18 Comments

How to Screw Up a Thank You Note

A handwritten thank you note is one of most classy and kind things one can do whether in a business transaction or on a personal level. I don’t care how bad your handwriting is, it’s always a pleasant surprise to receive a note from someone who went to the trouble to write it out and mail it to you. I love it, and I don’t know anyone who doesn’t. But sometimes even something simple as a thank you note can backfire if it’s not executed properly.

So you can imagine how glad I was to get a thank you note from someone on his personal stationary. However, the label with my name on the envelope should have given it away, but I still opened it hoping for the best. It was not to be.

Obviously this was a generic “thank you” printed on personal note stationary. And to make it even more tacky, it wasn’t even signed. The whole thing was ruined for me. I now wished the person hadn’t even bothered to tell his secretary to send it out.
Maybe I’m too sensitive, but I’ve tried to think of the gesture, but the botched execution is the only thing I can focus on.
Moral of the story:

No matter what your intentions are, you’re going to be judged on the execution.

 I heard it just today “he’s a visionary, but he can’t execute anything.” I call that happy talk: it means nothing, just hot air. Too many people have a vision but only those who find a way to make it happen will be rewarded.


Am I too sensitive on this issue? Should I have been happy with the generic thank you, since at least I got one?

Posted on Tuesday, January 26th, 2010 at 5:51 pm under Uncategorized.

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Copyright © 2012 Maurilio Amorim

  • Mark Rogers

    Maurilio,
    I think you're right. A thank you note that's printed and not signed is just tacky.

  • John Gallagher

    Maurilio, Is Maybe a good answer to your question. Hard to tell what is behind the intention. I struggle with this. I am currently trying out SendOutCards because a) it prints in my personal handwriting. b) it has a real stamp and not an bulk stamp. I am not sold yet. I agree there really is a good feeling to a hand-written card versus an email thank you, or a text thank you. I will blog about my experience with it…

  • MaurilioAmorim

    Mark, I'm glad I'm not the only guy who feels that way.

  • jcatron

    I'm with you… if it's not really a personal note, don't make it look like one. It's much more of a negative impression than a positive one.

  • Jon Dale

    Maurilio, I completely agree. I think the only way to avoid doing a handwritten note is to have an actual gift sent. Then the fact that you sent a gift overrides the fact that you didn't hand sign a card.

  • paula

    Nope – you aren't too sensitive. Thank you notes are not my forte – so I tend to just not do one unless I feel really drawn to. This is pretty much because I don't want to become that person that sends them out of habit in a generic format.

    A close friend of mine is wonderful at this – sends hand written notes frequently – and on cards that have appropriate imagery on the front with blank insides for plenty of hand written thoughts. Her notes, I cherish…

  • srivera

    Did you tell him?

  • MaurilioAmorim

    I actually called him when I got it and I was going to jokingly let him know, but he didn't answer the phone and I didn't leave a message. But next time the opportunity presents itself, I'll let him know.

  • MaurilioAmorim

    It's the same people who have people write their blogs and post their tweets. It's all about the appearance of authenticity and care. It ultimately betrays you.

  • Kathryn Lang

    My grandmother taught me that if I wasn't willing to make it personal then it wasn't worth sending. I even write a note on Christmas cards.

    My own children know to have three elements in a thank you note. 1. acknowledge the specific gift. 2. Explain how it will be used or why it is appreciated. 3. Thank them a second time.

    The art of thank you (and hand written letters) has been lost in a sea of technology. I'm with you – let's get it back!

  • MaurilioAmorim

    John,
    Let me know how it works. I look forward to your opinion of it.

  • MaurilioAmorim

    Kathryn,
    These are great points. I'll incorporate them in my Thank You notes for sure.

  • Jeremy Hitt

    Our society has all but lost personal touch. We send birthday wishes via Facebook instead a phone call or, at the least, a card in the mail. A generic thank you notice is just that… generic. I started writing my grandmother personal letters several years ago. She is not computer savy so an email wouldn't suffice. It has become something she truly looks forward to receiving, and, I believe, gives her a touch of nostalgia and helps her not to feel so lost in a world of technology that has left her years ago. Bring back the personal! :)

  • Richard Byrd

    I use a service online for my thank you cards – I have scanned in my signature and the font is my handwriting. I personally type in my "blurb" – Does this count. I will have to reassess.

    By the way I have been defending you and our industry on another blog -

  • John Gallagher

    Maurilio, I have been using it for a few months now. I find it VERY easy to use and like the added feature of it having the ability to use my personal handwriting. There are improvements I would like to see, though, also:
    1) The lead time from their Utah facility is about 3-4 days depending on where it is going. If I write a local thank you note, it generally gets there the next day on my own. My understanding is that they are preparing to build a facility in Cincinnati which should help.
    2) The outside envelope is not in my handwriting. It does have a real stamp, but the postmark is also from Utah…

  • John Gallagher

    There are really good things:
    1) Hundreds of cards to choose from for all occasions
    2) Add your own personal, digital photos to the inside of the card for only and additional $0.31
    3) Send a card for under a buck. Nice note cards tend to be about a dollar a piece and hallmardk cards are $3 and up!!
    4) You can also send postcards or tri-fold cards
    5) They have a personal database where you can upload names, addresses, anniversary, and birthdates. Then, it also gives you a reminder for those events
    6) You can attach 'gifts' as well. Brownies, gift cards, magazine subscriptions, etc.

    So, overall, the pluses outweigh the challenges and I feel like they are working to improve on the minuses.

    Send a free one on me to try it out. " target="_blank"&gt <a href="http://;www.sendoutcards.com/johngallagher” target=”_blank”>;www.sendoutcards.com/johngallagher

    Send it to your home so that you can see the quality of it. Hope this review helps…

  • MaurilioAmorim

    I know people who use the same service with mixed results. It works ok in business settings, but not as well on personal matters. Thanks for defending me. It's very kind of you.

  • MaurilioAmorim

    Thanks John, someone gave me a tour of the sendoutcards.com site last week. I think it's a great option for business contacts but for the more personal touch to those times it makes the greatest impact, I still think a truly handwritten note is king.