No one likes to receive bad news. But being the bearer of bad news is not much fun either. Seems like the past few weeks I have found myself delivering the kind of messages I wish someone else would do. I want to deliver happiness, fat checks, and great looking food. But there are times we all need to  “suck it up,” and give people news that will disappoint, hurt and even devastate. So how do you do that well? I’m not sure I’m doing it well, but as I thought about the circumstances I’ve been lately, I tried to put myself in the other person’s shoes. If someone is going to give me bad news, how would I like for it be done? Here are some thoughts: Be kind. Difficult conversations are painful by nature. So there’s no need to make them any more hurtful. Tell me the bad…

As the first of 77 million baby boomers reach retirement age, their annual spending power is estimated at 2 trillion dollars. Businesses are working hard at creating Boomer-centric products from cars to ovens while marketers are coming up with innovated ways to sell these products and services to the most affluent generation ever to walk on earth. But what’s the church strategy to reach, engage and deploy this generation? Mostly a seat on a church board. While this is not a scientific or even researched post, I speak from the perspective of someone who gets to visit a lot of churches and happens to be very at the very tail end of the Boomer generation.  Most of the funding for new buildings, capital expenditures and programs come from the 45-65 year olds. It makes sense; we have been in the work force longer and have accumulated more discretionary wealth, and…

Years ago life and faith were more black and white than they are today. Maybe I was more self righteous in those days or perhaps a simple “right or wrong” world was a  much easier proposition to deal with than the complex place of multiple shades of gray. I know I have changed. I’m not talking about making a big theological shift that would shake the foundation of my faith. But the more self aware I become of my own human condition, the more willing I am to extend grace to those around me. Life is messy. People screw up. A lot. Even people who should know better do stupid stuff. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve caught myself saying “How could he do that?” But I know how. It’s not as hard as I once thought. While I’m not making excuses for people’s sin, I would not…

Yesterday I co-chaired the media and entertainment day for the Leadership Brentwood program. We began the morning at the Dave Ramsey headquarters in the Cool Springs area, south of Nashville. Dave leads a thriving business with more than a dozen profit units. He shared with the group his list of the 5 enemies of a healthy team. According to him, if you don’t protect your team against them, your organization will be in trouble. If you want your team to work to its potential, then protect them from: 1. Poor communication. When people don’t know what’s going on they assume the worst. The combination of human nature and old experiences can help derail your team faster than you can say “I have no idea what’s going on here.” Make sure your internal communication is intentional. Don’t assume that everyone knows what’s going on because they don’t. In my experience there’s…

Good leaders are good communicators. There’s no way out of it. Happy talk is their way of casting vision but not accomplishing much.  One of the primary functions of a leader is to sell a vision, a destination, or a future to his or her followers. You can’t do that without good communication skills. But a good communicator is not necessarily a good leader. While your oratory skills might get you elected to a prestigious position, it will not keep you there long. I have been in so many meetings led by a good communicator who happens to be a poor leader. Most of goes on in these settings I call “happy talk”: the ability to talk about ideas, projects and initiatives that will never materialize. Chances are, next time the same people convene, some, if not all, of the same subject matter will come back up for discussion again.…

Traditional retail is in trouble. More and more people are buying products online. It’s convenient, easy and, for the most part, cheaper than going on a shopping expedition to the local mall. Retailers have noticed that and are trying to figure out what they need to do in order to be competitive. Unless you are Walmart, the retailer behemoth, you know that you can’t compete purely on price. Not long ago while exchanging some Christmas gifts at The Buckle store at the Cool Springs Mall,  I was reminded that as far as retail is concerned there’s still no substitute for a great sales person. I went to the store to exchange of couple of items with no intention of spending any extra money. An hour and a half later, I left with three extra bags. I was thinking on my way out of the store, “what just happened?” Well, I…

A life well lived happens in the context of relationships. I’m convinced of that. God designed humans to be in community with one another. That’s why food tastes better when shared with friends and a beautiful sunset experienced with a loved one stays with you forever. But successful marriages, partnerships, or friendships need attention and even what I call “relational promises.” These set of values or promises help me frame my commitment to family and friends in a way that holds me accountable to my end of the relationship. One of the most important promises I make my friends is to always give them the benefit of the doubt. A true friend will defend, uphold and protect publicly, but question privately. We all have been there–during a conversation a salient tidbit of gossip comes up about a friend who’s not present. Sometimes it’s an accusation by someone who’s been hurt.…

I spent Sunday morning with my friends at the Church on The Eastern Shore in Fairhope, Alabama, a very eclectic artist community near Mobile. I rejoiced with them as hundreds of new faces visited the church on the opening Sunday of their new teaching series. That’s a part of my job that gives me  great satisfaction: watching God bless an entire team’s effort. COTE’s story is one that I have seen happen time and time again, but it never grows old. Here’s what I have seen in churches like COTES that succeed in reaching their community for the gospel. They learn. Growing churches are learning organizations. They are always asking “how can we be better?” They invest resources and in training and helping their staff and volunteers grow. I’m always humbled when I’m asked to consult with a church and help them to stretch beyond where they’ve been. They have…

Margins. They make reading easier by framing words on a page. Margins in our lives serve to keep our existence from more than a hurried, crowded narrative of our daily attempts of self preservation. But it seems that we keep adding just a little more activity, more goals, more work, more debt, more fun, more stuff until the story of our lives reads like a jumbled mess of words filling every white space on the page of our existence. I’ve been reconsidering my own margins. Here’s what I want: Margin in my schedule. That’s such a struggle. I’m in a season of my life that a lot of the work I have done for decades is finally paying off. That translates in opportunities and those commitments need my time. I’ve worked hard for this and now I’m struggling with it. Without margins on my schedule I can’t find time to…

Yesterday I attended the memorial service for Bert Tippett.  I met Mr. Tippett during my first week of college. He was a teacher, a dear friend, a mentor, and role model to me of what meant to be a kind, genuine, graceful man who loved God, his family and those around him. A few years ago I had the privilege of working  alongside him in a few projects. He was one of the few people, perhaps the only one I have ever known, who was loved and respected by every person he met. His life was a true testament of God’s grace. He lived well and during the last few years, fought cancer valiantly. But Bert didn’t die alone and unappreciated. Interestingly, Facebook had a lot todo with that. Mr. Tippett’s 1,904 friends on Facebook kept a steady stream of encouraging messages posted on his wall day and night since…