weekend I happened upon Uniqlo on 5th Avenue in Manhattan. I must confess, I didn’t know anything about the brand, but after shopping in its brand new 90,000 square foot flagship store, I have become a fan. I’m enthusiastic not because I like their clothing, which I do, but because in a time where retailers are struggling to “make it,” Uniqlo seems to have figured out what we want. The best way I can explain the brand is by saying that Uniqlo is for clothing what Ikea is for furniture, but with better quality stuff. Uniqlo started in Japan and was once a men’s clothing store. Now it’s making a play as a global brand. Here’s what I think these guys have gotten right from a branding, marketing and business model. They design and produce their own clothing line. They are not competing with everyone else for the…

Someone said you are the average of the 5 people closest to you in every area of your life. That thought has stayed with me for a long time. Could it be true? Think about the 5 people whom you are the closest at this point in life. Where are you financially, physically, spiritually in relation to them?  We grew up hearing about the dangers of peer pressure and not getting “mixed up with the wrong crowd.” People have a way to affect us negatively as well as positively, and in my experience, no relationship is strictly one way. Not for long, anyway. So we influence those around us as much as they influence us. For the sake of this mental exercise, let’s then assume we ARE the average of the five people closest to us. What are the implications not only for where we are currently in our life…

“And let’s also add a blog to the new site design,” he said as if it were an afterthought, which I was sure it was. Knowing his propensity for delegating, I probed further, “That’s great. How often are you planning on blogging?” “Oh, I’m not going to write the blog myself, ” he said assuredly, “my secretary is going to take care of that.” Unfortunately, I find myself having this conversation with Pastors and business leaders more and more often. What ensues is usually a long argument about what a blog should or shouldn’t be. Here are some thoughts on the matter: Your blog should be your voice. It’s telling your story or the things you’re passionate about. No one else can do it for you. Are you sure you want your assistant speaking for you? If you have a corporate blog than, it’s a different matter. You can even…