Archive for the ‘authenticity’ Category

@maurilio:

21

Faith and My Growing Shades of Gray

Years ago life and faith were more black and white than they are today. Maybe I was more self righteous in those days or perhaps a simple “right or wrong” world was a  much easier proposition to deal with than the complex place of multiple shades of gray. I know I have changed. I’m not talking about making a big theological shift that would shake the foundation of my faith. But the more self aware I become of my own human condition, the more willing I am to extend grace to those around me. Life is messy. People screw up. A lot. Even people who should know better do stupid stuff. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve caught myself saying “How could he do that?” But I know how. It’s not as hard as I once thought. While I’m not making excuses for people’s sin, I would not…

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11

Owning My Own Issues: A Confession

Yesterday was a very busy, challenging day for me. I don’t know if you can relate to the type of day that seems to be hard to get through. It’s the kind of day that you realize you might just have too many plates up in the air and that some might be crashing soon. There were too many loose ends, too much ambiguity in the projects I was involved in, and not enough joy to celebrate the victories. Sounds like fun, doesn’t it? So this is not a “how to” blog. It’s just a confessional post. I’m going to own the responsibility for my crazy busy, joyless day. Maybe I’m over committed, or not sleeping enough, or not eating enough, or not eating enough of the right stuff, whatever. I’m not sure yet what the answer to my dilemma is, but I’m going to figure it out, and soon.…

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21

Wearing Your Religion

He was about to give the man at the front desk a piece of his mind. He had some of the worst customer service experience in a long time, after all, these people had overcharged his credit card two months in a row. The fitness club manager was a shady character who wore warm up suits and gold chains and spoke words like “your health is the most important thing to us.”  My friend stood at the front desk getting the run around on why the charge discrepancy. As his righteous indignation grew into plain anger, and the level of his voice began to raise he suddenly stopped dead on his tracks. I stood to the side of him watching the whole exchange go down. Secretly, I was looking forward to the show down between Dickie and the smarmy manager. But it didn’t happen. Dickie, stopped talking and said, “I’ll…

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13

I’m Lowering My Expectations

You go the extra mile. You reach out and give beyond what  you thought you should give, and yet, there’s nothing in return, or at least not the return you expected. Have you been there with a friend, a family member, a spouse? We all have, and some of us seem to live in a place where we resent people’s lack of gratitude more than we appreciate our relationship with them. It’s difficult to be completely altruistic. It’s not in our human nature. Deep within we are always having the inner conversation that says, “what am I getting out of this?” We do it with God all the time in our bargaining prayers: “God if you let me have such and such, I promise I’ll do  ____” And so we do it with people we love; people we wish would love us back with the same intensity, appreciation and commitment. …

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32

Are We Creating a Better Version of Ourselves Online?

Last week I got several messages from Twitter and Facebook friends about getting together during the Catalyst conference. Unfortunately my schedule was packed with meetings in-between sessions and dinner appointments, and I wasn’t able to  meet many of my digital friends face to face. Since then my insecurities have taken hold of me and whispered, “maybe it was for the best. You’re a lot better looking and more interesting online than in real life.” That thought has stayed with me for days now and I can’t seem to shake it. I overheard a co-worker say that she is often disappointed when meeting celebrities in real life situations because they never live up to her expectations. Ok, I’m not a celebrity–I have no paparazzi following me, or even a friendly stalker–but the comment forced me to ask the question, “have I created a better version of myself online?” I’m not sure…

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16

Is Self Promotion Evil?

Most Christian leaders I know struggle to find balance in life. They need to find the proper ratio between work and family time, the balance between eating and exercising.  But while most of us would agree that family always comes before work and that overeating and poor exercise habits are not good for anyone, Christian leaders struggle with the elusive, apparently evil, but frequently necessary need for self-promotion. Is self-promotion a symptom of a prideful heart, a necessary evil of ministry, or a simple tool to achieve a mean? Well, it depends. I’m not trying to be evasive when I say, “it depends.” As both a communications expert and a literary agent, I help my clients  develop a platform where their resources (books, videos, blogs, curricula) can be consumed. One of the very first questions publishers ask me about a new author is, “what type of platform does he or…

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33

Confessions of a Lousy Father

I got a called from Gwen this afternoon. We had our first teenage car accident. Our 15-year-old son had just backed up his mom’s Infinity SUV into a neighbor’s mailbox crushing the truck’s bumper and destroying the mailbox on his first attempt at driving after getting his permit on Friday. “We just spent two thousand dollars on body work this summer! How are we going to make him pay for the damages? ” were the first words out of my mouth. I was furious and my main concern was with the cost of fixing the car and the mailbox. It wasn’t until later, much later, that I thought about my son, his feelings and the trauma he might be facing. Now as I reflect on today’s event, I so wish I had reacted differently. Even after all the years of reading the Bible, listening to numerous messages, reflecting, praying and…

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23

When Did I Get Old? Undeniable Signs of My Aging

There are some rights of passage in life I look  forward more than others. During my run this morning, I noticed that I might have been going through yet another stage. I’ve heard we become more “eccentric” as we age. I’m not wealthy enough to garner the title of “eccentric.” I’m just getting old and peculiar. Here’s a few signs that point to my aging status: I can’t run, workout or pretty much leave the house without at least 800 milligrams of ibuprofen, metabolic and thermogenic enhancers and a couple of pills I’m not even sure what they do but I’m afraid to stop taking them. I must check the weather as soon as  I wake up. First I was just interested in the local weather, but it has now expanded to cities all over the globe including entire regions in the Pacific rim and western Europe. My growing fascination…

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11

Vanity Sizing and the Need for Truth

Truth is not always pleasant, fun or convenient, but it’s always necessary in life. Without the truth of a working compass, we would be desperately lost. Without the truth of a mirror, we wouldn’t know we have spinach stuck between our teeth or an embarrassing case of bed hair. And yet, our culture continues to find ways to make us feel better about ourselves even at the cost of the truth. Last week I learned about “vanity sizing.” It’s been a known practice in women’s fashion, but it’s now part of men’s as well. In order to make consumers feel better about themselves, and potentially buy more merchandise, designers are selling items that are purposely mislabeled to seem smaller than they actually are. And I’m not just talking about half or a size difference. Old Navy, for example sells pants labeled 36 inch waist that are actually 41 inches. Marketers…

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26

Stupid Stuff I Can’t Believe I Said

Words are a powerful and interesting things. With words we build people up or tear down friendships. They are used to bless as well as to curse. I’m a communication professional. I’m deeply flawed and to make matters more complicated,  I’m also Brazilian. Brazilians are often fun, but we’re also blunt in ways that make southerners blush. Over the years I have tried not only to adapt to my new adopted country, but also temper my not-so-subtle foreign ways.  I have not always succeeded. Here’s some memorable exchanges I wish I could have taken back: “I have the best hair money can buy” jokingly to a gentleman at a church I was interning as he commented on how much he liked my hair. I didn’t realize he was wearing a toupee. (it was a good one, after all) “When are you due?” To my non-pregnant waitress at Cancun restaurant. Twice.…

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