Every minute you spend with someone who is a negative influence in your life is a minute you could spend with someone else who could be helping you grow. While such thinking might sound self-serving, and it can be if all you care is yourself, it can help you make a smart choice about investing your precious time. The longer I live, the more time becomes a precious commodity. It seems to accelerate with each passing year. The long days of impatiently waiting for birthdays and holidays to come around of my youth are now replaced by the sudden realizations of “where has this year gone?”. I have finally realized that some relationships, whether professional or personal, are completely draining. Like a black hole that takes everything in its path, these depleting relationships never give back. They only take. Mentoring and volunteering aside, those closest to us have the greatest…

There’s nothing more difficult than dealing with a friend or client who is negative, often disrespectful, and yet completely unaware of his behavior.   In my experience, people who are insecure are also not self-aware. So a heart-to-heart about their self-centered ways usually doesn’t work. They will generally deflect that to you and try to play the victim–which is their preferred position. Sometimes they will apologize not because they think they have done something wrong, but because they think you are mad at them and they want to be back in your good graces. It’s not “I’m sorry I have wronged you,” as much as it is “I’m sorry you feel that way.” See the subtle and yet important difference? Here’s my approach: So we need to break the cycle of abuse, and the only way I have been able to do that is to wait until another “infraction” happens.…

In this series of dealing with difficult people we must tackle one of the most disruptive personalities in any environment, especially in the work place: the drama queen. Before you label me a male chauvinist, let me say that the drama queen is not gender specific. Males can make some of the most disruptive drama queens, sexuality issues apart.  I do not refer to them as drama “kings” because that title sounds too dignified to represent the type of chaos this personality type brings into any group dynamic. A drama queen is someone who makes every issue and problem about herself. She always has to be the center of attention. Drama usually follows her or she’ll make sure to create it. Left unchecked, the drama queen will Keep tabs on everyone just in case she needs material to create drama Give with the expectation of receiving React, well, over react…

Dealing with difficult people is not an option; it’s a human dynamic we all face, sometimes daily. Next in this series, I want to address a type we all deal with, especially in lean times: the cheapskate client. There is a big difference between being frugal and being cheap. Frugal people: Maximize resources Optimizes opportunities Value quality Understand priorities Not afraid of spending on the right tools and opportunities Cheap people: cut corners to save a little sacrifice outcome or quality for the bottom-price deal do not value quality under-resource their organization see where they can save but seldom what they can gain Early in my career as a creative director/designer, I was hired by a former college teacher who was cheap…very cheap. I should have known my challenge when he hired me to develop a book cover. I remember seeing him buy a small soft drink with no ice…

Dealing with difficult people is not an option; it’s a human dynamic we all face, sometimes daily. There are different levels and types of difficult people. In this series, I would like to identify a specific type and how I try to deal with them in a professional environment. Anyone who works in any type of service industry must learn how to manage people well in order to survive, especially dealing with the know-it-all client. You know the type: they know more than anyone in the room, no matter the subject. They always, and I mean always, have an opinion about everything…sometimes even more than one opinion on any given subject. And now it’s your job to manage this person and get your project done to his or her standards. When the know-it-all client starts to pontificate on matters that you are suppose to lead and begins to tell you…

The old man was out of control and out of order. His wife was taken to the operating room 30 minutes before she was scheduled and we were not there in time to pray with her before the surgery. Now his angry words echoed through the hospital waiting room for all to hear: “you’re the worst preacher ever. How much do we pay you anyway? Whatever it is, it’s too much.” As I was about to defend my boss and put the old man in his place, Ron reached over and waved me back. He knew that the man was in pain and that his outburst was not about us, but about his fears. A few minutes later the elderly gentleman broke down and began to cry. Ron consoled him as he asked for forgiveness almost immediately. I was 21 years old and I was in my first year of…